I said SQUEE! – not squeal – so get your mind out of the gutter!
Let’s be honest – men THINK they know how to make us SQUEE!, but really, they have no idea. Flowers, chocolate, champagne? Yeah, they have their time and place – namely 8:00pm on February 14th. But for the rest of the year, don’t think we melt over sugary confections and short-lived foliage.
(ATTENTION MEN: Though that doesn’t mean you should stop gifting them – it’s your duty to spoil us even when we tell you not to. “You shouldn’t have!” = You shouldn’t have bought the second-least expensive bouquet. Aim higher next time, please and thank you.)
So today, I’m here to share five of the most trusted ways to a woman’s heart. They may seem unconventional, but they’re tried, true and sure to please that special lady in your life. Don’t believe me? The results are based on a survey of 1,000 women across Canada. (Note: there was no survey.)
1. A Free Product Coupon.
Nothing makes a woman jump for joy more than being able to redeem a kick-ass coupon. In fact, given the choice of a box of chocolates or free product coupons for Olivieri Pasta, I’d take the pasta coupons every time. If you don’t have an FPC on hand, go big and go for the gift card. There are few pleasures in life as great as spending someone else’s money.
2. Time Away from YOU.
You don’t need to send her off to a spa or arrange a special day of pampering. Just leave, and be sure to take the kids with you. And don’t come back for at least 8 hours. Then she can do what she really wants to do: reread 50 Shades of Grey while eating cool whip straight from the tub; watch the 14.5 hours of TV she’s got backed up on her PVR; and organize her free product coupons.
3. Her Correct Starbucks Order.
Are there any straight men who can successfully fulfill this Starbucks order?
Venti 1 pump caramel, 1 pump white mocha, 2 scoops vanilla bean powder, extra ice frappuchino with 2 shots poured over the top (apagotto style) with caramel drizzle under and on top of the whipped cream, double cupped.
Believe me, there are men out there who can. So there’s no excuse to mess up her Tall Caramel No foam, No Whip, Extra Caramel Macchiato. In fact, being able to return with a woman’s correct Starbucks order is next to saintliness. We’re not asking for much! Just a decent $4.59 coffee beverage….