I’m sure y’all have come across multiple tests online that claim to predict your age – or spit out what your “real age” is in terms of health, wealth, etc. Well, my husband has come up with his own age test, and he boasts that it can accurately determine a person’s generation within seconds, and with minimal effort.
But first, the background story.
My husband is a naturally curious individual, and has been known to ask questions pertaining to age, ethnicity, marital status, weight (YES, weight) and the like… to people he has recently met. Ugh.
I’ll normally shoot him a cut-eye or interject with a trilling, high-pitched laugh – “Oh honey, you can’t ask someone that! You don’t have to answer,” I’ll clarify, my face conveying massive apology.
To which he’ll roll his eyes and ask the person point blank: “Do you mind if I ask your age/ race/ weight/ insert-personal-and-potentially-offensive-question-here?”
Of course, that can make someone about 100 times more uncomfortable, because really, if you don’t want to answer, you shouldn’t have to.
However, I should insert a disclaimer: my husband is a jovial, easy going and completely personable guy, and he’s not asking to be creepy or intrusive. He simply enjoys meeting and getting to know people, and if the conversation evolves – and finding out someone’s age or ethnicity would allow him to continue the conversation in a more meaningful way – he’s not against probing. It’s harmless, and he’s a top-notch sales professional who’s accustomed to asking questions, so I do get it.
That doesn’t mean I don’t scream at him later, of course.
(As an aside – I’m referring to those in close proximity of our own ages, +/- about 10 years. He would never disrespect our elders by asking their age, as he firmly understands the inherent courtesy of not challenging generational and cultural traditions/ taboos.)
And so, after debating with me back and forth the stigmas associated with simply getting to know a person better, he came up with his own age test. Are you ready? Here goes.
When guests come over, at some point he’ll retrieve his favourite childhood toy from its secret hiding place (he rotates the location so even I don’t know where to look). Then he’ll say, “Look what I found at my parents’ house the other day! Man, this was my favourite toy!”
1. If the person exclaims, “That’s Thunder Punch He-Man!” – he can summarize their age is between 30-40 years old.
2. If the person guesses, “Oh, that’s He-Man right? What kind is that?” – they are usually over 40 years old.
3. If the person stares blankly at the action figure, we’ve got an under 30 year old on our hands. (See part B.)
Okay, part B. When my husband clarifies, “This is He-Man, he was popular at the same time as Voltron. Which is what Mighty Morphin Power Rangers copied.”
1. If they know what Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are, they’re 25-30 years old.
2. If they say “Mighty Morphin what? I’ve heard of Power Rangers but not the Mighty Morphin stuff…” – then we need to check for ID, because they may be too young to consume alcohol.
So… what do you think of his age test? And, what toys would your age test include? Myself? I’d hold up my Peaches ‘n Cream Barbie… my Jem and the Holograms Rockin’ Roadster… and my Rainbow Brite.