I never thought of myself as the type of woman to have a BFF.
It’s quite obvious, actually; I covet my personal space, don’t mind being by myself for long periods of time and would much rather dance to the beat of my own drum. So the fact that I’ve been attached to the hip of my BFF for the last 18 months is somewhat puzzling to me – especially since it’s out of character for me to share so much with one individual.
Meet my BFF… my Breast Feeding Fanatic.
Reid will be 18 months old next week, and he’s still firmly attached to my boobies.
(That’s 1.5 years for those who don’t speak mom-ish; I know, we’re insufferable with our measurement of baby’s age by months, no?)
Please don’t assume I’m one of those women who believes exclusive breast milk is best until the child is 4 years old, because Reid does eat table food (he loves fruit and pasta) and drinks homo milk, juice and water. But, he also loves a good cuddle with mommy, and asks for breast milk about 10 times per day.
Of course, I don’t actually give in to his demands – allotting him only about 5 minutes at the breast a handful of times. But that doesn’t stop him from trying his luck; he normally gropes at my top whenever I’m too close for too long, and although Reid hasn’t mastered speech just yet, he can clearly articulate his desire for “Neh-Neh”. And sometimes I cave; it’s just the best way to calm him down from a tantrum, get him drowsy for a nap or keep him shushed while I talk on the telephone.
Trouble is, I’m not quite sure how to wean him. And I’m not quite certain I want to.
Truthfully, I’d love for him to sleep through the night without the expectation of a warm quickie to lull him back to sleep. And, I’d be even happier if I could be away for a day and not have rock-hard boobs by the end of it. But the simple fact is, I can’t imagine not pulling him onto my lap and bringing him in close; having his warm hand on my heart as he settles in to feed. I rather enjoy the one-on-one time with him, and feel the need to protect a bonding experience I’m not willing to give up just yet.
My continued relationship with my BFF is met with mixed reactions.
“Good for you. I breastfed my little one until she was two.”
“You know you need to stop, right? He’s old enough.”
“Are you still f%#king breast feeding???”
“That’s awesome. I plan on breast feeding for as long as possible.”
I’m not too concerned with what others say. Depending on my mood, I’ll wholeheartedly agree with them (“I know! I’m sick of it already! He needs to be weaned…”) or just shrug my shoulders and go about my day. I know that the decisions I make will be best for Reid and me, and it’s sometimes hard for onlookers – even friends and family – to appreciate that. But it’s not a big deal –
After all, nobody comes between a girl and her BFF.
It is moments like these where I am happy I hadn’t an option about weaning. My supply dried up around ten months. I always feel a small pang of guilt about not nursing longer. Could I have taken the domperidone (I think that is what it was called) longer, could I have ate more green foods, could I have gotten a coach? And then, I see the trouble women have with the weaning and I breath a sigh of relief that it was not a decision I had to make on my own. I wish you luck in whatever (whenever) you decide to do. Changing children’s patterns is never easy.
As I mom of two who didn’t nurse my first at all, I often wonder if guilt plays a part – that is, I didn’t nurse my first so I’m making it for it (and then some) with my second. But, I really do feel that breastfeeding just “fits” my lifestyle right now; I’m at home, the milk is readily available and I never have to send my husband out to buy more. But yes, I foresee a huge struggle ahead when it comes to weaning, and think you should consider yourself lucky :)
I’ll jump on the “Good for you” side. It’s hard work! I nursed my daughter until she was the same age but at 10 months I was back to work so I was pumping for about 6 months. Now that she’s 3, there is still no one that comes between me and my BFF!
Now THAT is commitment – pumping for 6 months. I love that you continued even though you returned to work. Nope, no one will ever come between you and your BFF!
I LOVE this post! I cherish the few weeks/months that I breastfed my boys. It didn’t last long with either of them but I can still remember the wonderful feeling in my heart. I still wish that I could have done it for a year (or more). This is a special time between you & Reid, and it’s hard to get that bonding time with an active toddler. You’re not harming yourself, Reid or the rest of your family, and only you know what’s right for your own children. Good for you for staying true to your BFF :)
“It’s hard to get that bonding time with an active toddler”… EXACTLY. Sometimes I feel the only time Reid slows down is to breast feed! So I do cherish the one-on-one time :)
I’m on the Good for You side too. There are so many women who can’t breastfeed or have to give it up before their ready. If your can breastfeed your baby he’s getting such valuable nutrition from you. Don’t listen to the naysayers.
Thanks Jen! Will do!
I nursed my last baby for 2 years and while I was mostly ready to stop by that point she wasn’t. It took a week long stay in the hospital where I was separated from her to wean. Not that I’d recommend it to anyone. Because I was so sick my milk just dried up and even when I came home I was too weak to give whatever was left. We had some tears and some rough days, but within a week or two she pretty much stopped asking and we replaced nursing with just cuddles and a book.
The others I weaned between 6 and 9 months.
Keep doing what feels right for you and Reid and PTHHHBBB to anyone else. Your baby, your choice! :) I think it’s a pretty awesome one though if you ask me.
Julia, thank you so much for sharing your experience, and for the sage advice. I’m sorry to hear that it took a hospital stay to dry up, but happy that nursing was replaced with cuddles!
I am tottaly on the good for you side. I was 16 when I had my daughter and I was determind to breastfeed. I was homeschooled so was able to be there for her after I recovered from birth and not alot of 16 year olds have alot of money for formula. Lets not forget how good it is for both mommy and baby. I exclusivley bf no paci bottle or finger even just bf, for about 3 months. My daughter was 10 lbs when she was born and ate about every hour to every thirty min. I was exahusted. So my family tried to convince me to bottle feed her and I would not do it, no one in my family besides my great grandmother had bf their children it was just a no no to personal. But by month 3 I went to work to afford what little I could and my mother never gave her the pumped milk bc she thought it starved her. She had her on formula and she stopped wanting me just refused to feed. It was heart breaking and I still feel bad about it and she is four years old. So I congradulate you, and you do it as long as your heart feel you need to.
Miranda, thanks so much for sharing your story – and I’m glad you tried your best to persevere even though you received little support from your family. I’m sure that you daughter is just fine today, and you can be proud knowing you gave it your all.
aww! our LO’s are nearly the same age. (C turned 18 months on the 30th). i still breastfeed but in the AM when he wakes up and then right before bed. he doesn’t seem to mind not having it in the day. my pediatrician said i get a gold star and i can stop but C still seems to want it so i’m letting HIM decide. i think baby led weaning is the way to go. good for you for not listening to the peanut gallery. i get the same reactions too.
sincerely,
your twin =)
That’s crazy – you are my twin! Baby led weaning certainly seems like the way to go… just as long as they decided to give ti up before they go to school, LOL!
Great post, my baby turned 1 year this month, and I was starting to wonder when should I start weaning..it’s so great to hear other moms are not giving up so easily, that I will not force her either. And is one of my best moments with her during the day, since I am away 10 hours a day at work…
It is such a special moment – even more so as they grow older and can interact with you :) Congrats on a successful year of breastfeeding!
You know what? Do whatever feels right and best for you and Reid. Keep on, or wean, either way. As long as you are still comfortable breastfeeding, then it doesn’t matter how old he is. On the other hand, if you’re done, then you’re done. I can understand your hesitation either way. My dilemma is having my daughter in the bed with me when she wakes up at night. I finally decided that I can’t do it forever and should enjoy it while I can. At least a little longer anyway.
Same, I really think that Reid is growing up too quickly (don’t they all!) and am just trying to enjoy the time with him :) Good for you!
I can’t believe Reid is already 18 months !!! Where did the time go???
Lena do what you gotta do because once it’s gone it’s gone :(
Yy babies are all grown up now but I remember how sweet it is to have a baby cuddled up and bf I loved it when in the middle of feeding they would find something funny and laugh or smile and lose a mouthful of milk!!! Oh those mammory memories !!!
Didn’t like it when another baby cried and I would leak tho.
Keep up the great work!!!
Allie
It is FLYING by Allie! And yes, it’s been a while since Reid has lost a mouthful of milk, but as soon as you said it I had warm memories of the times he did do it! Thanks so much for your encouragement :)
If you are starting to think about weaning, just eliminate one feeding at a time. (I would totally start with the middle of the night one!) When he cries at night, offer a cup, bottle, or whatever he’s used to. Mama needs her sleep! Better yet, send Dad in!!!
HA! I’ve tried sending Dad in – he wants nothing to do with him and will literally bellow like the world is coming to an end! Small steps, small steps… :)
I say “Good for You”. My Little girl is almost 14 months and she still my BFF. I work 4 days a week and she refuses to drink my pumped milk. I have a mild lactose intolerance, so I want to hold off giving her cow’s milk for awhile longer in case she develops an intolerance. She eats well throughout the day and gets plenty of water. So in the evenings and during the 3 days I’m home, I happily give in to my BFF!
You go girl! So happy to hear that you still have a nursing relationship with your BFF. Reid never had a problem drinking my pumped milk but absolutely refused formula. But, on days when I’m away, he gets plenty of water and food just like your LO.
I’m just catching up on your blog and I LOVE THIS POST.
Although I sometimes complain that I no longer have a social life (my son WILL NOT bottle feed), I wouldn’t trade it in for anything. My son just turned eight months and I treasure our quiet feeding time … even the 4am ones! Nothing compares – seeing those wide, brown eyes focussed on my face – sometimes a quick pull off to give me a smile and then he’s right back on! Though to say “thanks, Mom!”
The day will come when you are both ready to move on. Until then, cherish it!
I just came across your comment Monica! Thank you so much for weighing in; your comment brightened my night. And yes, I too shall cherish it!
Loved this post- so sweet! I bf’ed my son for 16 months and also got a lot of negative comments, especially from my mother in law. I’m about to have my second any week now and I am SO not looking forward to those comments again! Don’t stress too much about weaning – you’ll know when it’s time for you. And you’ll still be able to cuddle with your baby just as much – well, at least until he turns 2 and is too busy exploring =) Weaning for me was just dropping a feed at a time and then having hubby handle night time for a week. I won’t say we didn’t have issues, but it was amazing to finally sleep through the night – even if it did take almost 2 years =)
Thanks for your note Sonia! I think we are living the same life, LOL. I won’t pretend I’m not addicted to the cuddles – probably the main reason I’ve still got a BFF.
I have four children and only breastfed my second. It was an amazing experience. I now have twins who are bottlefed for numerous reasons I stopped pumping. Enjoy it! You will miss it when its gone!
Thanks Tanna :) I weaned Reid at 20 months and don’t regret a second of it!
The more I read on here the more I’m feeling like maybe you and I could be best friends! Haha. I breastfed both my kids and of course will the next one that is due in June. I absolutely love it. The little faces and noises they make, the closeness and snuggles, and just knowing that you’re giving your child such an amazing thing to drink. Of course it has its down sides like being woken up to comfort them back to sleep or having them pull your shirt down and expose yourself to the public lol but I wouldn’t do other wise and am a total advocate for breastfeeding. Good for you for sticking with it and loving every minute of it! (It’s still so sweet even when they wake you up at night) :)
Thank you Mandy – and I agree, if not the same person, then definitely best friends!
You are an amazing mother …I commend anyone that can tackle breastfeeding. I attempted with both of my babes and failed :0(
No, you didn’t fail Jenne. You just chose the option that was your best bet at the time :) That’s what makes moms great!
WTG girl! I breastfeed my 2 boys also and would do it again! :D
YAY!! :D
Awww what a handsome little man! I remember when my son was that young, ohhhh how the time flies!!
So sweet…his hand on your heart.
Who gives a f%^ what other people say?
when I clicked on link wow totally diff scenario then the bff I was thinking I was going to read lol. my youngest was like that always wanting the milk mustache. I am one of those mothers who really didnt like breast feeding but I did it. I think when I had my oldest only 7 mths pregnant and having to pump most of the breastfeeding time to bring to the hospital kinda made me lose its appeal.
Love it!
My daughter has breastfed her youngest two (she is still breastfeeding the youngest). She tried with her first, but it didn’t work out, and her second (first with her current hubby) they decided to bottle feed so that “dad” could get some time in as well. I think it is great to breastfeed if you are able to do it and as long as the baby/child is happy and healthy and gaining weight, I say go for it !
Lena, only Mom’s know what’s right for them & their children. It’s easy for a 3rd party to look at a situation and pass judgement, but there is always more to a story then just the words we use to tell it… those little moments that capture our hearts.. moments we can’t put into words or expect someone else to understand. Their not you, your child is not theirs.
I’d think by the time he’s pushing 6-7 .. you know.. might be time to consider it ha! j/k <3
When it comes to breast feeding, I think it is different for every Mum and baby. I breast fed Sara until she was 8 months old and only weaned her then because my breasts were sore. You are a wonderful mother, Lena :)