Listen to Lena

Perfecting the Art of Conversuasion

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I’ve Decided to Re-Name My Son “Don’t”

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So it occurred to me this morning that actually say “Don’t” to Ryder more often than I actually say his name.

Don’t jump.
Don’t touch that.
Don’t hit your brother.
Don’t eat that.
Don’t crawl behind there.
Don’t pull on that.
Don’t kick the back of my seat.
Don’t you dare give me that look.
Don’t say that.
Don’t scream like that.
Don’t stand there.
Don’t make a mess.
Don’t make that face.

Don’t DO that. (10x per hour, at least.)

Hence, I’ve decided to cease calling him Ryder, because he obviously responds more effectively to Don’t.

(Or maybe he doesn’t. But do I care at this moment? DON’ T think so!)

Friends, let’s all bow our heads and pray that I don’t decide to sell him for two Bon Jovi concert tickets.

Thirty-Four Things

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For the last three years, I’ve had a blog tradition – on my birthday, I’ve listed 31/32/33 things that I love. Last year, my list looked like this.

But today, I’m at a loss – after all, I’ve cumulatively listed close to 100 things I love! I’m running out of ideas. So this year, I thought I’d share 34 tidbits that you may not know about me. I mean sure, you know I have two little boys and spend a lot of time blogging, but did you know:

1. I have an irrational fear of all spiders after coming face to face with a tarantula when I was three years old.
2. In grade nine, I rolled my kilt to make it shorter (Catholic high school uniform, rolls eyes).
3. I love the spicy, pungent taste of raw garlic.
4. My feet are AAA width. It takes on average 254 days to find a shoe narrow enough to fit my grossly skeletal feet.
5. Before I became a mom, I was a Corporate Trainer for a Fortune 100 Company. I excel in the boardroom.
6. I check the time every 5-6 minutes. It’s a nervous habit I can’t seem to break.
7. I have the most annoying laugh in the world. Kind of like “donkey meets Fran Drescher”.
8. My high school boyfriend cheated on me with a stripper (and later, married her).
9. I love being the center of attention, but enjoy sharing the spotlight even more.
10. Nails on a chalkboard is fine. Cutting into a squeaky apple? Ugh!
11. I met my husband on Lavalife, an online dating service.
12. I don’t have a favourite vacation spot, because I’ve done very little travelling.
(As soon as the boys are a little older, I plan to rectify this.)
13. I’ve obtained a signed declaration from my hairdresser that at 34 years old, I don’t have a single gray hair.

Okay, I seriously can’t go on. Oh wait, I just thought of another one:

14. Although I like talking about the things I love, I have trouble talking about myself.

Have a great weekend friends! I intend to celebrate, as always, with cake and Coca-Cola!

“Ram”ming it in My Face

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It happens every year around this time. Which shouldn’t really surprise me, because people’s birthdays are usually celebrated on the same date year after year. Still, I get very surly and sour when I realize we have entered into that particular sign of the zodiac called ARIES.

Aries: The Ram
March 21st to April 20th

The Good: Enthusiastic and confident, dynamic and quick-witted.
The Bad:   Impulsive and impatient.
The Ugly:  Moody. Short tempered. Self-involved.

Now I truly have nothing against Ariens, per se, because I happen to share the sign! Yup, proud April baby over here. But I have prejudices just the same, and they happen to lie with with a whole bunch of people from my past – my exes, to be precise. ALL of my ex-boyfriends are Ariens. ALL of them.

It’s not like I chose men based purely on their astrological makeup; instead, it was purely a coincidence that I found myself attracted to the person first, and found out about their zodiac sign second. In fact, I didn’t even recognize a pattern until the third or fourth boyfriend – when I noticed that I was constantly buying cards and gifts in close proximity to my own birthday. After that, I made a conscious effort to uncover a guy’s sign from the start – and was floored to find out that I regularly seemed to gravitate towards energetic, confident, and impulsive men.

Or maybe it was the moody, impatient and self-involved traits I craved.

As one friend suggested, it’s possible that I just enjoyed seeking out others who shared the same qualities as me; a fellow member of the sign. Whatever the explanation, I’ve had five previous boyfriends, all Aries. I briefly dated two other men, also Ariens. And I think I may have had a drunken make-out session at some point… I’m not too clear on the details, but years later (through the magic of Facebook) I am very aware of one detail: he’s an Aries too.

And I suppose the common denominator here is that they’re all defective (trust me) in some way – or I’d still be with one of them, right? Perhaps the whole Aries-on-Aries cocktail does not mix well in my case.

So back to my surly mood. It’s “Ex-Boyfriend Birthday Season!” That’s right, folks – for the next few weeks, I’ll be constantly reminded of all my exes, thanks to my inability to forget “significant” dates. I took the liberty of posting their pictures and birthdays (in order of relationship) so you too can celebrate along with us:

Okay so that’s not really them, but I think I did a good job of capturing their likeness. A bonus: the conversation wasn’t awkward at all when my husband caught me customizing the pictures. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Just creating cartoons in the likeness of my ex-boyfriends,” I responded. (Three second pause.) “Okay. When’s dinner?”

By the way, in case you’re wondering, years ago I finally met a great guy who wasn’t an Aries. So I did the only logical thing: I married him.

Waiting For Tonight

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Last night I came across a piece of history – a relic, if you will – a jar of glitter gel from the ol’ clubbing days. It was the cheap kind that I’m fairly certain I scooped up from the “4 for $5.00” tray at Claire’s. My BFF and I would liberally spread the grape-scented glitter on our cheeks, clavicles and arms in an attempt to sparkle under the club’s strobe lights.

(It wasn’t hard. Trust me, we showed A LOT of skin.)

The once shimmery gel has since hardened into a gluey, funky-smelling substance – although the jar doesn’t explicitly list an expiry date, I’m thinking they didn’t have 14 years crammed into an old makeup bag in mind. But it’s not so much the ancient artifact that has me nostalgic; rather, it’s the memories of what Fridays used to be like.

Hushed conversations on the phone at work.
Deciding what to wear; discussing in detail the case for black pants vs. little black dress.
Wondering if I had enough time to re-paint my toe nails.
Popping in a house music CD to get the blood pumping and my head bobbing.
Looping giant velcro rollers into my hair.
Doing sit-ups on the bedroom floor at 8:00pm.
Calling for last minute wardrobe checks.*

*This one makes me long for the days of yore more than anything else; it was the knowledge that I knew every single article of clothing in a friend’s wardrobe. If she said, “I’m wearing my orange tank top which make my boobs look great”, I instantly knew the tank top she was referring to. Because we hung out in casual clothes, went clubbing in dressy clothes and spent copious amounts of time shopping together; hence, all new purchases were mentally categorized as well. Today, not knowing what a friend will wear means that we don’t spend nearly enough time together. Le sigh.

Speaking of today, this is what my Friday looks like.

Checking online grocery flyers, looking for cheese on sale.
Sorting laundry into darks, lights and towels.
Wondering where to take the kids this weekend – animal farm or indoor playground?
Pulling on yet another pair of yoga pants. I don’t do yoga.
Making a mental note to gather all my tax info.
Nagging my husband to clean out the garage tomorrow.
Chatting with my BFF and asking what she’s up to for the weekend, but not really hearing her.

Sheesh. Perhaps I’ll run out and grab a new jar of glitter. What’s sexier than a sparkly mama pulling tots in a wagon?

My favourite throwback to the good ol’ days: Waiting for Tonight by Jennifer Lopez. Should I be pissed that she’s still living the same life as 1999? Um… probably not.

Imperfect.

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Definition of Imperfect: Not Perfect.

{Also see: Defective}

I am an imperfect mom.

At least twice per week, I wonder if I can get away with feeding the boys strawberries for breakfast and popcorn for lunch. It’s all they’ll eat and dammit, I am TIRED of trying to force feed them the perfectly crimped sandwiches, heart-shaped cheese slices and stategically portioned celery stalks (complete with dipping sauce) that we’re told perfect moms put in their child’s lunchbox. In my house, sometimes lunch comes from a cracker box that may or may not contain my sons’ entire recommended daily intake of sodium.

I can never remember to brush the boys’ teeth. Yeah okay, I do pretty well in the morning, but before bed? Fail. Their toothbrushes are on the vanity right beside the bathtub, and all I have to do is reach over and brush them while they’re bathing. Problem is, when they’re in the bath I’m usually sitting on the toilet (seat down) drinking a glass of wine and staring into space.

I scream at my kids – often louder, and nastier, than I’ve screamed at anyone in my life. Sometimes I don’t even recognize my voice; it’s a mix of anger, disgust, and most of all, desperation. A deep desperation that is etched in every syllable because I am rendered insignificant and helpless with every cup of spilled milk, every overturned laundry basket, every crayon scribbled across the wall. They just don’t care – and don’t seem to get that I do. When it’s really bad, screaming turns into sobbing.

I spank/hit/smack my kids – in appropriate places and with appropriate force – as a form of discipline. You don’t have to agree with me – I really don’t care if you do, because I’m not here to judge your parenting methods. But I’ll tell you this: last year, Ryder reached for a pot of boiling water in jest. Me shouting (sorry – calmly instructing him) “Go stand in the corner” would not have saved him from 2nd degree burns. I swiped at his arm so hard it knocked him over – and prevented him from knocking over the pot. So maybe I am barbaric. But I love my children and when safety is involved, I do not worry about hurt feelings or egos.

I have no idea how to engage with other children. I don’t know how to kneel down and sip tea from a tea set or feign interest in some silly zombie video game. I work hard at relating to my own kids, and that’s where I draw the line. At this very moment, I can talk about Cars 2 and Thomas and Friends and Courdoroy the Bear and Toopee and Binoo and Hot Wheels and Iggle Piggle and Lego Duplo. And that’s it. And when my kids move on to something else, that’s what I’ll be interested in. I may like your kids, and I may love your company, but please don’t ask me to like the company of your kids. You go ahead and amuse them, please. (Somehow I don’t think I’ll be volunteering on class field trips.)

At least once per day, I wonder what a perfect mom would do. What a perfect mom would say. How a perfect mom would handle a situation. And then I do what my instincts tell me, perfection be damned. Sometimes, that involves letting Reid have a sip of pop at a party (I breastfed him for 20 months, so spare me the bugged eyes and death stare – true story), keeping the boys in pjs all day, or letting Ryder stay up way past his bedtime. Sometimes, I pull marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box, and divvy them up – one for Ryder, one for Reid, one for mommy. They never keep a close count, so sometimes it’s two for mommy.

I don’t spend a lot of time trying to be perfect. I’m a pretty girl, a good cook, a doting wife and regardless of my prior confessions, I think I’m a great mom. My kids are well fed and well loved. They have average intelligence and above average contentment (though that could be the sugar, which yes, they do receive as a treat).

I’m not quite certain what motivated me to write this post. Perhaps it’s this February blahs thing, festering until the last possible moment. Or maybe I’m just outing myself – behind the shiny pictures, must-try recipes and brand spanking new products (which I’m not gonna lie, arrive by the truckload every day) life goes on and life is hard. Parenting is hard.

I also won’t go on record saying I’m a “real” mom. WTH? Every mom is a real mom, regardless if they fit your definition or drink your brand of Kool Aid. There is no such thing as an “unreal” mom, unless you count those chicks on soap operas who fake a pregnancy and then steal someone’s baby by performing a c-section in a living room/dive bar/side of the road. They’re fake moms.

I’m an imperfect mom. And I’m okay with it. And when I’m not, there’s wine.

The Apple, The Tree, and The OCD

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File this under: I can’t believe I’m writing this and you probably won’t believe me anyways.

But what the hey, here goes.

I have a touch of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I say “a touch” because for the most part, my obsessions (anxiety) and compulsions (rituals) don’t interfere with my daily activities or hinder my life in a significant way. Yes, I believe in “safe” numbers and have been known to scrub my hands a little too often… with a little too much soap. However, if I had to sum it up in 10 words or less, I’d say I’m a quasi-germophobe with low levels of paranoia and repetition.

And here’s a fact that likely borders on too much information but you’ll understand the relevancy later: I have NEVER used a public restroom for #2.

Noooo way. No way no way no way. My OCD will just not allow it, dammit.

Before you think, “Really? Never? How is that possible?” You should know that I’m the most regular person on the planet, and when I’m not, let’s just say I can hold it. Because there’s absolutely freakin’ way I’d ever linger on public toilet for longer than say… 12 seconds or so.

Okay, enough about me. Just call me the tree.

Time for another fact. Ready for this? Deep breath.

I have NEVER changed a diaper in public. Never. I don’t even know why I own a diaper bag. It’s all for show. I’m a fraud. I have no idea what a Koala change station looks like. I don’t want to know.

Which brings me to my two apples, Ryder and Reid. They have never pooped in public, either. Ryder, at almost 4 years old, has never troubled me to change a stinky diaper unless it’s in the comfort of our home, and now that he’s toilet trained, won’t even think about using a public restroom. Reid, at almost two, has followed in his big brother’s footsteps – not once soiling his little diaper in the public eye. Most people would say I’m extremely fortunate, but I’m extremely worried… Could Ryder and Reid have inherited my OCD?

Now please don’t go thinking that I somehow pushed my own germaphobic tendencies on my boys. Babies do exactly three things: eat, sleep and poop. And if I could somehow wave a magic wand and train babies to only poop when it’s convenient for parents, I’d be the Jedi Master of diaper changes. And yet, my boys do exactly that.

Therefore I can only assume that since it’s not a trained behaviour, it’s an inherited one. Does Ryder think public restrooms are gross? Does Reid realize the social faux pas of popping your pants among strangers? Do they have an aversion to germs and germ-infested environments? It’s just SO WEIRD.

I would love if someone could please shed light on this little situation I call The Apple, The Tree and The OCD.

It’ Snot Fun, Said the Sickie

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Mmmkay, you knew this one was coming…

Top 10 Reasons Why Taking Care of Sick Children – When You’re Sick Too – Sucks:

10. The phrase “Shut Up and Leave Me Alone” pops into your head every 12 seconds.
9. You’re so busy/tired/dejected you forget to eat. And then you heat up canned soup at 9:30pm.
8. Enduring hours of Treehouse TV – enough to make you nauseous even when you’re healthy.
7. Having snot run down your face while you’re busy wiping your kid’s.
6. Staying up all night with one sick child and all day with the other.
5. Hearing your husband say “Poor Baby” while he’s sipping his Venti Macchiato at work. #ihateyou
4. Doling out “Bless You”, “Don’t Wipe Your Nose on Your Sleeve” and “You Feel a Bit Warm”. Repeat.
3. The incredible urge to lock yourself in your room and assume the fetal position.
2. Hearing your husband say “So I’ll be home late today…”
1. Realizing that you’re the mom. Ain’t no one bailing you out of this one.

Miss Manners Be Damned: Be Card Smart

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I originally published this post in August 2010, but with Christmas (yes – I call it CHRISTMAS, not “the holidays”) just around the corner, I thought it would be a great time to once again mull over The Case of the Great Gift Card Giver.

To some, gift cards are not gifts. I’ll never forget this article I came across on MSN Money a few years back, where the author bashed those who dared to dole out plastic presents:

“A gift, ideally, says, ‘I thought about you. I considered your likes and dislikes, your needs and wants, your dreams and desires, and found you this token of my esteem that I hope will delight you.’

A gift card says, ‘There! Checked you off my list.'”

She even went on to quote the esteemed Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners), stating that gift cards are “a pathetic compromise that is convenient to people who do not trust their judgment about selecting the right present for those whose tastes they ought to know.”

I couldn’t disagree more.

Unless you’re 14 years old and know the absolute contents of your best friend’s locker, bedroom and closet, chances are it may be tricky to find the perfect gift. Sure, I know that my brother likes to draw, but if you’ve ever ventured into DeSerres, you’ll know that their “Fine Arts” section is four aisles across and boasts over 460 drawing tools alone.

Gift card, please….

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Someone, Somewhere…

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Last night, it took me a good two hours to fall asleep. In between staying up with Ryder (his tummy has been funny lately and therefore he’s been a bit clingy), trying to finally wean Reid (today is his 15-month birthday, translation: get off my freakin’ boob) and sorting through all the posts and commitments I have coming up, I was literally staring straight ahead for what felt like an eternity.

So I began to play the simple game I always play – a little time-filler I invented years ago while coping with a broken heart. It’s called “Someone, Somewhere…” and I begin by defining my feelings at that exact moment in time. For example, I may think:

“I’m so tired of shouting at the boys. Why can’t they just behave.” And then the little game begins… and I let my imagination run free.”Someone, somewhere is throwing up her hands in defeat.”
“Someone, somewhere took a positive pregnancy test and is screaming for joy.”
“Someone, somewhere just learned his petition to adopt was denied.”
“Someone, somewhere just reunited with an estranged child.”
“Someone, somewhere is holding her baby for the first time.”
“Someone, somewhere is kissing her child goodnight.”
“Someone, somewhere just lost custody of his children.”
“Someone, somewhere watched her baby take his last breath.”Because that’s the way the world works, right? No matter what you’re doing, or feeling, at any moment in time, someone… somewhere in the world is either going through the exact same thing – or has it much better or worse. And I find it really helps put things in perspective for me; it allows me to feel connected to a lone stranger out there who’s on the same page; gives me hope that things will turn around; or it helps me look on the positive side knowing that it could be so, so much worse. Someone, somewhere thinks that I’ve got a wonderful life.

And for the moment… Someone, somewhere is lying on a beach. Sigh… one day.

What is your Someone, Somewhere…?

A BlogHer ’11 Tale

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Sigh. Finally a moment to sit back and reflect on my BlogHer ’11 experience. By now, you’ve likely come across many tales from other fabulous bloggers, but I’d like to share my thoughts as well as have something to add to my pile of memorabilia.

(My travel buddies for the trip were Tammi from My Organized Chaos and Farah from Faces by Farah, so you’ll likely see their lovely faces in a lot of my photos from the trip. And, many of the photo credits go to Tammi – such a wonderful shutterbug!)

Getting there was a whirlwind. With a golden ticket from Ford and less than two weeks to wrap my head around the fact that I was actually going to BlogHer, I had suitcases to pack, babysitters to arrange (thanks husband!) and babies to wean. (Turns out that Reid was just fine while I was gone – but literally jumped on my boob the second I walked through the door. Huh.)

THE BEAUTIFUL DOWNTOWN SAN DIEGO
PALM TREE LINED STREETS

Although the conference took place on Friday and Saturday, I was crossing my fingers that I’d touch down in time for Mom Central’s Canadian Embassy Party on Thursday night. Turns out I had plenty of time to arrive at the hotel, relax and shower before clinking wine glasses with wonderful Canadian bloggers and friends. Putting a face to many of the bloggers I had chatted with online was so enriching! And, the @MC_Canada ladies were beyond wonderful as always – they continually inspire, teach and support moms and blogging in Canada. Fan 4 Life.

On Friday morning, a pulse check with the Ford ladies during breakfast at the Hard Rock Hotel. Ford put together one classy group of social media-minded gals; I was looking forward to getting to know them all over the next few days. Our little group included Donna Marie Antoniadis ~ ShesConnected, Erica Ehm ~ The Yummy Mummy Club, Raymi ~ Raymi the Minx, Shannon ~ Zchamu, Tenille ~ Feisty Frugal and Fabulous, Sarah of Get Mommy Some Gin and Dee ~ Cocktail Deeva.  Friday also saw the first day of the conference and me popping in and out of the conference hall, taking in the bits and pieces of all BlogHer has to offer. Much time was spent in the famed expo hall, where I chatted with brands and of course, snagged a ton of swag. Thankfully, I was very selective with my freebies (read: too cheap to pay excess baggage fees) so I whittled down the loot to mainly toys, makeup and chocolate. Lots of chocolate.Many of the booths offered photo ops – too good to pass up when you’re hanging with two gorgeous babes!

Friday night was the much-anticipated yet socially-taboo Softcup party. Anticipated because it was held on a rooftop patio and promised appearances by Mario Lopez, Ryan Cabrera and Amanda Beard; socially-taboo because it was sponsored by a tampon alternative. Regardless, the fun ride via pedi-cab, yummy apps and Cake Vodka shots made it easy to attend and enjoy a party put on by menstrualogists. Bonus: had a chance to hang with the gorgeous Stephanie from Sassy Modern Mom and the equally adorable (and mummy-to-be!) Shelagh from Practical Mum.We then hightailed it to the Cheap Sally party at Stingaree. With a reputation as being San Diego’s best nightclub, noticeably absent were the caged go-go dancers. But I digress; there were jars filled with Rockets (or “Smarties” as they’re known in the US), a Gordon Ramsey cooking display complete with cushions emblazoned with his gorgeous face (managed to snatch one of those!) and a continuing parade of martinis, kobo beef sliders, party goers and party anthems.

A quick pop into the Sparklecorn party was a bit of a letdown; most of the attendees were already sobering up and a quick walk around the room had us running back to the hotel to turn in.

Saturday was a repeat of Friday – dabbling here and there in the seminars and sponsor exhibits, in addition to meeting with friends, bloggers and brands. I was dying to indulge in authentic San Diego fish tacos, so off we trotted to a local Mexican bar/resto for lunch. Yum!

Saturday night; another Ford reunion at Tabule restaurant. On the menu for moi:Shared Starters:

Shrimp and Crab Portobello
Lettuce Duck Wraps
Thai Baby Back Ribs
Mesquite Smoked Ahi Tuna Tacos
Salmon CevicheEntrée:
Lobster Ravioli

Do I really need to say any more? We finished the night partying at CheeseburgHer, where yes, bloggers do wear McD’s bags on their head (I didn’t) and help themselves to a buffet of (wait for it)… cheeseburgers… all night. There was much tootsierolling on the dance floor (you’re welcome Farah) and after shaking our money maker to some old school R&B, it was time to turn in.

At the Ford Family Picnic on Sunday, I had the awesome opportunity to learn about Ford’s Focus on Safety, test drive the peppy Focus (with Donna from She’s Connected playing navigator and Rose – Ford Canada’s rep – describing features and benefits from the back seat). And, we enjoyed the most drool-worthy BBQ at the South Embarcadero Marine Park which was literally right on the water. Bliss.

Donna and Rose weren’t just awesome driving buddies; they later proved to be even better shopping partners as we booted it to Fashion Valley Mall, Nordstrom Rack and Target. When I finally strolled in at 10:00pm that night, it hit me that I hadn’t yet packed and had a 6:00am flight the next morning, necessitating a 3:30am wake up call. Needless to say I got my sh*t together in a hurry so I could hit the hay! The flight home was unremarkable and I literally wept with joy when I saw the faces of my two sweet boys waiting for me at the airport.

Next year BlogHer ’12 is back in NYC – who’s coming with? xo
FARAH AND I, ON OUR WAY TO MOM CENTRAL’S SOIRÉE
I AM 100% CRUSHING ON SARAH @MC
THE LOVELY AND ICONIC ERICA EHM
THE GLORIOUS MARIOTT CONVENTION CENTER
EXPO HALL, BRIMMING WITH BLOGGERS
BUILDING UP MY STREET CRED ON THE SESAME STREET STOOP
PHOTO OPS WITH BLOGGERS AND VAMPIRES
IN OUR PEDI-CAB, READY TO PARTY
THE BEAUTIFUL STEPHANIE AND SHELAGH
GROUP SHOT WITH MR. DIMPLES
GORGEOUS ROSE AT THE FORD FAMILY PICNIC
THE SUPER SAFETY FEATURES: INFLATABLE SEAT BELTS
TAKE ME!
PRO ACTIV VENDING MACHINE? SERIOUSLY?

BlogHer ’11- Here I Am!

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Hey Fabulous Readers!

I’m writing this post on Thursday morning, somewhere over Wichita, Kansas. My final destination? San Diego, California. Yes, I’m headed to BlogHer ’11!

As the last week has been somewhat of a whirlwind, I haven’t had the chance to sit down and let y’all know about my excellent adventure ahead. Well, 5 hours on a plane gives a gal a lot of time to blog!

It all started about two weeks ago, when I was contacted by Ford Canada and asked if I’d like to attend the biggest blogger conference in the world – as their guest.

Gee, would I like to decant champagne into my water bottle? Of course!

So between wrapping up my Summer Beauty & Fashion Guide, making the necessary travel arrangements and mentally preparing myself for the conference, I’ve been *slightly* less than organized.

(Read: one hot mess.)

But it’s all good! I made it! I’m on my way! And with any luck, my luggage will make it too!

Tonight I’m donning my LBD for the incredibly swank Mom Central Canadian Embassy Party, and after that, it’s two days filled with meeting, mingling and much too much partying.

On Sunday, I’ll be test driving some of Ford’s best selling vehicles at the Ford Family Picnic. Think I can convince them to do a review and giveaway?

Until then, you may see sporadic posts, based solely upon my level of sobriety/ insomnia/ availability/ etc. But for the most part, I’ve decided to take a bloggy break until I return next week.

Hope y’all have a truly awesome weekend, and we’ll chat soon! Hugs!

Blogging Just to Blog

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Stop the presses! Could this actually be a post with no review or giveaway attached? Why YES, indeed it is!

As much as I love reviewing products and offering my awesome readers a chance to win, I’ve missed just jotting down my thoughts, rants, etc. So I decided to take an afternoon to just be Lena, and chat about some of the things that have been on my mind. Here we go:

1. I’m sick of summer. I know, I’m opening myself up to boos, hisses and strategically placed middle fingers when I say this, but the truth is, I.CAN’T.BREATHE. It’s so freakin’ hot! Every day seems to have a humidex value in the mid-thirties, and even with sun protection, I am burning to a crisp. Another little victim is poor Ryder – he’s been having massive nosebleeds on a daily basis that our pediatrician has attributed to the constant heat. I’m done with this season! “Paging: September.”

2. I just opened the fridge and was confronted with two 2L bottles: one was Coke Zero, the other, Coca-Cola. Even though the junk in my trunk dictates I should have reached for the Coke Zero, I decided to have just a sip or two of the real thing. When I twisted off the cap, a swirl of cold condensation looped out of the bottle, just like you see on TV. Diagnosis: delicious. 

RANDOM PIC: ISN’T REID A DOLL?

3. How many of y’all keep a pack of chewing gum in your car? I used to all the time, until I noticed a warning on my pack of Excel: “Do not expose to extreme heat.” With the temperature today comparable to hell itself, I would suggest yanking gum, plastic bottles and other perishable goods (obviously) out of your automobile. There’s some evidence (myth? fact?) that when aspartame is heated, it releases a toxic chemical. Not sure if it’s an urban legend, but if Wrigley Canada doesn’t want to take chances, neither should we.

4. How come you can’t tickle yourself? Not that I spend copious amounts of time trying to get in cheap laughs, but I do tickle the boys – a lot – and the other day, Ryder said “Mommy tickle you.” So then I had to tickle myself and fake ridiculous laughter for two minutes. (Not that women know about faking things…) But seriously, why can’t you tickle yourself? Perhaps tickling belongs in the same camp as massages – someone else needs to do it to work.

RANDOM PICS: RYDER’S NEW SMILE.
THERE GOES HIS MODELLING CAREER.
SERIOUSLY, WTH?
5. I need a recommendation for a good frizz-fighting product. I’m just about to put L’Oréal’s Frizz Taming Creme Serum to the test, but let’s just say my hopes aren’t high. I’ve yet to find a product that can counteract Treasure Troll hair. I have my hair trimmed regularly, use a quality deep conditioner, and always spritz a leave-in with SPF when I’m in the sun for long periods of time. Still, fuzz city. Seriously, any reco’s?

That was a nice break! Now back to the Beauty Event! xo

The Sights, Sounds and Smells of Summer

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Ah… blogging just to blog. After an obligatory run of giveaways (more to come) it feels nice to just unwind with a chillin’ post. Which brings me to the title: The Sights, Sounds and Smells of Summer.

Last week, the whole family went out for a late afternoon stroll. Pulling the little guys in their wagon, we traipsed through the neighbourhood, basking in the warm summer day. As we turned on to a parallel street, I heard the faint sound of ethnic music drifting through an open window. Immediately, I was filled with nostalgia… but couldn’t nail down the exact memory.

We continued down the block, and within moments I felt yet another throwback to my youth: the pungent scent of Middle Eastern food wafting through a screen door.

And then it hit me: air conditioning killed the sights, sounds and smells of summer.

I began thinking back to my childhood; of my neighbours, who always had every window open and a constant stream of Portuguese folk songs bellowing a happy tune. Of the college kid around the corner who spent all summer in his open garage, working on his motorcycle (I may have had a tiny crush). I remembered the elderly lady across the street, who unfailingly greeted Saturday morning with a spicy curry you could smell for miles. And of people – friends, strangers, children of all ages – lounging on their balconies or the front porch. Kids circling the driveway on bicycles, skipping with one end of the rope tied to a railing. And all just to catch a hint of cool breeze… because the thought of staying in a sticky, hot, sweltering house was just not an option.

But that day, walking down that street… you’d think every single home was unoccupied. Doors and windows closed tight, not allowing one inch of precious bought-air to escape. The eerie quiet of citizens locked inside, with only the hum of air conditioners heard every few paces. The sun beating down on the back of my neck was the only factor that tied my childhood to the present.

How I miss the sights, sounds and smells of summer. Almost as much as I miss that green, polka dot romper.

Reno-cation: Ryder’s Room

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Ta-da! I’m finally ready to start posting photos of my recent Reno-cation! I’ve decided to literally go from room to room – divulging details on what steps were taken, items I love, and where you can grab ’em. Then, don’t forget to tune in next month, when you’ll have a chance to win some of the goodies!

Disclaimer: The rooms aren’t “finished”, per se. There are instances where I’d like to change a piece of furniture, add a new picture or photo frame, or eliminate a style element… but don’t have the time or finances to do so at the moment. However, on the whole I’m very pleased with the small changes we’ve made, and am happy to present you with our recent mini-makeovers.

BEFORE

Since we’ve got four bedrooms and only two children, we have the benefit of having a home office upstairs. Pretty crucial when there’s a blogger in the house! Until recently, we used what the builder termed “Bedroom 4” as our study – its quite large and spacious, and we were able to create a work space, an area for me to scrapbook (a now defunct hobby – there’s just no time!) plus more than enough room for the kids to hang out so I can keep an eye on them. Trouble is, with Ryder growing and requiring more space for his personal effects, we felt it was time to move him into a “big boy’s room”. Before the move, he was in the bedroom beside our own, so having him relocate to the other side of the house has actually been tougher on mommy than him!

Ahem, did I mention that the room needed a healthy dose of spring cleaning? The closet was packed with literally every form of paper junk imaginable – wrapping paper, books, notepads, stickers, etc. etc. Here’s a shot of the room from the opposite angle, deep into the purge:

As you can see, the garbage bag was FULL. See the blue storage bin full of books on the left? All chick lit, my friends. Time to put the works of Sophie Kinsella to sleep.

AFTER

Ryder’s new bedroom…

Paint:

PARA Paints Picturesque Port, #P5011-24

Wall Decor:

Adzif “Ludo Tells a Story” and “Hip Hop” decals, purchased from DeSerres
Framed photos – DIY project I whipped together, displayed in NEXXT Suspense Frames
“LACK” wall shelf, purchased from IKEA

Furniture:

Denali, purchased from The Baby’s Palace

NOTES

I wanted Ryder’s room to be a happy, carefree place that would make him smile. His bright blue room is a far cry from the paint swatches I first considered – muted, mellow and “meh” colours. Somewhere along the way I decided to abandon what others would like… and paint for what Ryder would like! Great news – he LOVES his new room, and says goodnight to the Ludo sticker every night!

The furniture certainly doesn’t fill the room, but once Reid outgrows his crib, it will convert to a double bed which will be Ryder’s to enjoy (Reid will inherit the toddler bed pictured above). So in a few short months, what looks like a huge bedroom will actually be balanced a little more effectively with the right mix of furniture.

PARA Paints generously provided the paint for my entire home, and let me just say that I couldn’t be happier with the selection of colours and finishes. My father-in-law, who is a professional painter, commented that the paint (PARA’s Ultra latex interior) provided superior coverage with mess-free application. More on PARA Paints to come!

One room down, lots more to go! Stay tuned…

Reno-cation: The Great Room

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Thanks to everyone who left such wonderful feedback on Ryder’s Reno-cated room. I feel a surge of happiness every time I hear him say, “I like my new room! It’s blue!”

Now the logical thing would be to show off the next bedroom in sequence, BUT, because I have two little boys, and because taking pictures is dependent on which area of the home is tidy at the moment, let’s skip to my main floor – where I’d like to introduce you to my new “Great Room”.

Here’s the scoop: when we first purchased our home, we spent hours going over the floor plan, considering how to set up our domain. The builder had laid out the main floor as depicted on the right (note: foyer, powder room and garage not pictured). So without going against the proposed plan, we proceeded to set up four (4) distinct areas: a family room at the back of the house and a combined living/ dining/ entertainment area in the front of the house.Just in case you’re wondering… all the furniture was purchased literally weeks before I found out I was pregnant with Ryder (who was a most welcome surprise)… so brace yourself – you’ll see a lot of light-coloured furniture that is so telling of a couple who hasn’t considered the joys of sticky fingers and grape juice.


Now having a home that is almost completely an open concept is both awesome and frustrating; awesome because the house looks large and modern – frustrating because all the furniture and décor has to complement each other and lend to a continuous “look”.

Well, this July it will be four years in our home, and we finally came to realize that we spend exactly 99.9% of our time holed up at the back of the house in the family room, and 0.1% of our days in the blended living/dining/entertainment area. Which is all the more tragic considering what a colossal waste of space it is!So I finally decided to do something about it. Instead of having three separate “rooms” upon entering our home, I relocated hubby’s bar to the basement, moved our dining furniture into the family room, and turned the front of the house into a Great Room – which is a much more intelligent use of space. Since the area is quite large, let’s do the “Before” pictures in comparison to the “After” shots one room at a time. You may click to enlarge photos.

BEFORE/AFTER
BEFORE – LIVING ROOM
AFTER – TV AREA
BEFORE – DINING ROOM
AFTER – GREAT ROOM
BEFORE – BAR AREA
AFTER – STILL THE GREAT ROOM!

Paint: 

PARA Paints Nature’s Bounty, #P5227-24

NOTES

We love our new Great Room! And, we’re finally enjoying the awesome space in our home! I didn’t include pictures of the family-room-turned-dining-room because I’ll be posting about that separately later this week.

Re: our paint colour choice, since all the rooms mesh together… plus all the way up the stairs and through the upper hallway (did I mention we have an open concept? sheesh) we couldn’t really afford to go too crazy. I chose a very safe mix between beige and taupe… but you’d be amazed at how different the colour looks in different lights! In natural light, it’s downright taupe; with our lighting at night (which has a strong golden hue) the paint tends to look almost a pale yellow (as in the photos above). Regardless, it’s the perfect colour to set off our dark furniture and hardwood, and blends seamlessly with our green kitchen (yes green – but trust me, it’s a nice green).

The sectional was purchase from The Brick several moons ago but in our new room, we feel it takes on a contemporary (but timeless) look.

I also wanted to point out this neat little gadget we picked up at Home Depot: since we live in a semi, it was virtually impossible to fish the wires through the concrete once we mounted our TV. So instead of leaving the wires hanging (yuck!) we found this nifty Flat Screen TV Cord Cover Kit to hide the unsightly cables. A bonus: it can be painted to blend with your wall!

More Reno-cation wrap up to come!

Reno-cation: Master Bedroom

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My Reno-cation wrap up continues!

On to one of my favourite rooms – our master bedroom. My husband had just one teeny request: make it resemble a guest suite in Chicago’s W Hotel, where we had stayed during our engagement. Easy peasy, right? Ha!

Well, thankfully I had a few things going for me –

a) A spacious master bedroom
b) A cream couch without a home since we merged our living and dining rooms
c) The desire to add a touch of modern elegance to an otherwise boring bedroom

(Unfortunately, no mini bar.)

Aside from my beloved Urban Barn “Yoshi” bedroom set, my “before” look was sadly lacking inspiration.

BEFORE

Choosing a paint colour for the room was simple – I had my heart set on a smoky purple. It had to have just enough lavender to be pretty, but with a healthy dose of grey for an edginess that hints at contemporary styling. In other words, very W Hotel. 

It took literally seconds for me to settle on Big Shot, #P5195-44. I’ve attached the paint chip here because I only had a chance to take pictures at night – and my camera’s flash pulled out too much gray from the walls, making it very hard to decipher the true colour. Now isn’t that the perfect smoky purple? It’s like PARA created it just for me!

And…ta da! (You may click photos to enlarge)

AFTER

NOTES

After Ryder had his little tumble off our bed, I decided to relocate the night tables for the time being – and was pleasantly surprised to see how well they work as side tables. The location of the sofa is perfect for lounging with a good book (and late morning sun), and is also practical for watching the tube (though we definitely prefer reclining on the bed to catch our favourite TV shows).

To complement the green in my duvet cover I purchased fairly cheap lamps from Bouclairin a jazzy shade of fern green – but once in the room, they suddenly took on a very chic and contemporary feel. Shh… don’t say a word, but they were just under $15 each (they still appear on the website as $44.99 each but were definitely marked down in-store).I bought the abstract picture of New York City, also from Urban Barn, some time ago… but could never find the right home for it. Now, I’m so pleased with the way the wall colour sets off the vivid strokes in the painting. Perhaps New York W instead?

All in all, we’re pretty much in love with our new bedroom. Although it may look a tad cool and impersonal, did I mention that we have the cuddliest duvet in the entire world? Lots of snuggle time!

Just a few more rooms to go! Next up on my Reno-cation wrap up… it’s Reid’s room!

Reno-cation: The Study

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I like to call this room “Listen to Lena! Control Central“.

It’s my home office: the place where ideas take shape, blog posts are written, and bills are paid. I also spend a lot of time on UsMagazine.com.

Having an upstairs study is my favourite use of a spare bedroom. I can stay close by while the boys are napping, and since I like to be cozy at all times, it sure beats hunkering down in the basement. Plus, I’m an authentic daydreamer, so having a window to gaze out of is a definite bonus ;)

Our previous study was located in one of the bigger bedrooms over the garage; it has seen been transformed to Ryder’s bedroom. We had originally chosen a large room because I also needed an area for scrapbooking (a now defunct hobby). One we scaled back and organized ourselves a bit, I realized that our new office would be perfected suited to “Bedroom #3” – Ryder’s old play room.

Peeling off the colourful stickers and saying goodbye to the paint – a bright yellow called “Tigger’s Tummy” – was definitely hard. Ryder had some good times in his little room! But as we’ve since finished our basement, and he’s now got a little playmate to run around with, Ryder was anyways spending less and less time in the play room.

BEFORE

As I sit in my new office and type this post, I’m hit with a wave of nostalgia for that little boy who zipped around this room, throwing his toys everywhere. FYI – before removing the green mirror pictured above, we noticed that Ryder is now at eye level with the top of the frame. Crazy!

 

AFTER

 

Paint:
PARA Paints, Swim Trunks #P5158-34

NOTES



My husband picked the colour in this room – he had a clear notion of what an “office” should look like. Therefore we went for a very unflashy bluish grey. I’ve once again attached a paint chip as my camera has pulled mostly grey off the walls, whereas in person, I actually see more blue than grey.

We relocated the floral painting which you may remember originally hung over our bed to inject some friendliness into an otherwise crisp room. I reserved the opposite wall for my mammoth whiteboard, which aims to keep me (somewhat) organized. (Sorry! Had to airbrush over the upcoming giveaways as I don’t want to spoil the surprise!)

With the addition of my two beloved HP printers (the B8350 prints on sheets up to 12×12″ – a must for scrapbookers) and the eStation (review to follow!)… plus my desktop and laptop… I LOVE my new office!

Reno-cation: Dining Room

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I mentioned yesterday that Reid’s room would be coming up next, but last night, I had a clean dining room (which goes against nature when you’ve got babies) so I decided to take the opportunity to post a few photos.

Who says you need to play by the builder’s rules? We raged against the blue print and created a space that works for our family. Yes, it’s the old switcharoo!

Carrying on the theme of Nature’s Bounty from the rest of the main floor, the room designed by the builder to be a family room is now in fact my dining room.

BEFORE

You’ll remember from a previous photo that my dining room used to be squeezed into the front area of the house. In this spot, it seldom saw use (we opted to eat at the kitchen table instead) and was just another fixture to dust.

Here is our previous family room setup –

Even though I enjoyed having the family room so close to the kitchen, I find I do a lot less snacking now that my fridge is no longer in view of my couch!

AFTER 

NOTES

As you can see, just a little bit of paint does wonders to bring out the deco detailing in the chairs. I can’t deny that it’s nice to have such an airy, open space for dining… a bonus: we eat dinner at this table every night now!

To give the dining room a less formal feel, and to keep me entertained while I cook, we tucked a 32-inch TV into the corner opposite the fireplace.

So, not a crazy renovation, but one that suits our home and lifestyle. That just about finishes my wrap up on the first floor… except for the kitchen, where I made one small (but pretty awesome) change. You won’t want to miss it – review to come!

Reno-cation: Main Bathroom

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My Reno-cation wrap up continues with my main bathroom. This was perhaps one of the hardest rooms to makeover, specifically because:

a) It was orange before. Yes, orange. Like a bright, happy, Home Depot orange.
b) I liked it orange.
c) No one else liked it orange.

BEFORE

Now I’m not exactly sure what drove me to paint the main bathroom in such a vibrant shade, but it just screamed “Lena!”. For contrast, I used stripes and circles in blue, green and white.

(In case you’re wondering, that’s a storage case filled with beauty products to review. I don’t actually own that much makeup!)

Alas, there was no middle road for this bathroom – visitors either loved it or hated it (curiously, those who vehemently disliked it were generally born before 1960. Just sayin’.) So when it came time for a reno-cation, I grudgingly agreed that it would be best to grab a more bathroomy colour from PARA Paints. A soothing mint green, anyone?

AFTER

 

Paint:
PARA Paints Big Girls Don’t Cry, #P5031-24

NOTES

Here’s another shade that can look slightly off in different lights. As you can see, the candlelight in the first shot makes the room look more bluish than green, but the second picture depicts what I believe to be the true colour – mint, pistachio, seafoam… whatever tickles your fancy. I picked up black Umbra accessories from Kitchen Stuff Plus (use this coupon to save 25% off one item until May 31st) and hung a framed photo depicting the vineyards of Sonoma, California.

(Hubby was watching an episode of The Nate Berkus Show where he insisted that your home decor should incorporate your most vibrant memories – hence a picture of our honeymoon destination beside the toilet, where I spent three months throwing up thanks to the honeymoon baby.)

I’m also pretty excited about my new shower curtain. Purchased from Sears during their recent White Sale, it features a gorgeous black and sateen silver damask pattern. It pairs perfectly with the milkiness of the light green, and as I’d been lusting after it for ages, I just couldn’t resist. Word on the street is that there are coordinating bath mats too… perhaps I’ll let my Visa take a breather before I explore that option ;)

Only a few rooms to go!

Vodka Pasta, Blogging and the Dr.Oz Show

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*EDIT* It’s confirmed! My salute to Rachael Ray via The Dr.Oz Show will air on Monday, May 9th. Check your local listings… and cross your fingers for me! I’m hoping to have at least 3 seconds of face time, ha!

You may be wondering… what do those three things have in common?

I’ll rewind. A few weeks ago, I posted a recipe for Rachael Ray’s “You Won’t Be Single for Long” Vodka Pasta. Yes, I made this pasta for my man while we were dating… and yes, he put a ring on it.

I shared the recipe for all the single ladies out there, with hopes that you too could knock a man off his feet with your obvious culinary skills. Well, no one was more surprised than me when I received an e-mail from the producers of the Dr.Oz Show shortly after. They had seen my post and wanted to know if I’d like to appear on the show alongside Rachael Ray… who’d show my husband and I how to make an updated, healthier version of her famous recipe.

YES! I’M SERIOUS!!!

Well, this past week we were dealing with a few family issues (Ryder, being a boy, took a little tumble that required ongoing medical attention) so we had to take a pass on making an appearance. BUT, the producers did ask us to record a home video giving a shout out to Rachael, and telling the world how the pasta helped me reel in my hubby! We sent the video in on Thursday and our fingers are crossed the producers like what they see.

Now, if y’all recall, the last time I was filmed for the Rachael Ray show, after a ton of editing, I believe only my hand made it to the final cut… so I’m not calling an agent just yet. Hopefully this time I’ll get some face time – that would be sweet!

I’ll keep you posted on when the segment airs! Wish me luck!