And other times, I break out in hives.
If you are a woman, chances are there’s been at least one time (read: many times) in your life that you’ve dreaded trying on clothes. Whether it be because you’re not at your ideal weight, have struggled with an unruly body part (sadly, my hips don’t lie) or are prone to Cameron Diaz syndrome (flat chest and butt), changing rooms can be your enemy.
(Of course, one could avoid changing room wars with diet and fitness, but… do you know how delicious a Chipotle Burrito Bowl is? Seriously, it’s life defining.)
Before having children, I had about 10 years in what I now call my Changing Room Champion phase. Yup; I could try on any outfit with some assurance that it would fit – as long as it came in “XS” (oh, to be skinny again!). However, after producing a couple of boys in a couple of years, I’m now firmly in the “M” zone and have clothing considerations I previously didn’t have to worry about:
1) Remember those unruly hips? Out of control now. I need a good pair of Spanx to get them back in line.
2) Where on earth did this boobage come from? Forget strapless numbers – these knockers need the full support of two very sturdy bra straps. Pushing them up is like trying to lift the rock of Gibraltar.
3) It’s no coincidence that I’ve been nicknamed Kiki Kardashian. Yes, my butt makes its own entrance.
4) Mummy Tummy. You know; that little bit of excess skin that just didn’t tighten up after your belly stretched out about 30 inches during pregnancy. Gah.
Now, I’m not here to counsel you on diet and exercise; I hear Jenny Craig knows a little about that. What I do want to share with you today are my tips for owning the changing the room – how to feel better about yourself when trying on clothes, and those tips and tricks that make the process less painful….