Listen to Lena

Perfecting the Art of Conversuasion

relationships

Love At First Click?

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There are a few things in life I’m not afraid to admit:

1) I have an irrational fear of spiders, heights and parallel parking.
2) I often hide in my closet to eat a piece of chocolate, because I don’t want to share with the kids.
3) I met my husband through an online dating site.

YES! It’s true – after being unceremoniously dumped by a former boyfriend who just didn’t want to commit, I decided that rather than spend my weekends getting dolled up for a dance club, I’d rather nurse my broken heart with pizza and Star Wars. Unfortunately, after about 3-4 weekends on the Domino’s diet, I was no further ahead on the romantic front – but about 6 pounds ahead on the scale. Hence, I decided to give online dating a shot.

I asked my brother to take a picture of me in my mom’s bedroom (she had nicer furniture), spent much time creating a witty profile, and proceeded to try to find my Prince Charming via the scary world of online dating, also known as Lavalife. Of course, that was seven years ago, when it was still considered somewhat taboo to meet a stranger online. Today, with social media connecting people all over the world, chances are that you have more online friends than IRL (in real life) ones.

(In the end, I chose the picture on the right as my profile image. The picture is actually called “MeReallyClose.jpg” and I have no freaking clue why I would ever choose to show so much “face”. Ugh! And was I really wearing a brown corduroy blazer? Good grief.)

Now I’d known friends who had tried their luck with varying degrees of success; some had gone on several dates, one had nailed down a serious boyfriend, while others were still waiting for the right one to come along. I had absolutely no expectations, and was really just looking for another avenue to connect with guys. Preferably cute, emotionally-available guys with no commitment issues, of course. #notBitteratAll

So you can imagine my surprise when I fell head over heels for the very first guy I chatted with. He was funny, incredible sweet, and most importantly, did not set off my “weirdo radar”. We decided to meet for drinks – and I decided to accept his marriage proposal six months later :)
(In between our first meeting and his proposal was a ton of mushy, exceedingly romantic stuff that I have vague memories of. I sometimes try to return to that happy place when I am sleeping on the couch, as my husband snores away beside my two little guys who have hijacked my side of the bed.)

Today, one in five couples meet online. If you’re currently single, chances are that you have an active profile for at least one dating site. And I salute you! I happened to meet a pretty fabulous guy online, and with the right tools, finding love is only a click away.

Would you consider online dating? Have you tried it? Do share! 

“Ram”ming it in My Face

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It happens every year around this time. Which shouldn’t really surprise me, because people’s birthdays are usually celebrated on the same date year after year. Still, I get very surly and sour when I realize we have entered into that particular sign of the zodiac called ARIES.

Aries: The Ram
March 21st to April 20th

The Good: Enthusiastic and confident, dynamic and quick-witted.
The Bad:   Impulsive and impatient.
The Ugly:  Moody. Short tempered. Self-involved.

Now I truly have nothing against Ariens, per se, because I happen to share the sign! Yup, proud April baby over here. But I have prejudices just the same, and they happen to lie with with a whole bunch of people from my past – my exes, to be precise. ALL of my ex-boyfriends are Ariens. ALL of them.

It’s not like I chose men based purely on their astrological makeup; instead, it was purely a coincidence that I found myself attracted to the person first, and found out about their zodiac sign second. In fact, I didn’t even recognize a pattern until the third or fourth boyfriend – when I noticed that I was constantly buying cards and gifts in close proximity to my own birthday. After that, I made a conscious effort to uncover a guy’s sign from the start – and was floored to find out that I regularly seemed to gravitate towards energetic, confident, and impulsive men.

Or maybe it was the moody, impatient and self-involved traits I craved.

As one friend suggested, it’s possible that I just enjoyed seeking out others who shared the same qualities as me; a fellow member of the sign. Whatever the explanation, I’ve had five previous boyfriends, all Aries. I briefly dated two other men, also Ariens. And I think I may have had a drunken make-out session at some point… I’m not too clear on the details, but years later (through the magic of Facebook) I am very aware of one detail: he’s an Aries too.

And I suppose the common denominator here is that they’re all defective (trust me) in some way – or I’d still be with one of them, right? Perhaps the whole Aries-on-Aries cocktail does not mix well in my case.

So back to my surly mood. It’s “Ex-Boyfriend Birthday Season!” That’s right, folks – for the next few weeks, I’ll be constantly reminded of all my exes, thanks to my inability to forget “significant” dates. I took the liberty of posting their pictures and birthdays (in order of relationship) so you too can celebrate along with us:

Okay so that’s not really them, but I think I did a good job of capturing their likeness. A bonus: the conversation wasn’t awkward at all when my husband caught me customizing the pictures. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Just creating cartoons in the likeness of my ex-boyfriends,” I responded. (Three second pause.) “Okay. When’s dinner?”

By the way, in case you’re wondering, years ago I finally met a great guy who wasn’t an Aries. So I did the only logical thing: I married him.