When I was a young girl, the script went something like this:
You need to study hard and go to a good school and get a stable job in an office.
That, my friends, is the extent of the career counselling I received from my parents. And I don’t blame them for their lack of inspirational advice; they were simply following a cultural norm, one that dictated that children should be fed, clothed and educated – with the fervent hope that their post-secondary education would lead them to a cushy, 9-5, “white collar” job.
(Do we still use that term in 2016?)
So I did it. I went through school, I landed the office job, and I proceeded to establish a career – one that, at first glance, seemed glossy and full of promise, but in reality, was far from perfect. Because I carried a chip on my shoulder.
I was angry at my parents for putting education on a pedestal without considering my passions and aspirations. I was angry at myself for complacently following along, lacking the appropriate motivation to challenge the status quo. I was angry that I couldn’t get a raise, couldn’t lose 5 pounds and couldn’t find a way to rewind the clock.
In the end, I got it “write”.
This is a picture of my two boys on their first day of school last September.
Who will they become? What will they be? As I watch them grow, mature, and find inspiration in the world around them, I’m full of hope for their futures. Because whether they choose to be an actor or an analyst, a fashion designer or a fire chief, the world is their oyster and the opportunities are endless. And, unlike generations before me, I don’t have a set expectation of what defines success.
After seeing a Seneca College ad on the subway recently, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that today’s colleges, like Seneca, can support 500+ career options from trades to professionals and offer everything from 4-year BComms to Graduate Certificates to Diplomas. (That’s right – a degree from college. Times have changed, yes?) With the right school, real-world learning, passionate teachers and an authentic student experience, I know my boys will be on the right track for a successful career… and a successful life.
Happiness, friends. Happiness is all that I wish for my children. I want them to have the passion to learn, the drive to never give up, the fearlessness to push themselves out of their comfort zone. I want them to feel ready for anything the world throws at them. I want them to search their hearts and explore their options.
Of course, a very small part of me… just a teeny bit… loves the sound of “Dr. Almeida”. Shh! It will be our little secret.
Happiness is key!I am sure your boys will do great things!
Thanks Judy :)
I love this post and couldn’t agree more with you. I will be there to support my daughters in whatever path they do choose just like my parents did for me. My parents both respected my choice to go to college for Acting for Film & TV. and even though I finished College and had an agent for a year, my focus went on to being a wife and a mom and leaving that dream behind. BUT the fact that my parents were there for me every step of the way, truly meant a lot. And I will carry that on to my girls. PS- Absolutely adorable photo <3
Thank you so much for sharing! I love to read stories like this :)
I love this post,stand by your kids in whatever path they choose.Its their path and they have to do what makes them happy even if you may want something you think is better for them.We live once so we have to live happy its our choice.I love the photo…2 handsome boys you have…
Thank you Kathy! I’m not worried at all about my boys. They have food to eat, clothes to wear and limitless opportunities. They’ll get there :)
One of the best things you can do for your children is to stand by them. Knowing you have support is an incredible feeling, and can help you to achieve your goals.
Totally agree, Athena!
It seems like everyone has a degree but not many actually use them. They seem to be something to put on a resume and not a path to living your dream. Happiness is absolutely a better goal, the only one really!
I agree – to an extent – because even though I’m in a different field now than when I started, I use the skills I learned in school to excel at my work now :)
When my mom was diagnosed for the second time with cancer, I missed out on my downpayment for my program, so I went into hairstyling it was only a 9 1/2 mth course which meant I could stay at home and help with my mom. Though I never regretted the time I had, and I was really good at what I did, it wasn’t my dream.
Thank you for sharing, Chandra. Sometimes we make choices that are right for the moment, and we have to be at peace with them. I’m sure you gave both your mom, and your many clients, happiness.
Me too! The most important part of life is to be happy. If you aren’t happy, you don’t have anything.
Yes! Happiness = Success!
My mother never approved of my career choice, but I looked forward to every single day I went to work, I loved my career and did it for 25 years. FYI she still does not approve of anything I do lol
LOL Debbie! Well, my mom definitely approves of my career choice NOW… when I first started my blog? Well, maybe not. But that’s mostly because she just wants what’s best for me and is not comfortable with risk/ change, and I understand that.
I think education looks different now then it did when I was school age, and it’s going to continue to change as my kids approach that age.
In my personal opinion and I know people will disagree. Too many parents pay for their children’s education without the child being that committed. If one has to pay/work for what they have they’ll appreciate it more.
Even though it didn’t quite work for you. It probably somehow enriched what you do now?
Absolutely – I wouldn’t trade my education for anything! My business training not only helped me in the workforce, but as a business owner, too. I also agree with your assessment re: tuition. My parents generously helped out with mine, but I did pay a significant portion as well through part-time and summer jobs. It made me feel gratitude for my education. Your kids are lucky to have you!
Ha, they might feel less lucky to have me when they realize I’m not paying for their university.
I love this post Lena! I went to university after high school because that was the norm. I soon realized it wasn’t for me and went to a technical college instead. I’ve worked the last 10 years as a paralegal and just finished my business degree at age 30! Maybe law school is next. I took a different route than the “norm” but the life lessons and real world experience coupled with the education I received is so valuable to me. I’m thankful my parents stood by me the whole way. It’s never too late and there are so many options for post-secondary education these days!
I got the same speech from well meaning family members and where did that lead me? Well let’s just say I’m much happier than I have been in a long time since working in an office.
I hope the boys find something they are passionate about and pursue it while being well informed.
It’s such an important thing in life to find a job that makes you happy!
We tried to have our kids try to pick something they would like to do for their careers and that if they found out quickly that wasn’t what they thought it was going to be, that they should and could change to something else.
I don’t know anyone who is in the sector they initially went to post secondary school for! My main concern for my daughter was best using her abilities and interests to eventually support herself. Besides the main outcome, she has developed the ambition to continue updating her education. That has included ‘real time’ classes, online courses and the realization that a ‘job’ is not the end goal but lifelong learning is.
I agree that happiness is important and you should do what you are passionate about.But I strongly believe that if you can go to a university and get a degree you should. .Its not only about getting a career but a place where you learn and mature as a person where you get to experience many things which you won’t be able to experience else where.you can still get a degree in what you are passionate about and be happy.
There are so many opportunities for children now. A good education will allow them to be flexible in their future careers.
My parent’s quietly supported me – it was like being able to make my own choices and having a sturdy wall to lean on. :-) I hope my kids will feel the same way. Happiness is everything!! <3