You won’t find this t-shirt at Forever 21. It was removed from its stores and online shop over social outrage (translation: Twitter Fingers) that the t-shirt promoted rape culture. In fact, the backlash was so severe that the brand instantly pulled the shirt off its website, offering, “Forever 21 strives to exemplify the highest ethical standards and takes feedback and product concerns very seriously… We sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by the product.”
Exhibit A: The t-shirt in question. Let’s discuss.
Without knowing the context behind the outrage, at first glance, I’m not offended by this t-shirt at all. In fact, the opposite may be true: I can interpret this statement to be one of empowerment.
Don’t say maybe if you want to say no. To my sons, stand your ground. If you’re considering the moral, ethical or legal ramifications of following through with a decision, err on the side of caution and be true to yourself and what I’ve taught you. Be strong and have the guts to swim against the current, and while others may be persuaded, have the courage to walk away. Saying “maybe” often opens a door that is better off closed; if you want to say no, just say no.
Don’t say maybe if you want to say no. To my girlfriends, my fellow mamas who are juggling careers, families, social lives and household responsibilities, it’s okay to say no. In fact, say it more often than you say maybe. Society pressures us to do it all, and we’re in a constant state of half-agreements, like *maybe* I’ll come out to dinner for a girls night (I know I won’t, I’ll be too tired), or *maybe* I can host Easter dinner too (I will have to now, because I didn’t have the gumption to flat out decline). Know your limits and know that it’s okay to say no.
Don’t say maybe if you want to say no. To all those who are currently siding with the majority; to those who don’t take a stand out of fear of ridicule, or those who know better but don’t want to deal with the consequences of dissent, “maybe” is a dangerous stance. Educate yourself. Educate those around you. And when you’ve fully understood both the advantages and repercussions of the matter at hand, pick a side and stick to it.
However, with respect to my interpretation of the message, I’m in the vast minority. Almost immediately after this t-shirt was offered for sale, customers screamed for its removal, citing a strong reference to rape culture and the shaming of women.
Here’s the thing. I strongly believe that a woman has the right to say no even after she says yes. If fact, it’s her prerogative to say no even when you think she means maybe. In plain English, a woman can put up the stop sign at any damned time in any damned circumstance, just like men can, too. And I can see where some would interpret Forever 21’s t-shirt as sharing a message that does a disservice to women.
But can a single t-shirt really be singled out as promoting rape culture? How is this slogan perceived any differently that Nike’s “Just Do it” (come on girl, you know you want to), Gatorade’s “Is it in You?” (come on girl, you know it’s good) or Overstock’s “It’s All About the O” (come on girl, you know you’ll like it)?
Maybe – pun intended – it’s because this t-shirt was manufactured and distributed in 2016, when we’re quick to find offense where none exists. After all, one could even argue this saying just another variation of Yoda’s iconic line in Star Wars, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”
I can’t imagine he would get away with saying those inspiring words today.
I missed the brouhaha over this but sadly it’s just another day on the internet, where people are outraged over the most innocuous things. I agree, I do not see this as promoting rape culture. It’s a stretch.
Before I read your post I saw the picture of the t-shirt and I have to say that I am not offended either. I didn’t even think of it in a “rape context” until I read your post. It is like a lot of things it can be interpreted in different ways depending on how you are thinking. That being said I think they did the right thing to pull the shirt because it did offend some.
I do see how it can be taken in either vein, but today the sheep on social media rule. And unfortunately, companies have to be ultra cautious. With many examples at our disposal, I’ll choose the ‘Race Together’ campaign Starbucks attempted. Getting people to think about and discuss race is a bad thing? Forever 21 simply missed the addition of a hashtag such as #beyourboss or #teachthepower to have everyone flocking to purchase the shirt.
I see the statement it makes Don’t say maybe if you want to say no…people read too much into stuff
I wonder if this would have been so controversial if it was on a women’s shirt instead of one for men?
I’m not offended by this shirt. I wouldn’t wear it, but I’m not offended by it.
Don’t see it myself either.
I haven’t seen all the media outrage over this, but even so couldn’t it be turned the other way. Put the t-shirt on a woman and it means no.
Either way, I don’t see the negative connotations of this slogan. Well, besides that it says, “no”.
I like your interpretations of this shirt Lena. It gives me something to think about. Honestly, people just like to blow things out of proportion!
I totally missed this whole blow up over this shirt! I do appreciate your interpretation of the meaning as that is how i would view its message too!
I think it’s a sad commentary on the state of society when something like this can be taken in such a context. Without your post indicating what the backlash was, I would never associate this message in such a way.
I missed the story on this – but I DO cringe slightly at the shirt. My first instinct is not to think of it as empowering, but as ‘maybe’ equating ‘yes’ to be pressured into something…
Wasn’t aware of this. Interesting, although not a shirt I would wear.
Honestly i think some people have too much time on their hands to be worried about whats written on a T-Shirt.
See I seen that as encouraging someone to stand up for themselves not a rape shirt. We as women always want to please everyone.