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It’s Time to Have “The Talk”.

March 31, 2014 By Lena

My boys are only about a month shy of their 4th and 6th birthdays, so I’m a little surprised that it’s already time to have “the talk”.

Truthfully, I assumed I had at least a few more years. My sons are barely out of the toddler stages! I had convinced myself that the the dreaded conversation would take place sometime in the distant future, so I did little to prepare myself – I gave it little thought and importance. Let the parents of tweens worry about it, I thought, I’m still PVR’ing Disney Junior shows!

But it happened. It happened and I was caught off-guard; silently cursing the acceleration of childhood. And it happened at the most inopportune moment; I was flustered, disorganized and trying to accomplish about a thousand things at once, and there stood Ryder, hovering in my doorway. I could tell he wanted to ask me something, and I turned to him, my face dripping with annoyance and expectation. “What is it?” I snapped.

If I had known this would be the pivotal moment, the moment I had both feared and dreaded would come eventually (but not now!), I would have been better prepared. I would have had all my key points of love, nurturing and most of all, quiet authority and instruction, ready to dole out with calm, maternal intelligence. I would have called out to my husband, who, as the man of the family, would’ve been able to delve from his own experience.

Yet my perfect vision of “the talk” crumbled at my feet when out of mouth of my sweet, young and naive son, the dreaded words flowed: “Can we get a dog?” Unprepared, I blurted out an unintelligent, garbled response that only the most practiced ears would understand and interpret as no f*cking way.

So, my friends, the hour is upon us and it’s time to have the “No Dogs Talk”. As an aside, I blame my best friend for the premature timing of the discussion, as she recently acquired the most adorable puppy I’ve laid eyes on and I’ve been showing the boys his photos. So I suppose I’ve had a hand in this debacle after all, and now it’s time to set the record straight. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stand firm – and that troubles me. In fact, my husband is fairly convinced I’ll eventually give in. But for the time being, I will only take care of two babies, dammit.

Do you have pets? Were you convinced by your children – or, as a child, did you convince your parents? 

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Family, growing up, pets, Reader Favourites

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. loriag

    March 31, 2014 at 8:06 am

    Oh dogs are so good for little boys, give in!

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:13 pm

      Ha! Candy is good for little boys too… but my kids can’t have Skittles for dinner! LOL!

  2. Victoria

    March 31, 2014 at 8:23 am

    hehehe! You’re done for when I bring him over :)

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:13 pm

      I’m putting a 2×4 across our door to keep you and your evil adorable puppy out.

  3. Victoria Ess

    March 31, 2014 at 8:47 am

    Haha the lead up was hilarious! I didn’t have pets growing up although I wanted a dog badly. Did you have pets growing up?

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      I didn’t Victoria, that’s why I’m so resistant to the idea. My husband grew up with a pug and has been begging me for one since the day we met :)

      • Victoria Ess

        April 1, 2014 at 9:58 pm

        Not having a pet had the opposite effect on me; that is, I have become completely, 100% committed to the idea of having a pet! Particularly after Google-ing images of pug-chihuahuas… which if you have not seen, you must see!

        Honestly, I can see why you would resist the idea right now, particularly if you do feel like you already have your hands full (and it’s not hard to see why you would feel that way!!). Pets *can* be a great way for a kids to learn responsibility, but parents, not the kids themselves, are usually the best judge of whether kids are ready to commit to that tasks.

        But still do Google pug chihuahua mixes.

        • Lena

          April 5, 2014 at 8:09 am

          Well, I did Google pug chihuahua mixes… and I can’t even stand the cuteness. OMG! I have to stay strong.

  4. Allie

    March 31, 2014 at 10:58 am

    We had a family dog growing up It was great.(Champ)Heinz 57)
    And before I had my children I had an Akita from Japan (very big dog 150 lbs)(Mac Arthur)

    Then with my own family three kids we started with a stray cat best cat ever!!!(Phoundus)
    Then came cat # 2(Gizmo)
    and then cat # 3(Penlope)
    Then I got another Akita!! :)(Ryu) I got him from homeless street kids at Bay and Front street downtown!!
    This all being said my house is full of furry babies(and fur) and paw prints my kids are almost all grown up and the brunt of cleaning up and feeding and bathing and paying vet bills are all mine but so worth it !!!!
    But…. if you dont have the pet gene in you don’t do it because this will become YOUR dog as the boys are in school and you will be the one walking and feeding and taking the dog to obdients lessons and cleaning up the acidents..
    All my pets are recsue animals and I wouldn’t give them up for anything!! I hope this helps you.

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:16 pm

      Allie, I can’t believe how many fur babies you’ve had and have! That is wonderful. And yes, it does help tremendously – it helps me realize that I do not want to be the one walking and feeding and taking the dog to obedience lessons and cleaning up the accidents!!!

  5. Lynda Cook

    March 31, 2014 at 11:12 am

    I’m thinking you should get just a small dog for the boys, it also teaches them responsibility, but on the other hand if your not home much and travel lots then it’s not a good idea to have a dog

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:17 pm

      That’s very true. We don’t do a ton of travelling but I can certainly see us doing more as the boys get older. Definitely something to consider.

  6. Judy C (Judy Cowan)

    March 31, 2014 at 11:12 am

    We have 4 pets – 2 cats & 2 poodles! Good luck on this one, the only advice I can give is don’t give in until you are ready to look after it. No matter how many promises are made it is often Mom who is left looking after the dog.

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      Yes, that is EXACTLY what I think will happen… which is why I’m digging my heels in. For now.

  7. BobbiJo Pentney

    March 31, 2014 at 11:42 am

    We got a dog before children and it helped to prepare us for the responsibility of another life. Then we had two cats dropped off at our house and we took them in.

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      Thanks for the insight BobbiJo! I definitely agree that pets are a great way to learn responsibility,

  8. nicolthepickle

    March 31, 2014 at 11:52 am

    We had goats, dogs, chickens, cats and various other animals when I was younger, but we lived in the country. There is no way I’d want an indoor pet. I’m open to an outdoor one if I don’t have to look after it. It doesn’t try to come in all the time, or make a mess of my lawn. So that pretty much means no.

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      Hahaha you had goats! That’s pretty epic.

  9. Jessica

    March 31, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Glad I am not the only one feeling this way! I’ve got a 6 and 4 year old as well and they’ve been begging…..but honestly I feel like I just got through cleaning up caca and I am not ready for anymore caca yet! :)

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      Hear hear! It feels like we just got our little guy toilet trained… I’m not ready to deal with that either!

  10. Chandra Christine O'Connor

    March 31, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    I have a Lab and and chihuahua, we always have pets. come on mom get a dog get a dog get a dog everybody now!

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:24 pm

      Ha! I don’t usually fall to peer pressure :)

  11. Darlene Schuller

    March 31, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    oh Miss Lena, it’s gonna happen lol

    We convinced our parents, my children convinced me. In all scenerios, us kids sucked at the dog job, Mom & Dad ended up doing the taking care of it while we relished in the licks and lovings.

    Those summer walks together with the dogs we’ve had over time were beautiful… what was not was cleaning up after 1 got worms… ewww

    Stand firm. I wish I had, but like the brave Maternal Soldiers before you, I do believe our “NO’s” got shot down and we surrendered.

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:25 pm

      Ah… this is invaluable. I know how wonderful it would be to go on family walks. And I know the boys would cherish the licks and lovings. But everything else….

      • Darlene Schuller

        April 1, 2014 at 8:19 pm

        yes! always remember… everything else……

        • Lena

          April 5, 2014 at 8:36 pm

          I will!!

  12. Amy brown

    March 31, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    We just got a kitten in August, my daughter wanted a dog but I said no way I’m picking up doo-doo! She loves the cat, and it ate a hair tie and I paid $1000 to have it removed, so apparently I love that darn cat too!

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:26 pm

      ACK! See, I feel like I would do the same… and that’s why I want to stay firm, because I don’t want to spend $1000 on something like that!

  13. Flora M

    March 31, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    That was just too flipping funny !!! ROFL
    I think I have recovered enough to type now.
    I had rabbits and cats growing up as I lived on the 2nd floor apartment in the house my parents owned.
    Pets are a good way to teach younger children about responsibility, but I do agree with some of the other readers that it is usually mom (or dad) that end up doing most of the work.
    You also need to think about your current lifestyle – like when you travel – who would look after the dog if you aren’t able to take it with you ? Are you prepared for all the added costs (“fixing”, annual shots, food, toys, license etc) ? Are you prepared for all the extra vacuuming and dusting (pet hair), and floor washing (rainy/snowy days) that will come with a dog ? Are you prepared for the possible chewing of furniture or shoes or “kids toys that accidentally got left out” ?
    Yep, I’ve been through all that (well, my daughter experienced the chewing of the kids toys with her dog not me) so I thought it would only be fair to warn you ;)

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 6:54 pm

      I am soooo grateful for this! No, I am not prepared for ANY of the occurrences you listed above. I’m not saying I’ll never be…. but I’m not ready now. Thank you Flora!!

  14. Nadia

    March 31, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    This made me laugh and laugh. It’s something I struggle with daily and yet I know that we can’t. It’s not fair to the dog. We’re just too busy…. But then theirs @MommasGoneCity and this http://hopeshared.com/22-photos-that-prove-babies-need-pets-number-17-especially/. #killmenow

    • Lena

      March 31, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      OMG Nadia… OMG. That was…. sigh.

  15. Erika E

    March 31, 2014 at 11:44 pm

    I didn’t have pets growing up, my parents wouldn’t let me. Now I have two dogs and five cats. And I tell everyone I’m making up for the fact that my parents wouldn’t let me have a pet growing up. :)

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:11 am

      Interesting! I don’t know if having pets growing up would have made a difference… I just know that I’m not ready to take on the responsibility just yet…

  16. NT

    April 1, 2014 at 1:01 am

    I’m standing firm and we still have no pets. But, I did tell my son that when he’s older and shows me he’s responsible (his iPod is missing right now) we would consider getting one for him. I’m just hoping he gives up on the idea, or really if he does become responsible before he moves out, then I’ll be shocked and he really would deserve a pet :)

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:12 am

      “If he becomes responsible before he moves out”… that had me chuckling!!

  17. Soozle

    April 1, 2014 at 9:27 am

    Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh :)

    My advice? Take the boys to a local animal shelter (with clear intentions that this is a VISIT ONLY) to PLAY with the animals if they are really intent on having a pet.. They can still bond a little with the animals, but no commitment to you :)

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:13 am

      That is a pretty wonderful idea Soozle! I may just have to look into that :)

  18. Stephanie LaPlante

    April 1, 2014 at 5:21 pm

    Pets often just happen. Once they’re in your life, you just know it’s meant to be. They’re responsible for so many smiles. I’m a proud “crazy” cat mommy of 7. Most rescues I never planned.

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:14 am

      That is so wonderful, I had no idea you had 7 cats!

      • Stephanie LaPlante

        April 5, 2014 at 5:09 pm

        I can hardly believe it myself lol. Our newest cat was a stray that someone shot in the head. This cold winter was our first excuse for letting him in, but…we fell in love…again.

  19. jaimeem

    April 1, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    My hubby and I never intended to have ANY pets. At all. None. We now have a cat, two birds, and turtles. All are rescues. The cat was found in our apartment hallway as a kitten abandoned. Someone knocked on our door asking if it was ours. The cat rubbed up on my legs, and then 15 minutes later I was off to the store to buy pet supplies while my husband kept it company in the house.
    I bought my a bird, she had been asking for one for months. Then she decided she didnt want it and gave it back. We found an unwanted bird on kijiji as a companion for the first bird.
    The turtles were going to be buried in the dirt in the back of an apartment building since a tenant was moving. My husband said he’d take them instead.
    We’re bleeding hearts I guess. Never planned to have a pet. Ended up with 5.

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:17 am

      Jaime, thank you so much for sharing your experience. The world needs more kind hearts! Such a sweet thing to read.

  20. sarah sar

    April 1, 2014 at 9:46 pm

    nope, never had any pets (except for fish in an aquarium) and never intend to due to family allergies.

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:17 am

      I had aquarium fish too! But my dad ended up taking care of them after a few months, LOL!

  21. Angie In My 30s

    April 2, 2014 at 9:09 am

    omg that photo might be THE cutest thing I’ve ever seen …
    What a sweet face!!!

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:24 am

      I know… its hard to say no, isn’t it?

  22. Darrah Bailey

    April 2, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    No dog as of yet but great read!

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:25 am

      Thanks Darrah!

  23. Chandra Christine O'Connor

    April 2, 2014 at 4:59 pm

    dog hair is a condiment in our house lol

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:25 am

      Um… I think that’s exactly what I want to avoid, Chandra!!

  24. Holly

    April 4, 2014 at 1:18 am

    Haha, I wish you luck standing your ground! I definitely understand though. Dogs are a lot of responsibility, especially when you don’t have a lot of time to commit.

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:27 am

      That’s it exactly. I can’t even find time to clean my bathroom sink.. let alone take care of another mammal!!

  25. Tricha

    April 4, 2014 at 10:02 am

    HaHa! My eight year old has been begging for a pet especially now that her two friends on our street got the most adorable pups and friends of ours just brought their cutest puppy to our home recently. My answer is, your little sister is your pet, that’s why we had her, go play with her. (I was given the evil eye)

    • Lena

      April 5, 2014 at 8:28 am

      Oh gosh how I LOVE that! And considering Reid looks like a pug, I wonder what Ryder’s reaction would be to that??

  26. Lena

    April 5, 2014 at 8:26 am

    We’ll see…. I can hold out for pretty long if I need to!

  27. Melinda L.

    April 6, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    It’s tricky…. so far we can get away with it because of our allergies and his young age.

    • Lena

      April 6, 2014 at 7:09 pm

      That’s good – hopefully you can get away with it as he grows too!

  28. Susan T.

    April 12, 2014 at 4:54 pm

    I understand your reluctance because dogs are a lot of work but they are so rewarding too. I have cats because they are less demanding! :)

    • Lena

      May 4, 2014 at 2:09 pm

      That may be an option!

  29. Debbie S.

    April 22, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    I have 2 cats and a dog, I’m allergic to them all, but mainly to the cats. My son brought a cat home from school, it’s feet were frozen white, and it was starving and had been abused. you couldn’t touch it from the waist to butt, it would scream in pain. One of his buddies was supposed to take it. Yeah, right!
    Well it nurtured along, and loved going outside. It started getting chubby, and we just thought that it was doing well. Not!
    Little did I know cats are very promiscuous, and well we had some kittens. Got 3 of them given away, but my other son wanted a pet of his own, yep you heard me right. We ended up keeping one of them. Thank goodness for allergy meds. But I do loved all my pets dearly!
    Yes, I talked my parents into pets when I was little, we always had a dog, and really I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way!

    • Lena

      May 4, 2014 at 2:10 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing your story Debbie! I can tell from your avatar that you are a pet lover!

  30. Rick F

    April 25, 2014 at 9:38 am

    I lmao when I read ‘no f*ckng way’ How can you say no to a dog?

    • Lena

      May 4, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      Hahaha apparently I can – and did!

  31. Rob Brydon

    June 11, 2014 at 11:58 pm

    Too funny and I can totally relate as I am not a fan of scooping the poop and with every dog comes a lot of that task. So we have a cat and he entertains himself often hugged and squeezed by our boys but he lets them know when the limit is reached. Thanks for the story!

  32. Meredith Agius

    August 20, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    Well, that was definitely not ‘the talk’ I was imagining, but only when they are able to help care for the dog and show that they will be able to keep doing that.

  33. Jodi Mitrovic

    September 7, 2014 at 11:49 am

    I don’t know what I’ll do when this comes up, I’m really truly torn. I want one for our family but without any of the responsibilities. Let’s make a robot puppy :)

  34. kathy downey

    March 17, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    I believe every child should have a pet growing up,you would be surprised how much they learn .Animals are amazing.

  35. kathy downey

    September 4, 2016 at 11:14 am

    If as a parent you are not ready for a pet you should never get one because the kids want one because they come with many responsibilities and it would not be fair to the pet.

  36. kathy downey

    September 24, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    Did you ever get a pet ?

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Toronto Blogger, Social Media Strategist for Listen to Lena Inc. Television & Radio Personality, Columnist and Speaker. Family Travel Expert. Star Wars Fanatic. Perfecting the Art of Conversuasion. Read More…

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