Listen to Lena

Perfecting the Art of Conversuasion

I’m Not Deaf; I’m Just Ignoring You.

By

Before having children, I often took offense at the way mothers handled their whiny, annoying kids in public.

For Christ’s sake, shut them up! I’d silently pray. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

I often theorized that if I had a kid, there was no way in HELL I’d let him carry on like that, caterwauling like a demented lunatic. My offspring would be polite, well-mannered and conscious of their environment and those around them.

I believe the term is to “eat crow?”

The thing is… I get it now. I really do. As moms, it’s not that we think it’s reasonable to let our children go off on a tangent, audibly torturing everyone within a four-block radius. The simple truth is, we just don’t hear them anymore. Seriously, we are immune.

I call it the fuss filter.

And it comes from long hours of being subjected to whining, temper tantrums, crying fits, hissy fits, outbursts, “he touched me!”, shrieking, ranting, biting, repetitive insanity and the like. After a while, it takes us progressively longer to realize that someone is speaking, let alone screaming his head off. Fuss filter in full effect.

Last Saturday, I was at Wal-Mart with the kiddos.

Let’s see, I’ve gotta grab lotion, toothpaste, check for that silly DVD, get a surge protector, I think we’re out of paper towels, are Pampers on sale this week? Hmm… no, I hate paying full price (Want red car.) but I don’t want to put the little guy in the cheap diapers either, maybe I’ll check Loblaws and come back tomorrow if I need to… (Want red car.) … even though I rather not, should I just buy now?… (WANT RED CAR!) … I can’t believe there’s no freaking Tide Free laundry detergent. Does everyone use it or do they just refuse to keep it in stock? (WANT RED CARRR!!!!) And why do they have 12 different Febreze-scented… (WANT RED CARRR!!!! WANT RED CARRR!!!!! WANT! WANT! WANT!) …thingies. I can’t tell the difference. They all smell the same (WANT RED CAR) but I don’t think I want my house smelling of apples (WANT RED CAR) although…

“Huh? What?”
“WANT RED CAR!”
“Um no, you cannot have a red car. Now pipe down before you make a spectacle of yourself.”

Mmm…. crow.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Leanne

    haha! We’re like shopping twins, only I get shouted at about pink things…. And I’m not allowed to get more laundry detergent since my husband says I’m stocking up for the Zombie Apocalypse. But other than that, yes, Shopping Twins.

    • Lena

      We’re more alike than you know, Leanne… because I actually have Tide Free laundry detergent at home, but like to stock up as well! Ha!

  2. dannyscotland

    That’s so true: I used to have a friend who had two boys and a girl, and they were SO obnoxious! She never seemed to notice anything they were doing, and it would drive me so crazy (before I myself had children). It got so bad that I stopped going to her house. I couldn’t stand to be around her children at all. My daughter hasn’t gotten to the hissy-fit stage yet, and I hope to all that’s good and right with this world that she keeps it in check, because I don’t know if I could handle it!

    • Lena

      Let’s cross our fingers that your LO keeps it in check, or you may be dropping her off to play with your former friend’s kids… and then you can both ignore them together!

  5. Lisa P.

    Oh, Lena… you read my mind again! I’ve been having a *fun* time, shall we say, with my kids lately too. I try not to take them anywhere when they’re overtired or hungry, but it seems no matter what I do, one of them is one of those things at some point or another… I can’t win! And, hey, when you need milk, eggs and juice… you NEED milk, eggs and juice! LOL Ah, this too shall pass… I just try to give ’em a ton of kisses and laugh it off! Great post, as usual! :)

    • Lena

      Ha ha Lisa, I do feel your pain. Ryder is cranky in the morning; Reid, in the afternoon. And they HATE being confined to a stroller, but run round like cowboys if they’re not. This too shall pass….

  6. Shauna MacKenzie

    I feel your pain! I used to wonder if my mom (raising 4 kids!!!) was ignoring us or was going deaf in one ear. Selective hearing is a must as a parent. I did not hear Aidan say “I’m bored, when will this be all over?” 75 times during the Santa Claus parade…

    • Lena

      Agreed! I don’t think I’d be able to make it through the day if I didn’t have selective hearing. Just yesterday Ryder was throwing a tantrum of epic proportions and it took me a whole 2 minutes to clue in to the fact he was even in the room :(

  8. Carlee

    LMAO! I had a really good laugh while reading this. I always wanted to know why my sister lets my niece scream her head off for hours…and now I have the answer!!!

  10. Karina

    LOVE! SO me yesterday at Walmart Heartland!

    Down to the lack of Tide Free (DH’s skin puffs like a blowfish if I use anything else) and Max screaming “Thooommmaaaasss” the whole time we were there.