It happens every year around this time. Which shouldn’t really surprise me, because people’s birthdays are usually celebrated on the same date year after year. Still, I get very surly and sour when I realize we have entered into that particular sign of the zodiac called ARIES.
Aries: The Ram
March 21st to April 20th
The Good: Enthusiastic and confident, dynamic and quick-witted.
The Bad: Impulsive and impatient.
The Ugly: Moody. Short tempered. Self-involved.
Now I truly have nothing against Ariens, per se, because I happen to share the sign! Yup, proud April baby over here. But I have prejudices just the same, and they happen to lie with with a whole bunch of people from my past – my exes, to be precise. ALL of my ex-boyfriends are Ariens. ALL of them.
It’s not like I chose men based purely on their astrological makeup; instead, it was purely a coincidence that I found myself attracted to the person first, and found out about their zodiac sign second. In fact, I didn’t even recognize a pattern until the third or fourth boyfriend – when I noticed that I was constantly buying cards and gifts in close proximity to my own birthday. After that, I made a conscious effort to uncover a guy’s sign from the start – and was floored to find out that I regularly seemed to gravitate towards energetic, confident, and impulsive men.
Or maybe it was the moody, impatient and self-involved traits I craved.
As one friend suggested, it’s possible that I just enjoyed seeking out others who shared the same qualities as me; a fellow member of the sign. Whatever the explanation, I’ve had five previous boyfriends, all Aries. I briefly dated two other men, also Ariens. And I think I may have had a drunken make-out session at some point… I’m not too clear on the details, but years later (through the magic of Facebook) I am very aware of one detail: he’s an Aries too.
And I suppose the common denominator here is that they’re all defective (trust me) in some way – or I’d still be with one of them, right? Perhaps the whole Aries-on-Aries cocktail does not mix well in my case.
So back to my surly mood. It’s “Ex-Boyfriend Birthday Season!” That’s right, folks – for the next few weeks, I’ll be constantly reminded of all my exes, thanks to my inability to forget “significant” dates. I took the liberty of posting their pictures and birthdays (in order of relationship) so you too can celebrate along with us:
Okay so that’s not really them, but I think I did a good job of capturing their likeness. A bonus: the conversation wasn’t awkward at all when my husband caught me customizing the pictures. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Just creating cartoons in the likeness of my ex-boyfriends,” I responded. (Three second pause.) “Okay. When’s dinner?”
By the way, in case you’re wondering, years ago I finally met a great guy who wasn’t an Aries. So I did the only logical thing: I married him.
Lol I love the way your husband answered, I noticed that I’ve only dated Taurus and Leos, I’m a Leo so I’m not necessarily suppose to get along with Taurus’s but funny thing is my hubby now of 6 years is a Taurus and even though we butt heads every once in a while we manage to never leave things unresolved for over an hour.
Isn’t it funny how we’re told that some signs are compatible, and some aren’t? So happy to see you found love with someone against the astrological odds!
I’m an Aries (with Virgo ascendant) too, April 10th. :D
I don’t think I’ve ever dated another Aries (probably wanted to avoid someone like me) Sometimes I look at my partner who is a Pisces and wish that he was a little more impulsive but after reading this, I think I should be happy that he is just a little bit boring (no insult intended to other Pisces) so I don’t have to think about old boyfriends around my birthday :)
Well hello fellow Aries!!! And yes, I don’t think two Aries should EVER get together. There, I said it.
Hmmm, I can think of one that’s June 5 – Gemini ;)
Wanna make a cartoon for him? bwaaaa!!!
#laughingmyassoff
#FyouRoy!
I feel ya, sister. Totally understandable. I feel the same way when it’s Leo season. Ugh.
Oy… I’ll remember to send you a big hug in Leo season :)
OMG. Hilarious Lena! I always have astrological shorthands I came up with out of personal experience. ie: Cancers = Crybabies, Aquarius = Airheads and Aries = Assholes! I always avoided Aries and then bang. I ended up with one. Tim’s birthday is April 18! I gotta say…I think he might have been switched at birth or something because he’s the kindest person I’ve ever met. So very UN-ARIES like. I’m trying to figure out if that April 18 caricature you posted resembles him. LOL! Oh, and apologies to any Aries, Aquarian or Cancer babies out there. =)
Well, I AM an asshole, so I can’t argue with you there, LOL! And I am SO happy you ended up with an un-Aries. They are the best people ever!
LMAO!!!! I have a similar fate with Capricorns, and I ended up marrying one!!
Hahaha! See, it’s a pattern!
Your husband sounds like a keeper for sure!
Oh he is. For sure!
Way to go hubster! Sounds like you made the right choice in the end. You’re kids aren’t Aries by any chance, are they? loL!
Hehehe, nope, they’re both Taurus – and fight like cats and dogs!
Thanks my lovely wife!
You are welcome, my awesome husband :) xx
HAHA.
i am also an Aries. Now riddle me this, have you noticed that you are attracted to women that are also aries? When I am a a party, if I make a new best friend it will be an aries.
Hmmm… that is such an interesting observation! To tell the truth, I don’t think I know any Aries women, but I’ll keep that in mind from now on!
Funny post!
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it :)