Over the eight years I’ve been publishing my blog, I’ve had only a handful of guest writers. I suppose it’s inherent to my A-type personality; I have a hard time giving up the controls, opting to simply do things myself rather than depend on others.
(And, to be honest, I really do think I can do a better job. See! I’m not a martyr, I’m a snob.)
However, today I’m shaking things up. Did you know that in any given week, at least 500,000 Canadians will miss work due to a mental health issue? And one in eight women will develop depression at some point in their lives? Mental illness indirectly affects all Canadians at some time through a family member, friend or colleague.
It happens, we know that. But four in ten Canadian women say that they are too embarrassed to admit to mental health issues, and they have never sought medical help. Adding to the frustration, more than one third (38 per cent) of Canadians agree that if a friend or family member had a mental health issue, they would not know how to support them.
And that needs to change.
To put a spotlight on mental illness, I’m handing over the reigns to my husband; he’ll be giving me a much-deserved break today from my busy schedule as a mom and business woman so that I can have a moment for my own mental health. Everyone, please meet Michael Almeida!
Hi everyone, I’m Michael, Lena’s husband. I know it was really difficult for her to let me guest write on her blog (she’ll probably edit my submission for grammar) but today she’ll be able to sit in the backyard with her e-reader while I try to keep up the writing standards on this blog!
Almost 10 years to the day I proposed to this beautiful girl. It was love at first sight for me and from the moment I met her I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She was always so happy and so positive and so sweet.
About six months before we were married I found her crying in our bedroom. I thought she was stressed out about her job or our wedding but when I asked her what was wrong she said she was crying because she was sad. I didn’t know how to respond or how to comfort her especially because she couldn’t tell me what she was sad about. She just cried until she felt better and then told me that she was a very anxious person and sometimes her nerves got to her.
I was actually really surprised because until then she hid it really well. I had no idea she had anxiety but wasn’t worried about it because I knew I would always be there for her. Since that day I think she let her guard down because now she always tells me when she’s feeling anxious or scared. We go through this exercise where I ask her what is bothering her and then we keep asking “why?” until we get to the root of the problem. Most of the time she’s scared something will happen to her and she won’t be here for the boys. Maybe one day she’ll want to see someone or talk to someone, but until then we just do a lot of talking and I do a lot of listening.
She’ll say she’s lucky to have me but it’s the other way around. She takes care of our boys and our home and a successful business so I feel that she definitely deserves to have a break to concentrate on her mental health. That’s why it was an honour to take over her blog today. Thanks for reading and now I want to know: how does she write so much all the time without running out of ideas? This took me two hours to put together!
… and THAT’s my husband! Thanks for the break, hun – I managed four chapters of my latest chick lit and had a little siesta, too!
If you know of someone struggling with mental health issues, you can always lend an ear (sometimes just a friendly face and listening ear is all someone needs to feel supported); encourage them to get active (exercise can be just as effective as medication for mild to moderate depression) or of course, seek professional support.
On Saturday, June 11th 2016, women, family members, colleagues and friends from Toronto will be taking part in the SHOPPERS LOVE. YOU. Run for Women. Shoppers Drug Mart is a proud champion of putting women’s health first and organizes the annual Run for Women to raise funds for programs dedicated to helping women with mental health issues.
• All proceeds from the Toronto run taking place on June 11th benefit the Women’s College Hospital, Women’s Mental Health Program.
• The Shoppers Drug Mart Run for Women is Canada’s first and only womens’ and girls’ running race series, benefiting women’s health initiatives across the country.
• The run is organized in partnership with The Running Room.
• For more information or to find a run close to you visit: www.runforwomen.ca
I’m lucky to have a network of loving, supportive family and friends. We need to continue the conversation surrounding mental health because although awareness is growing, more attention is needed. Please help to spread the word.
It’s so important to not only make sure that your body is fit but your mind too, the latter is unfortunately often ignored. Everyone should take time out to just relax, to forget about all the weight on their shoulders and just enjoy life for an hour or two, longer if needed.
Thanks for chiming in, Elizabeth! Appreciate you taking a moment to comment.
Such a sweet post – awww! I think it’s so important to have empathetic people around you – so even though they may not understand why you feel the way you do, they acknowledge that you are dealing with something. Talking to my friends and family helped me deal with some anxiety issues I was happening – and one of my friends taught me this trick that totally helped me (when I feel like I’m not taking full breaths, give myself a “hug” and put my hands on my back…it warms me up and helps me realize that I am taking proper breaths, and it calms me down)
What a wonderful post! I think mental health is an issue that should be SO much more out in the open then it is!
I suffered a bout of depression during a particularly stressful time in my life and it was both embarrassing (sadly) and difficult to explain to others WHY I felt the way I did and that you can’t just ‘snap’ out of it!
Like you said, sometimes just having a shoulder to cry on can mean the world!
We could totally be Team Anxious together bc I have always been anxious (about little and big things…frustrates me to no end!). Like you, my DH is great at being supportive and helping me through it.
This is such a wonderful post,true love is totally amazing and not every person gets to experience it i am so happy for you both.Sit back and relax Lena you other half has everything under control.
Great post lena! Love that cute photo of you too :)
That run is a good cause
Great post Lena. Michael did a great job, you should let him do it again :) It is very important to take care of our mental health. Having someone there to help you though is so important. I am lucky like you and have an amazing DH that is right there beside me.
Thanks for the insight into your life and mental health. There are so many who are scared to discuss these things, meanwhile if more people did we would all realize we aren’t alone.
This is such a lovely post. Such a beautiful loving couple. Mental health can be a very scary thing. There’s a lot of it in my family. My father is bipolar and manic depressant. My sister has an eating disorder which has led to drug abuse. My brother is showing signs of bipolar but he’s an awesome level headed guy. Lastly, my mother has Posttraumatic stress disorder from severe childhood abuse. At times it’s very hard to see them suffer but for the most part, we’re a very happy family. I try my best to be the light in their life. I do admit, like you, I worry to the point of extreme anxiety and hide it until I’m alone. I love them more than they’ll ever know.
Great post Lena and Michael. I love how honest your post as its so important to discuss mental health and to take care of ourselves!
I love that your husband Michael give you a break today! Mental health is very important. I do experience anxiety from time to time but not very often.
enjoy your break
It’s good to see more awareness surrounding mental health from our corporate entities
It’s awesome that you have such a great husband, everyone needs to just go and chill out for a bit just to recharge, anything can cause anxiety, so it’s great to have someone understand you!! By the way that is a wonderful picture!!
It’s so sad that people who suffer from mental health issues are told to “get over it”. If we could, then we surely would. As a teenager I suffered from sadness to thoughts of suicide; then I was in an unhealthy marriage and that sure didn’t help at all. Prescription pills numbed me for a while; divorce saved me. But now my daughter is on anti-depressants because she’s having those same thoughts too.
Good mental health is so important to overall health. Thank you for sharing
What a great article Lena and Hubby :) I think its so important to raise awareness. I felt like this both times I was pregnant and after pregnancy, I found myself just crying for no apparent reason but it feels good to talk about it. I think with the pregnancy & baby and all I was so stressed out I didn’t even know it. Great article and what a fabulous photo of the both of you!!!!!
Awesome article Lena. There are so many people who have mental health issues and suffer in silence. You are so fortunate to have a hubby who understands you and is always there for you to lift your spirits up again. Love your beautiful picture!
Thanks for sharing Lena & Michael…there are so many of us that can relate whether it’s ourselves or a family member. It’s so important for us to talk about it & not hide it. I know my husband has suffered with this along with other issues and is finally opening up about it with others. We are not alone.
such a great post & read! thank you to you both for sharing about this important topic. It is very important to talk about it and to lend an open ear to the person who needs it <3 such a wonderful couple you two are and the rock that you are to each other
What a wonderful post! It is very important to take care of our mental health. Talking to friends and family about this issue really helps. Thank you so much for sharing.
You are so lucky! I always wished my partner would be supportive and be someone I can talk to but it’s like talking to a wall and you cannot change someone. You guys are so lucky to have eachother!
I think we are slowly changing the way we view mental illness. Important issues like these tend to take too long for society to understand & accept but we are moving in the right direction. They did an entire unit on it in my daughter’s school & when asked if they knew someone with mental illness, almost everyone raised their hand. This next generation is going to keep moving this issue into the spotlight.
Such an important topic. Thanks for talking about it on your blog.
When i look at the photo of you both together,you can see the love you have come so far since this post,made a family and they are both totally handsome boys….but i see they came from good stock
Keep on being her rock and counsellor
This is a really good post and reminder. You don’t know what’s going on with someone. I have extremely bad anxiety and I over think things, you would probably never know this about me but there are days it can consume me. It’s very important to take a break sometimes and if you see someone who you feel has an issue, be an ear. That’s all we need sometimes
When I am feeling stressed, I close my eyes and just breath for a few moments, most times it helps
Love the photo of you both,it’s great you can talk to each other believe many couples have a hard time communicating to each other.
Since my accident I have times where I get depressed and sometimes I want to give up and it’s hard to fight my way out but after 29 years I find humor helps me a lot.