OVER...Moments

Before we had baby, we decorated his crib with the most beautiful bedding set.
After we had baby, we were told that crib bumper pads were a suffocation hazard, and removed them immediately.

We swaddled baby tightly to keep him warm and comfortable.
When he developed heat rash, we never swaddled him again.

We hovered over baby when he sneezed one winter morning.
When the sneeze turned into a cold, we rushed him to the doctor.
When the cold sprouted a high fever, we rushed him to the hospital.

We read books about What to Expect while baby grew and developed.
We learned to expect the unexpected and threw the books away.

Before we had baby, we thought we’d be the coolest parents on the block.
After we had baby, we became the most neurotic.

We turned to Dr. Google when baby was sleeping.
When we couldn’t find an answer, we continued to Google while we should have been sleeping.

We bought the #1 Pediatrician recommended products without hesitation.
When we were told those products contained dangerous chemicals, we threw them all out.
We then spent a small fortune on certified organic everything.

Before we had baby, we thought we had it all figured out.
After we had baby, we figured we were wrong. Very wrong.

Of course, the above all pertained to our first baby. Yes, we were worrywarts. We were extreme. We were first time parents. We were OVERprotective.

Our second? I’m pretty sure he raised himself. And yet somehow, they both turned out right as rain.

Were you OVERprotective with your first? Do you remember some of the crazy lengths you went to?

I receive perks as a part of my affiliation with the Fisher-Price Ambassador program with Mom Central Canada.
The opinions in this blog are my own.

In December 2012, Penelope Trunk – an American businesswoman, author, blogger, and famed business advice columnist – wrote an inspirational blog post entitled 15 Things Overachievers Do. Myself, having transitioned from a corporate whiz kid to an entrepreneur in the past five years, was particularly intrigued – wishing to compare my own work ethic and qualities to those of a perceived “overachiever”.

Making lists. Taking drugs. Working for free. Selling out. Within moments of reading through the list, I realized that while Penelope was describing the theoretical habits of overachievers, she was also painting a picture of almost every new mom. Certainly, she hit a nerve with me personally; I identified with the need to overachieve, to strive for the best, to be perfect.

But WHY are new moms, by nature, overachievers? Are we programmed to simply want the best for our baby – or, has social pressure amplified our standards of successful parenting? Is second guessing and a guilty conscience part and parcel with raising a child, or do we bring it on ourselves as a side effect of setting the bar too high?

I’ve decided that 15 Things Overachievers Do can effectively be re-written for new moms.

1. “They use lists. High achievers organize their thinking with lists, they organize their time with lists, and when they want to spur their creativity, the best tool they have is to force themselves out of the comfort of their list.”

Have you ever witnessed a new mom count pees, poops and how long baby sleeps? Yeah, we write lists too. We also make a list of every thing we should be doing when we should be sleeping.

2. “They use pharmaceuticals. Adderall is de rigueur for the high-powered jobs in high-powered cities to the point that there is a shortage of available Adderall.”

Big deal. I popped Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle 3 times per day for six months in an effort to keep an ample milk supply. I also had a prescription for domperidone on file in case the herbal remedies didn’t do the trick (thankfully, they did).

3. “They let doors shut all the time. Overachievers know their mom was lying when she said they could be anything. So it’s not that big a deal when they see doors shut.”

A night life. A long, hot shower. A private moment on the toilet. A good night’s sleep. An interrupted meal. These are all the doors I have shut. Without my expressed written consent, mind you.

4. “They talk about their weaknesses. Not in a stupid way, like, “I wish I could not be so perfect.” But in a real way, because every strength comes with weaknesses and we’re not good at everything.”

I couldn’t breastfeed my first. I had no idea how to swaddle a newborn. It took me two months to learn how to burp my baby effectively. Oh, I had weaknesses, and I talked about them. And blogged about them.

5. “They work for free. Internships that are (illegally) unpaid, startups that are not (yet) funded, speeches and blog posts that help you do the (unavoidable) work of building your brand.”

If there is one mother in the history of this world who has ever been compensated for raising her children, I need to know who she is so I can shake her hand. Because at last check, every mom works for free.

Now I could go on, but I’m sure you see my point. There is a time in every mom’s life when she feels pressure to overachieve. And to those new moms, I say this: wait about 18 months, or until your next kid comes along. And then, miraculously, a new feeling washes over you…. it’s called, “Been there, done that.” 

I am part of the Fisher-Price Play Ambassador program and I receive perks as part of my affiliation.
The opinions on this blog are my own.

That’s me on April 13th, 2008.
The photo was taken on my 30th birthday!
There I was, 34 weeks pregnant…
…rocking pink David Dixon high heels.

It was my baby shower, and I was on top of the world.

I was OVERconfident.

The baby would arrive shortly, I knew.
No need for formula, I’d be breastfeeding, of course!
Maternity clothes? Pu-lease.
I’ll have my pre-baby body back in weeks. If not DAYS.
And what sleepless nights?
Baby would surely be a perfect, slumbering angel.

Reality check.

I gave up on breastfeeding after 3 days.
I wore my maternity jeans until Ryder was 10 months old.
I haven’t enjoyed an uninterrupted night of sleep since.

Truth is, before I was a mom, I was OVERconfident in my abilities to raise a child. Deluded into thinking that I’d naturally be the best mother in the world, I realized in a hurry that nothing comes naturally – unless you counted my penchant for breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.

Every day or so.

And through my experiences I can offer this shard of wisdom to first time moms-to-be: Having a baby will rip away every confidence, every ounce of pride, every moment of boastful foolishness. Having a baby makes you vulnerable. It’s the opposite of confidence; it’s a badge of uncertainty that will follow every fever, every missed curfew, every time your child happily skips away from you. Before I had a baby I was recklessly arrogant in my parenting abilities.

Now, I know better.

Next month, Fisher-Price will be launching their OVERjoyed campaign – a program which celebrates the Real Joys of Motherhood. The moments where we as mothers are OVERjoyed, but also those moments when we are OVERwhelmed, OVERhugged, OVERdue, OVERtired and of course OVERstimulated! (And all those other OVER… moments.)

The campaign will consist of mothers submitting photos with a one-line caption to really bring the photo to life. These images will be on the FisherPriceMoms.ca website, where moms can come to celebrate, commiserate, remember and support by looking through (and adding their own!) photos of the good, the bad, and most importantly, the REAL moments of motherhood that we’re all experiencing.

So, we can all have a laugh, a cry, and a sigh of relief knowing that we’re all there, together.

What are some of the OVER… moments that you’ve experienced as a mother?

I am part of the Fisher-Price Play Ambassador program with Mom Central Canada and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.