Today I have a pretty awesome guest blogger – my oldest son Ryder! Yes, he’s only two years old (almost three!) but he’s incredibly articulate and when he asked to blog on my site this morning, I couldn’t say no! Here he is…
Ryder here, Lena’s boy. You know, the one you “oooh” and “aaah” over whenever she posts pictures (which by the way, I haven’t exactly provided my express written consent for, so let me know if she posts any potty shots).
I asked my Mommy if I could be a guest blogger because there have been so many recent changes in my life, and I just wanted to share them all with you! Now have you heard that there’s a new addition to the family? It’s true – his name is Reid, and he’s been hanging around for about 8 months. And to tell the truth, I just don’t see what the whole fascination with “the baby” is all about. He’s a complete tool.
Maybe I should back up. Before Reid (or the period known as “BR”, as I like to call it) things were great. It was just me and Mommy and Daddy, and I liked it that way. I could snuggle in their bed until I fell asleep, jump off park benches with my Mommy and play tee-ball with my Daddy. I pretty much ran the show, if you know what I mean.
Then Mommy got fat. And when I say fat, I mean HUGE. But she seemed pretty happy about, so I’m not judging – plus, friends and family would rest their hands on her belly and say “the baby” in such soothing tones that it seemed like it was a good thing. She even talked with me about said baby; she told me that I would soon have a little “brother”, and that we would grow up together and play together and be best friends. She also told me that it was because of this baby that she could no longer lift me up and roll on the ground. Huh. Not here, and he already killed my buzz.
But I looked forward to meeting this brother of mine. I reasoned that he could sleep in half my crib and we could play with Hot Wheels together. We could even sit side by side in the grocery cart! Things were starting to look up. And then, without warning, Daddy took me out out of my crib and said I had to sleep in the BIG BOY BED. That cribs were for babies, and I was a big boy. Pfft. Baloney. The crib was being handed off to one baby in particular… even I figured out that all on my own. Strike two for the little guy.
Weeks later, Mommy went to the hospital and I got to stay with Grandma. It was so much fun! But I missed Mommy, and when I asked Grandma when I would see her, she told me that Mommy was “having the baby.” What the heck does that mean? (I later found out they cut her tummy open. One word: EWW.)
So we went to see Mommy and Daddy and the baby. Boy, did I ever feel ripped off.
First of all, this “brother” was nothing like I pictured. He was a tiny dolly! Dolls are for girls, dude. What use do I have for a doll that cries and screams and wets itself? Pass. They told me his name was Reid, and everyone laughed at me when I repeated his name, “Weed”. Wait, that doesn’t sound right.
I also recently saw him bouncing away in my Fisher-Price Rainforest Jumparoo. Now from what I recall, Daddy also said I had “outgrown” it – but this isn’t another crib scenario, is it? I mean, I hope I didn’t give it up just so that Reid could have it… and I certainly don’t know of a BIG BOY version for me, seeing that Mommy has outlawed jumping on her bed (wouldn’t that be the natural transition?). I just can’t win.
And finally, the thing I totally can’t wrap my head around: my parents literally treat him like he’s the second coming. They coo at him non-stop; he’s constantly being carried around instead of walking for himself (I told you he was lazy) and Mommy spends almost all her time feeding him one way or another. And get this: last month he sat up by himself. BIG DEAL. You’d think he was juggling knives, so impressed were they by his skills. They clapped and took pictures and called up the family. “Reid sat up! Reid sat up!”
Well, I have a secret to share with you. I don’t really know how to say this, but sometimes I feel that Mommy doesn’t love me anymore. She’s constantly shouting at me, looks at me with tired, defeated eyes, and spends her free time blogging, cleaning up and making meals instead of playing with me. She puts toys in front of me and expects me to just be good and amuse myself. Its like I’ve become the house pet. (And not a lovable dog, either – more like a cat, who blends into the background.)
Daddy has been really good about playing with me and making me feel special, but it’s Mommy’s love and attention that I crave. I hate this feeling. I didn’t ask for a little brother. I didn’t ask for my family to change. And I want things to go back to the way they were…
But I know they can’t. So I push Mommy’s buttons. I lash out at her. I do everything I can to send her a message: NOTICE ME! LOVE ME!
She doesn’t see it that way, of course. She thinks I’m being naughty, and reprimands me for throwing my toys, tipping Reid over (which I actually find pretty hilarious), and for screaming and crying in fits of frustration. In fact, I find that I cry more now that I ever have! But clearly, she has no idea how it feels to suddenly be on the outside looking in. And I want back in her life. I miss Mommy.
So I’m hoping that you’ll keep my secret, but I also kinda wish that she’ll see this post and know that I really just want some alone time with her. Time to play together, laugh together, and be best friends again.
As for Reid? Well, I still think he’s a tool. But I’m starting to see that he may just be of use to me after all. He’s now doing things he couldn’t do only months ago, and I swear I saw him try to (gasp) crawl the other day. Perhaps once he’s mobile, he’ll be slightly less cumbersome to have around. But don’t worry, I still love him lots, and not just because Mommy tells me to be nice to him. I’m a BIG BROTHER and proud of it!
It’s been nice sharing with you. Hope you all have an awesome day, and maybe I’ll have a chance to be a guest blogger again! That would be sweet!
Thanks so much for being my guest blogger today, Ryder. You did a great job!
I am so sorry. I forgot what a huge transition this must be for you, and I know I let you down. But I promise that I will work out a balance, and starting today, you and I will once again have some special time – just the two of us. You are an amazing big brother to Reid and I love you so much.
Ella Pretty Blog
Sob…this post made me so teary! It's so important to give each kid special Mommy time – but not always easy to do in practice!Both your boys are such sweeties!
Ah – this post hit home for me! I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old and yes, we're facing the exact same challenges. I have made myself a promise to be more patient, spend more one-on-one time etc etc etc – it's hard. Things come up and dinners have to be made. And it's just…hard. You're doing amazingly well – especially having your website to run!
Oh I remember these days….they really do go by fast. Both boys are adorable! Can't wait for the next guest post …. talking about all the fun things Big Brothers get to do – and get to do FIRST.Enjoy this time, cherish each triumph and each set back because before you know it they are graduating college and on their own
Tears! Lena, this post really hit home for me too. I honestly feel like my 3 yr old knows that I neglect her. I feel so guilty all of the time but I just don't have enough hours in the day to do what I want to do. I love your blog, I read it everyday! Sometimes twice!
*sniff*sniff*Too sweet, Lena. And yaaay for guest speaker Ryder! Look forward to the next installment :)LizaDee
Did you know that you can turn your posts into a novel? Because I really think your blog could be a best selling book. I really loved this post.
What a hilarious little guy! I think he gets it from mommy!What a great post : )
What a witty blog post Lena!! Loved it!! It hit home for me too!! I have an almost 3 year old (waaah) and a 1 year old!! I'm taking her on a special trip this weekend, just her and I and meeting up with a bunch of kiddo's. She is going to have a blast!! We do need to make special time for each child!! Thanks for your post!!!
what a great post!! I can totally relate, I love love love your writing. :)
Wow…what tremendous writing skills for a 2-year-old! Tell Ryder that eventually his brother will become his best friend and they'll do all sorts of fun things together, like putting frogs on Mommy's pillow, jumping off the garage roof, and daring each other to eat worms! Fun times lie ahead!
This is the cutest little story ever!! Ryder's eloquence and typemanship are superb!! Einstein in the houseDeepi
@Ella Pretty – thank you so much! They're both so sweet in their own ways :)@Sara – ah, another mommy in my shoes. Hugs to you!@Kat – thank you for the wonderful advice – I hear you!@DeeDee H – thank you doll!@LizaDee – thanks! I hope Ryder will be back for another installment too!@Kendra – I do know that. I just need some time and I'd love to gather my 20 favourite posts or so and keep them for memories. Thanks so much for the encouragement.@Soulla – yup, he must get it from me!@Crystal – hey girl! If you FB photos are any indication you are doing a smashing job giving Alyssa one-on-one time! Good work mama!@Velarie – thanks so much!@she – ooh, what wonderful things I can look forward to! Thanks for the tip!
@Deepi – LOL! Yup, he's a smart cookie!
Charlene, you are such an amazing woman! Not surprising that Ryder is a great blogger…I second the motion for a book…this is funny (especially because it resonates with so many mommies) and poignant. Beautifully written, as usual.
What a beautiful story from an adorable little boy :) Ryder and Reid will LOVE reading this when they get older! It reminds me of Aidan and Josh, and how much of an adjustment it was for poor Aidan. But the love between siblings makes up for that. I look forward to more Ryder blogs in the future :)
Beautiful post! You are an inspiration to all young moms, missy.
You are simply too hard on yourself. He knows you love him. He just wants more attention. Don't worry, eventually it will all work out, and he will feel so lucky every day to have a little brother. Wait until he learns he can boss him around! (Just ask MY little brother about that)I only have one child right now, but I want another and I know it's going to be sooo hard. Just remember, though, it's simply a stage you have to pass through. It will be so much better on the other side!
That made me cry…really well written Lena! Looking forward to more posts from Ryder:) xo
Lena:Reid and Ryder are so fortunate to have you for their Mommy! Your intuition is spot on.Maybe when both of your little boys are in school this "Ryder blog" may be the kernel of a potential new career for you…beautifully done!
Hey, Ryder–Outstanding post for your first time! You had me laughing, teary and missing my grandbabies. I think you're handling this pretty well; you've got great insight. And you're pretty lucky to have mommy, daddy and Reid in your life. You hang in there, I promise it gets better and better (for you, too, mommy). Blessings <3
@Judy – Thank you my friend. YOU are amazing – and one of the most beautiful individuals I've ever met.@Shauna – aw, Aidan is the best big brother! Looks like he transitioned very well.@Terry – thank you (but I'm not that young, LOL!)@dannyscotland – I probably am being hard on myself, but at the same time, I realize changes are necessary. Thanks for all your support :)@Lotus – Hugs!@Oody – You are too kind. I'll work on it!@g – thank you for the kind words of support. We both appreciate it!
Great Post hunny!
Omg I read this and cried so hard. What a wicked post! It's true we forget what a huge transition it is for our kids and how they each via for our attention, needing to be loved. I'm sharing this post with friends. And don't worry tell your son he's secret is safe with me (wink wink)
@Jody Shaw – thank you so much! And may I say, I'm so happy to have found your blog!
Made me laugh and cry, excellent post Lena!
Chandra Christine O'Connor
that made me say oooohhhh. baby picture a-dor-a-ble
Thanks so much ladies :)
I have 2 boys and they have their good days then there bad days but they will always have each other!
Aww ! Poor little guy!