“You’re so lucky”, sighs my sister-in-law, struggling to contain my 10-month old niece while she pulls away from her mother’s hold. “Your boys are past this stage; they’re so independent now. You have your life back.”
I reflect on her observation. Yes, we’ve come a long way. From diapers to bathroom independence, breastfeeding to watching them fetch their own snacks, my boys have achieved a certain level of autonomy that comes with the passage of time. And it is likely the main reason I know my family is complete; I revel in their independence, and am keenly aware that I no longer want to change diapers, burp babes or breastfeed.
Still, as excited as I am to have a small – but significant – piece of my life back, I fear that a child’s independence does not always arrive on mom’s terms, often sneaking up on us as we continue to cut grapes in half and check on sleeping children at night. It’s the day Ryder talked back to me, surprising me with his clever rebuttal and acute sense of injustice. It’s the pair of scissors that Reid reached for, not out of curiosity but because he wanted to strategically cut his art project in half. It’s the routine walk through the school playground without a backward glance as they both make their way to classes. The constant space between our lives that grows and grows until one day, I wait for a hurried weekend phone call, listening as they assure me they have clean clothes to wear and food to eat.
While some moms fear the emotional and physical distance that naturally comes with independence, I acknowledge that the trait is actually made up of several qualities, all of which I wish my sons to have. Independence inspires individuality, confidence and competence. It offers children the freedom and objectivity to make decisions and choices that they will undoubtedly learn from, which toughens their resolve and builds self-assurance. And after I allow them to make those choices, I’ll be there – offering support, love, and advice… but never “I told you so.”
My boys’ independence begins in the kitchen. With the start of the new school year, I have encouraged them to take a more active role in preparing their snacks and lunches. This means that they select their own pre-cut fruit from the fridge, portioning it out into their lunch boxes. Sandwiches are assembled together assembly-line style, with them adding the meat and fixins’ just before I close and cut the sandwiches. They are in charge of placing juice boxes in their lunch bag, with the understanding that a forgotten juice box means a trip to the water fountain at school. In short, this half-hour of meal preparation helps build the foundation for a day when they’ll prepare their own meals from start to finish… maybe even their entire family’s meals.
Minute Maid has once again partnered with the Canadian Living Test Kitchen to create a new line of easy-to-do recipes that will promote independence and get kids into the role of head chef.
The boys and I love whipping up a Creamy Orange Fruit Dip – sweet, slightly tangy and perfect for pairing with a variety of sliced fruit, the recipe is super easy to follow and allows both my boys to take the reins while mommy watches. (Allergen Alert: Contains Dairy.)
1 pkg (250 g) cream cheese, softened
¾ cup Minute Maid® Original 100% Orange Juice
¼ cup plain yogurt (2%)
2 tbsp liquid honey
In food processor, blend together cream cheese, Minute Maid® Original 100% Orange Juice, yogurt and honey until smooth. Transfer to bowl; cover and refrigerate until chilled and slightly firm, about 30 minutes.
PER 2 TBSP, RECIPE MAKES 2 CUPS: about 69 calories, 1 gram protein, 5 grams total fat (3 grams saturated fat), 4 grams carbohydrates (0 g dietary fibre, 4 g sugar), 18 mg cholesterol, 54 mg sodium, 32 mg potassium. %RDI: 2% calcium, 1% iron, 6% vitamin A, 5% vitamin C, 2% folate.
To give Ryder and Reid complete control, I allow the cream cheese to come to room temperature so it’s very soft, and then swap the food processor for a wooden spoon. Just be sure to let an adult stir the wet ingredients until just combined, or you’ll have quite the mess to clean up!
For more delicious recipes that are perfect for independent little individuals, visit Minute Maid.
I loved cooking and baking with my girls when they were growing up and now I’m getting to do it with my grandkids!
That’s so wonderful, Anne :)
my girls are great cooks because of helping me in the kitchen.
That’s usually the way it is! Great to have good role models :)
Mom taught me at a young age to cook , i hope to do it with my grandkids one day , i loved it , my boys weren’t that interested in cooking much they would help out some , which was great of them :)
I think it’s so enduring when boys help out :)
Always fun to let kids help out in the kitchen, I like the sound of the Orange Fruit Dip so we will have to make up a batch!
Let me know what you think, Judy!
That orange dip sounds yummy !
Now that my daughter is grown, I have the pleasure of watching my grandchildren grow and gain their independence :) So much easier when viewed from afar LOL
LOL, I’ll be Flora! It’s wonderful that you now have the opportunity to watch your grandkids grow :)
Your boys are so adorable! I don’t miss the diaper stage but as much as I like that my girls are independent, sometimes I wish my kids were toddlers again. I miss the cute factor and cuddles.
I know what you mean. Maybe the cute factor and cuddles… AND toilet trained? :)
such independent little guys! great to read about how you’ve developed a great lunch-making routine.
Thanks Nicky – we work hard at it!
Your boys are so cute and I love the way you’re training them to be independent from a young age.
Thank you Marissa – trying my best!
I can’t wait to try this Orange Fruit dip recipe, it sounds very yummy! :-)
I think you’ll really like it, Rossane!
This dip looks yummy!
Yes, independence for our children is a beautiful thing, also sad sort of. I felt unneeded, until she fell asleep on the couch one night, sucking her thumb <3
Mine are now, 24/22/20/17/8 .. the 24 year old still needs me as much as the 8 year old, only in a different manner now… oddly the need for 'money' has never ceased LOL!! It would be nice if they got some independence in THAT sense!
Darlene! I had no idea you had 5 kids… that is wonderful!! God bless!
Great ideas :)
Thanks Athena!
Getting kids to take on a role in the kitchen is such a great way to teach kids independence .
Thank you Victoria, I think so too :)
It’s fun for them to help out in the kitchen and great way to teach independence for sure.
Absolutely, Melinda.
I too love that my son is older as I don’t fondly remember the diapers, bottles and lack of sleep. That’s why being a grandma now is great – all the squishy cuddles without the work of raising them :)
Oh I can imagine! I’m sure my mom would agree with you :)
Your boys are so cute! Thanks for the recipe.
My son is 11 and we are still making his lunches just because it would take him FOREVER to do it and he is always super slow on school mornings. But I do realize I seriously just need to make this happen. I like the idea of having things pre-cut and maybe just add a list of options my guy could pick from each day. :)
The dip sounds delicious and healthy.
made this yesterday its all gone today.
When the grandkids come for the weekend Saturday is a baking day,so much fun an so much mess lol…..making beautiful memories
When my kids where young we cooked all the time,by the time my daughter was 11 she could mix up a batch of bread in no time,now married she loves to entertain guests and do lots of cooking