Before I had children, I romanticized what it would feel like to be a mother.
I envisioned having these perfect little humans – the spitting image of me, of course – who would be the center of my world. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them; my children would define and justify my existence.
I have children now – two perfect little boys, only one is the spitting image of me – and they are the center of my world. My pre-offspring predictions about how much I’d love my children were pretty spot on. But for all the feelings of love, anticipation, nurturing and excitement I’d felt, there was one I hadn’t counted on – guilt.
Mothers feel guilty, all the time.
I feel guilty about my choices and the choices I don’t make. I feel guilty when I take on too much and when I don’t take on enough. I feel guilty when I say no… and sometimes, I even feel guilty when I say yes.
Most of all, I worry that in our hectic, go-go-go lifestyle, we simply don’t have time to enjoy each other’s company; to do the simple things that bond us to one another.
So, some time ago, when the boys were just four- and two-years old, I started a tradition. On the first warm (ish) weekend in spring, we jumped in our car and went down to the beautiful lakefront in Oakville, Ontario for a walk. No toys, no electronics, no distractions. Just our family, walking together, laughing, stopping every now and then to examine a blooming flower or squeal at a suspicious-looking spider. It was exactly the type of activity I needed to assuage some of that mom guilt.
Four years have passed, and now the boys eagerly await the season’s first trip to the lake. This year, my husband wondered if, now older and much wiser to the use of tablets and video games, they’d be restless in a strictly outdoor setting. He needn’t have worried; left to their own entertainment, they did what little boys do.
They played rock, paper, scissors.
After a “best of 10”, they simply sat on the large rocks, watching the rolling, gentle waves of the lake lap over the shoreline. What I wouldn’t give to know their thoughts! Were they marvelling at the beauty of the surroundings? Perhaps they fancied jumping in the lake, splashing around in the cool waters. My eight-year old turned to me with a mischievous look on his face.
“Can we skip stones?”
I was delighted. He remembered! The boys love to skip stones (they were trained by their father, an honest-to-goodness stone skipping champion) and I watched as they made their way down to the water’s edge.
Of course, a brief game of stone skipping soon turned into a shot put competition between brothers. Being little boys, they naturally wanted to see who could make the biggest splash.
After that exertion, it was time for a break. How I love to see my boys sitting still! We chatted about school and their friends, and planned for their upcoming birthday parties. I can’t believe they’ll be seven- and nine-years old next month!
Spending time together. That’s truly the best gift to a parent, isn’t it? It’s the reason I’m so passionate about family travel, and taking day trips to the beach, a local attraction, or even a simple walk by the lake. The best part? The boys can take the lead.
Do you have a spring tradition? We love to get outdoors, particularly when the weather gets warmer. We’re always looking for new things to do, because time spent with family is worth every second. I’d love to hear your suggestions!
This year, I’ve partnered with Allen’s, one of Canada’s favourite juice brands for more than 80 years. Owned by a Canadian family company, Allen’s represents our memories and our values.
Follow me on social with the hashtag #MommyTalks to see what we’re up to over the next few months. Plus, I’ll share tips and tricks for making the most of family time.
And now, I really must take our lakeside conversation to heart and begin planning my boys’ birthday parties! I’m wondering if I should introduce an outdoorsy theme this year… sounds like a great idea to me!
This post is sponsored by Allen’s. The opinions on this blog, as always are my own.
What a wonderful read,i remember those days and the guilty feelings that come always second guessing yourself,did i do enough or not enough those were the days.Lena you are truly blessed with two handsome young boy.
Thank you Kathy! You’re too kind :) xoxo
Making a home made bird feeder or bird house would be a great idea! :)
We live in Oakville too and my grandson loves going to Coronation Park as soon as the weather warms up. We enjoy strolling along the beach, skipping stones in the lake, picnics in the park, kicking his soccer ball, playing catch, riding bikes along the trails and after the fresh air & exercise, enjoying ice cream.
I try to manage my guilty feelings as best I can and try not to stress too much about always doing everything right…I remind myself that I am doing my best…I think traditions like these are great for our children and ourselves.
I cherish time spend together as a family, it is so important to make time for it. Spending it outdoors, away from all the electronics is something we really enjoy doing.
Spending time together as a family really is the best memories one can have. My best memories from childhood are spending time at the lake and we now love going on day trips or overnight trips to stay at a cabin.
What a fun family outing! Nothing better than skipping stones and sipping juice :-)
Spending time together IS the best thing a family can do. They grow up too fast.
I was sharing this post with my daughter who just had her first child in Feb. and she can’t believe she’s feeling the Mommy guilt already….it does start early for us Mom’s
Great time , i love skipping rocks with my Grandson , looks like they had a great time together , your boys are so cute :)
They are adorable! I’ve never wanted kids myself but they are cute when they belong to others! Lol!
Isn’t feeling guilty all about being a moom because no matter how much you’ve done you always feel like you should have done more. Great Memories are the best thing you can give your kids !