File this under: I can’t believe I’m writing this and you probably won’t believe me anyways.
But what the hey, here goes.
I have a touch of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I say “a touch” because for the most part, my obsessions (anxiety) and compulsions (rituals) don’t interfere with my daily activities or hinder my life in a significant way. Yes, I believe in “safe” numbers and have been known to scrub my hands a little too often… with a little too much soap. However, if I had to sum it up in 10 words or less, I’d say I’m a quasi-germophobe with low levels of paranoia and repetition.
And here’s a fact that likely borders on too much information but you’ll understand the relevancy later: I have NEVER used a public restroom for #2.
Noooo way. No way no way no way. My OCD will just not allow it, dammit.
Before you think, “Really? Never? How is that possible?” You should know that I’m the most regular person on the planet, and when I’m not, let’s just say I can hold it. Because there’s absolutely freakin’ way I’d ever linger on public toilet for longer than say… 12 seconds or so.
Okay, enough about me. Just call me the tree.
Time for another fact. Ready for this? Deep breath.
I have NEVER changed a diaper in public. Never. I don’t even know why I own a diaper bag. It’s all for show. I’m a fraud. I have no idea what a Koala change station looks like. I don’t want to know.
Which brings me to my two apples, Ryder and Reid. They have never pooped in public, either. Ryder, at almost 4 years old, has never troubled me to change a stinky diaper unless it’s in the comfort of our home, and now that he’s toilet trained, won’t even think about using a public restroom. Reid, at almost two, has followed in his big brother’s footsteps – not once soiling his little diaper in the public eye. Most people would say I’m extremely fortunate, but I’m extremely worried… Could Ryder and Reid have inherited my OCD?
Now please don’t go thinking that I somehow pushed my own germaphobic tendencies on my boys. Babies do exactly three things: eat, sleep and poop. And if I could somehow wave a magic wand and train babies to only poop when it’s convenient for parents, I’d be the Jedi Master of diaper changes. And yet, my boys do exactly that.
Therefore I can only assume that since it’s not a trained behaviour, it’s an inherited one. Does Ryder think public restrooms are gross? Does Reid realize the social faux pas of popping your pants among strangers? Do they have an aversion to germs and germ-infested environments? It’s just SO WEIRD.
I would love if someone could please shed light on this little situation I call The Apple, The Tree and The OCD.