At first, it was kind of cute.
After tucking Ryder into his toddler bed, he would fall asleep for an obligatory three hours… then lightly pad across the hallway, enter our room and crawl into our bed. At the time I was pregnant with Reid, and knew that my alone time with my little buddy was drawing to a close. Hence, I turned a blind eye (literally, I didn’t even bother to get up) and let him stay the night.
Then Reid came along, and I soon discovered that breastfeeding in the middle of the night was vastly easier when I could just roll over and relinquish a boob. So, he too found a home for the night on our bed – but only after we kicked Ryder to the curb (I wasn’t willing to chance Reid being crushed by a toddler who has a penchant for sleeping sideways). And with a brand new big boy’s bed and bedroom, for at least 6 months Ryder stayed away, reveling in the novelty of his new room (actually I think he just cottoned onto the fact that Reid woke up crying exactly every three hours – and couldn’t deal with those sleep conditions).
For a while, there was balance in the force.
Reid slept between hubby and I, letting us know when he wanted a midnight snack. Ryder bounced on our bed at 6:00am, willing us all awake as only 2-year-olds can.
But then, Ryder decided that perhaps he didn’t love his new room after all, and he wanted to sleep with mommy and daddy. After all, why should only Reid have access to the prime real estate? Reid was now over a year old, and having never been introduced to alternate sleeping arrangements, literally thought our bed was HIS own.
One night, late last June, I came to bed after a late night of blogging to find this:
“Past 1:00am, finally done blogging, drag myself to bed… only to find the real estate occupied by the 3 stooges.”
I sighed in defeat and made my way to Ryder’s room, where he has a big, comfy, EMPTY double bed.
But my slumberous ways were short-lived; realizing that his drink ticket didn’t come to bed, Reid lightly padded across the hallway, entered Ryder’s room and crawled into his bed. And lifted my top for some boobage.
GAH! Was it so unrealistic to want a solid 6 hours of sleep? Hell-o!
That was just over a year ago. And today, although Reid no longer has access to my boobs, he does still sleep with us. Since you’re wondering, yeah, so does Ryder. Here’s how it happens:
8:00pm: Begin the boys’ bedtime ritual.
8:30pm: Tuck the boys in bed, after an obligatory 3-4 short bedtime stories.
9:00pm: Scream at Ryder to get back to bed, to stay in his room.
9:10:pm: Check on Reid sleeping peacefully in his room.
9:30pm: Have complete confidence that both boys are out of our hair. For the time being.
…
…
…
12:00am: Ryder makes his way back to our bed. Sleeps at the foot like a puppy. We don’t even hear him come in.
2:00am: Reid stomps into our room. Clambers up on the bed noisily. Searches for the best pole position. Kicks me in the face twice before he successfully snuggles against me. Pinches my husband’s back for good measure. Sometimes says sleepily, “I lub you, Mommy”.
Seriously, like I’m going to kick out a cherubic little angel who says “I lub you” before fluttering his eyelashes off to sleep?
So, my sleeplessness is self-imposed, because I don’t have the will or desire to repeatedly cart Ryder back to bed. (He’ll just return, it’s been done. Sometimes, up to 3 times in one night.) And, I simply can’t remove any creature that cuddles up and whispers sweet nothings before drifting off to dreamland.
Yes, I sleep with three dudes. No, I don’t really sleep; I toss and turn until the sun peeks through my shutters.
Often, when I attend overnight press trips, the most exciting part is sleeping in my own bed – with no nocturnal interruptions. While other moms are gung-ho to party it up through the night, I’m usually the one changing into pyjamas in a determined, unapologetic fashion. I get to SLEEP tonight, dammit, and I SHALL have my slumber.
And so, it’s been 4 years, 3 months and 5 days since I last enjoyed a well-rested night in my own bed. As much as I like to complain that I’m a #zombiemom, etc, etc… truth is, I do rather enjoy being surrounded by warmth and pure, innocent love. I know they won’t want to sleep with me forever, so you know what? Come on in. Let’s snuggle.
How old were your kids when they finally stopped crawling into bed with you? Do you still co-sleep with your children? Have you ever?
omg that picture is the sweetest thing!!
but it’s time to lay down the law missy! lol …
i know what you mean though, they are so sweet & tender & little you feel obligated. But co-sleeping just takes a toll on the mom, lets face it. Dad’s sleep through anything.
Hahaha I know, I’m totally guilty of being a spineless jellyfish. And HECK YA, my husband doesn’t lose a wink of sleep. Grrr.
“Seriously, like I’m going to kick out a cherubic little angel who says “I lub you” before fluttering his eyelashes off to sleep?”
Awwwwww.
I have two daughters one of them sleeps. The other, who is 10 months old, still wakes up at 3 to eat, and she’s starving again at 6.
Ah, I remember those “starving at 6” days. I almost feel like that was the hardest time to breastfeed, because I knew that my sleep time was over – I couldn’t roll over and go back to bed. Ryder would be up to bottle feed at 6am too, and that was EVEN WORSE, because I’d have to drag my sleepy butt downstairs to mix the formula. Bah! Don’t miss it at all, LOL!
I would never judge someone for co-sleeping, if that’s what they choose and want to do.
If you don’t like it, though, now is the time to put an end to it. You’ll be tired for a couple of weeks while you repeatedly Supernanny them back to their own rooms (“goodnight darling, time for bed” “goodnight darling, time for bed” “goodnight darling, time for bed” “goodnight darling, time for bed”) but eventually they’ll figure it out.
I never really put up with my toddlers sleeping with us unless they were sick – I’m far too selfish for that – but in the last 6 months or so, I’ve been back-sliding…with my SEVEN and NINE year-olds!!
Ah, the all-night Supernanny. THAT is what I dread – taxiing them back and forth. For now, laziness (and hence, sleeplessness) prevails :(
I remember being about 6 or 7 and having a similar relapse with my own mom, ha!
I can totally relate. For us it’s been almost 6 years. We have 3 kids. But like you, I don’t mind it. I don’t get a lot of sleep but I do love that I have everyone who is the most important to me is right beside me. And you’re right there wil come a day when they’re not goin to want to be in our beds so I cherish these moments now.
“I do love that I have everyone who is the most important to me is right beside me.” << I couldn't agree more! xo
It’s still happening and he is 3. :P
I figure I’ve got at least another 3-4 years myself ;P
Haha aw Lena! Although I don’t wish you sleeplessness, this post is kinda adorable!
:) Thanks, they are adorable – that’s why I can’t say no!
Story of my life!!! My two and a half year old slept in our bed until the age of 2 for the same reasons as yours. And now, though she gets to sleep in her toddler bed, she will wake up in the middle of the night, and I can choose to sleep on her floor or bring her to my bed. I choose to bring her to my bed, because there is nothing better than waking up to a beautiful baby girl who says “Hi Mama! Hug!” as soon as she opens her eyes :)
Ooooh, a hug upon waking. I can’t think of anything sweeter than that :)
So I don’t have children, but Chelsea (my dog) has sleeping habits like Reid. At least you get sweet nothings!
Hahaha, well, thanks for putting it in perspective for me! Ryder sleeps like a little puppy at our feet, it’s so cute. I honestly don’t even know he’s there… except when I stretch out and, you know, kick him :)
I used to feel so superior because my son always slept in his own crib, and then in his own bed. But then we moved in April, and now he refuses to sleep in his own room.
I’m sure if it’s that the air quality is better in my room (which it is), or that my bed is comfier than his (which it is), but the little devil wants to sleep with me every night. He even wants me to cuddle with him while he goes to sleep. And I do, since I don’t get much cuddle time working full-time, and it’s quiet time for me to read. My husband usually just goes and sleeps in my son’s bed, so it’s not crowded anywhere. And my son is recently potty trained at night, so I’m getting up with him every 3 hours to go pee anyway, so it’s just more convenient to be in with me.
There are lots of reasons and excuses why my son co-sleeps with me, but it really comes down to me being too lazy to supernanny him back to sleeping by himself in his own bed. I would rather sleep those extra few minutes with him than stress about trying to make him sleep in his own bed.
My husband decamped to my son’s bed for a while too, and sometimes I’ll still push him out because I need a little breathing room.
I’m no supernanny either, and the way I see it, if you can’t beat ’em, let them join you :)
I did 9 years of co sleeping before finally getting my bed back. It’s a wonderful thing. I do still sneak in snuggles at nap time though.
Nine years… you are my HERO. But I’ve told you that before, right?
Must admit, After breaking my tailbone in childbirth, cosleeping started as a necessity, but I wouldn’t change it for the world!
Anyone who breaks her tailbone in childbooth can do whatever the hell she pleases. Ouch!
I’m headed down the same road as you Lena. I don’t have the heart to put David in his own room and I just LOVE having him in bed with us!! In three months when baby number two is here, I don’t know what I’ll do…I don’t have a plan. But I’ll cross that bridge when it comes. Like you wrote, I know that one day they won’t want to sleep in bed with me, so I cherish it now! Great post :)
You’ll make it work, Liza. Perhaps David will de-camp just like Ryder did, in favour of better sleep conditions. Or maybe you’ll have four to a bed. Regardless, as you said, cherish it now!
Ah, yes. Rolling over and relinquishing the boob was commonplace with my first-born. And she slept in our bed quite often even after she weaned. Neither my husband nor myself had the energy to resist the convenience. But boy, did we pay for it later. I need my space when I sleep so waking up with pointy elbows digging into your back was not the ideal way to start of an early morning before heading out to work. My daughter is now seven and I think we’ve finally moved beyond the “I’m scared. I need someone to stay in my bed with me.” stage with her. It was much easier with my second child who took to the bottle. Plus, he’s always been such an angelic sleeper.
PS. This is such an adorable pic of the three stooges! *snort*
Ah, pointy elbows. Thankfully the boys still have rather smooth elbows… it’s the kicking that really does it to me. You’re lucky that your little guy took to sleeping alone :) He’s such a doll!
HEY LENA,
though I absolutely do not agree with co-sleeping … this picture is so freaking adorable!!
you have a very beautiful family!
Thanks Dawn :) I love the picture too.
AWWW… your boys are adorable! I love when babies sleep with one arm in the air, and both you boys are doing it!!!
Love the picture – too priceless. I’m in the same boat too. Our oldest boy (3 yrs) sleeps in his bed for a few hours but only after we spend 30 min watching him fall asleep – gah, how do you stop that? then he makes his way to our bed for the remainder of the night. Catch 22 – sometimes I love it, cue extra snuggles and sometimes I hate it, cue sleep deprived mommy.
That’s exactly how I feel – I don’t know whether to love it or hate it. For now, it’s manageable – and they’re too cute to refuse!
What a lovely post Lena and the pictures of Ryder and Reid are so adorable. They are like little angels sleeping peacefully…..
Thanks Marissa – yes, they really are little angels (most of the time!)
So very sweet! My girls don’t really like sleeping with me, but I have to admit, I love it when they do. Reverse problem? Cliche and annoying, I know – but enjoy it while it lasts!
:)
Your girls don’t LIKE sleeping with you! Gah! Reverse problem indeed!
That is soooo stinkin cute!!! Erin magically appears in our bed once in a while. I’m fine with it as long as she’s on the outside and my husband is in the middle – but when she’s in the middle, she ends up kicking me with her Jimmy legs and I can’t get a proper sleep. Our 20-month old is still trapped in the crib so she has no idea what’s going on outside of her bedroom. My husband wants to put her in a toddler bed and I said HELLLLLZ NOOOO. Let’s keep her in the crib as long as we can cuz I ain’t havin 4 monkeys in a queen sized bed!!
Heehee thanks so much :) I totally endorse your position to keep the little one in her crib for as long as possible! How I wish my toddler was still in his crib!
I have to admit I love my sleep! Everyone has their own idea of parenting at bedtime. When my daughter was born I did keep her beside me for easy feedings but she slept in a little basinet beside my bed. When she was a toddler, I would put her to bed at 7:30pm after lots of reading and snuggles. I would check on her a half hour later and she wouldn’t be in her bed. She would carefully crawl into my bed but the only thing that you could see was a bump under the covers. I think she thought that if she hid, I couldn’t find her and carry her back to her own bed. Being a single Mum, I suppose I didn’t mind so much but they grow up and move out far too soon. Sara moved out May 1, 2012. I loved your article, Lena…so funny!
Oh, my heart started to hurt when I read “Sara moved out May 1, 2012″… makes me want to hang on to them even tighter. Thanks so much for sharing your heartwarming story :)
Ah. Story of my life!
We have a king size bed and it’s still too small for the four of us. Why? Why do they have to sleep sideways??
And, btw, that photo is perfection.
“Why? Why do they have to sleep sideways??”
This question is one of life’s greatest mysteries. Currently nursing a sore neck and back from having to pretzel around sideways sleeping toddlers :)
This sounds so much like me and my son! I have recently started to put my son in his own bed, and it goes something like this. I put him to bed, he gets up about 5 times, finally I threaten to take out tv so he stays in bed only to yell for me about 239191 times, even though he wants or needs nothing. He will finally fall asleep after a couple hours, only to make his way back to my bed about 2am. He too, sleeps all the way over on the other side of the bed, hoping to not wake me so I won’t take him back to bed. It tiring and has went on like this for about 3 weeks now. I will be happy when he just goes to bed without getting up, and I could live with him coming into my bed in the middle of the night.
Every time I spend the night with my grandchildren I know there will be one or two beside me in the morning!
Ah, but that is so adorable, because you know it’s just for ONE night!
That was an awesome picture!
Thank you! It always brings a smile to my face :)
What an adorable picture! Your boys sound so sweet and good-natured!
Thank you Victoria! Sweet and good natured… maybe when they sleep, ha!
My children were about 12 but still cuddle on the couch with movies.
That’s so sweet :) I hope cuddling time goes on for many, many more years… maybe just not overnight though, LOL!
It does, overnight till about 5 and they crawled in on my side and dad tucked them back in bed after 10 or so minutes. They are like baby cubs.
:) Well, 2013 is here and they’re still in my bed!
Aww, that picture is adorable! I have never co-slept with my children. Well, there is the occasional night here and there but maybe happens once or twice every six months or so. Too scared someone would get rolled over or pushed off. hehe!
Hahaha I used to worry about that but at this age, I say enter at their own risk!
I love the article and the picture is great!
Thank you Penny!
I do co-sleep but my little one is furry. Unfortunately I have no experience with getting little munchkins off to bed and keeping them out of yours but I have heard many a friend’s story. That’s when I tell them that I slept in until 10:00 and they then try to strangle me LOL
LOL I can see why your friends would be a bit envious!
this is hilarious! i say that only because i don’t have kids and therefore only share my bed with the beau and the fur baby – both of whom position themselves in such a way that i only get one sliver of bed. would i change it? not a chance.
Hahaha fur babies can definitely take up your bed too!
What an adorable picture I enjoy snuggling with my little ones we call it snuggle buggling lol
Buggling, I love it Jennifer!
I know this is an old post so you surely arent still dealing with….but had you guys ever thought just caving in and getting a King sized bed would have helped? I love mine and cant believe we ever slept comfortably in anything smaller.
Hahaha Lisa I just had to e-mail you with the sad truth; 1) we are still dealing with it, and 2) that IS a king bed! LOL!
I totally agree with co sleeping and I did with my first for just over 18 months until we decided that my boyfriend and I needed our cuddle time in the bed (he used to sleep on the couch because we only have a queen size and my son also likes to sleep sideways with his feet in your back or face). I honestly loved it and thought it was cute until he started digging his little toes in my back lol and I missed cuddling with my boyfriend. Our second child I knew I didn’t want to get him used to sleeping in our bed so that we could have our time together and get a decent sleep with no feet in the face. So I made sure to stay firm with putting him to sleep in the crib. I’d bring him into the bed while I nursed mostly because it was more comfortable to lay there than to sit and I managed to stay awake so that I could put him back in the crib. I’ve read articles that say there are many positive things that come from co sleeping..so I’m totally for it if you enjoy it :)
That’s wonderful to hear, Mandy! I think co-sleeping has taken its toll on us – wish I was more strict with my two year old.
I promise you will miss this someday…your fam is adorable btw!
Thank you Jenne!
Cute! All my kids slept with me also. :D
:) They’re kind of hard to resist, eh Amy?
super cute picture! our little girl is already figuring out that sleeping with us is better than in her crib alone. since she’s only 3.5 months, and i give up over half the bed for her, using my arms to create an effective, if not hilarious looking barrier. my hub and i must look completely ridiculous hanging off the remaining half. i miss sleep too Lena ;)
Hahaha I can absolutely picture that Jen! Thank you so much for sharing!
Omgosh, it was so long ago that I don’t remember when I kicked them out of the bed! But I do remember them laying sidways and upside down at every possible moment! Lol, this post made me remember and appreciate those days. I’d love for my kids to be that age again and come sleep with me!
Aw… see? I think I’ll miss it one day too :) Thanks for sharing your memories, Anne!
the picture is priceless, i remember those days
Still one of my fave pictures evah :)
haha that was funny,I never really had that problem my girls were heavy sleepers so once asleep they never woke up unless they were sick and threw up all in their bed, or had nightmares.
You’re so fortunate to have girls who STAY in their own bed!
Been there… then they grow up to become teens and you still can’t sleep because you worry about them!
I believe you Ann – completely!
Love that picture!
:) Thanks Debbie!
Lena, that photo is PRICELESS! I even showed my husband and he laughed! We now have 2 boys and I can picture myself seeing my husband and 2 sons in this same position one day. I agree with you that cosleeping with a baby who is nursing is so much easier in the middle of the night.
Hahaha I’m glad you both enjoyed it!
yes..my youngest still co-sleeps..bought a crib, new mattress..she refused to sleep in it..need to pry her out into her own bed now..help!
my dau7ghter still crawlsd in bed with me shes 3,
I’ve never been a co sleeper, but I have had a few nights where they crawled in… loved those moments. It never ceases to amaze me the positions some of these children get into in their sleep. My daughter is all over and like a ninja, only horizontal. Every morning she tells me she had the best sleep lol.
That brought me back to the days of shared beds. I finally had enough when there was three boys and a dog. There was no room left for me. It finally had to change.
This sure hits home.
Ugh… 5 flipping long years… I am so glad that habit is DONE! Mind you, my son still wakes ritually like an alarm clock every night between 1-3 for a drink of water. Something I don’t think I will ever break him of as he was fed by G-tube for almost 2 years with most of his feed coming in over night to avoid having him sit still for an hour while his feeding occurred… another thing I am glad we have over come. Sleep well my friend… Any chance you can :)