I’ve been losing my cool lately, and it’s all because of a 7-year old. THIS is the monster that’s been pushing my buttons, making me scream and driving me to drink.
I know. A complete terror, isn’t he?
Sigh. It’s so easy to have perspective when I’m not in the moment. But as Ryder gains independence, he has also become inquisitive, defiant and often, aggressive and uncooperative. It’s all part of growing up, I know, and he’s no different than any other 7-year old I see. Yet it’s very difficult to think with a level head and keep my cool, especially when he asks “why?” for the hundredth time or says “I don’t want to” just as often.
Why don’t kids come with a manual? Better yet, why don’t they have a “pause” button?
Parenting. The hardest (and most rewarding) job in the world. Tell me it gets easier, friends.
Are we twins?
Ha! So you can feel my pain?
You took the words right out of my mouth.My son is 7 and is defiant,argues, cannot take no for an answer..the list goes on.Me and my husband have been fighting because of my son who won;t cooperate.I had reached my limit one day and I broke down in front of my son who had just started being defiant. I presented the situation “AS IS”. I asked him if he sees dad and mom fighting because he won;t obey, causes delay and so on. I told him he is breaking my heart each time he argues with me and that I was really tired and that I have to manage difficult people at work and that he was making simple things more difficult for me. I told him how it would benefit him if he just listened a little more on basic things instead of blaming everyone else but himself.Believe me, it was a serious but a heart to heart conversation and only I spoke and he could only nod or say yes, no.I finished and told him to think about and walked away sadly. It has only been 2 days since that “talk” and I see him cooperating a bit more instead of fighting everything we say.Sometimes children need to see life in a more realistic way instead of customizing it to their age.I told him that I could not go on arguing and fighting with him.I want him to grow up and not fight me for getting ready/shoes on /sweater-on , it is freaking cold/ talking back.I think I set my expectations clear and he can improve on some things right away which he has and somethings I will give him more time.I was afraid that his defiance would extend to school and phew! writing back and forth with the teacher…I told him that I do not want this in school.
Just wanted to share my experience.
Thank you so, so much for chiming in. Sometimes it’s just therapeutic to know that someone is going through the same thing and understands. I think you may be on to something, and it’s time for me to have “the talk” with my son. I like that you communicated with him truthfully. Wishing us both luck!
I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but I would be lying. My favourite years of parenting were 6 and under LOL… oh those pre teens and teens years… now those.. those will test you my friend!
Argh, just what I feared :)
I have a 7 year old (girl) and while I would take the terrible 2’s any day over the “threenager” or the “fournado”, I’m very afraid of the pre-teen, hormone-angst emotions that are around the corner. So I don’t know if it gets easier, but at least we have each other!!!
Fournado!!! Love it – never heard of that one! And yes, agreed – we can lean on each other!
No advice to give you since I haven’t had to deal with it, just wanted to wish you good luck. I am sure this phase will pass just in time for the next one to start :)
oh my, my 7yr old has been the same lately and I was thinking is this your new friend you’ve been hanging out with? I dont like it and now the middle is trying to copy everything he does so yelling has been happening and I hate it, but then he has has sweet moments still, I just can’t wait for it to end lol so I feel your pain
yes, parenting is SO TOUGH! we have a 5 yr old, 2 yr old, and 6 mo old. wow, exhausting! each stage is hard and comes with different challenges… but can’t imagine not being a mom! :)
Your lucky to have a boy, I have two girls and I tell ya, they are much worse..lol
…but look at that face! He’s so CUTE! Don’t fret lovely, from what I’ve seen on your blog, you’re one awesome mommy. Sometimes buttons just get jammed and need a little wiggle.
If only people came with a manual, life would be so much simpler! Although probably not as much fun and adventurous.
Yes! I would totally buy that manual — want to write one, Lena?
One day my friend you will be like me sitting down in the evening enjoying a good book,entering a great contest,a glass of wine and you will wonder where the years went…..the good outweight the bad most times and what would we do without them….cheers and have a safe Halloween
Halloween is almost upon again,maybe in a few years you might want to try writing a manual..
I think what makes it worse is, they may be getting older and more defiant but I found as I got older, I had less and less patience which don’t mix well.
How can a loving child change to be such an pain sometimes my grandson has been very defiant these pass few weeks and my patience’s are running thin!