Every time I leave my house, I have to confront the memory. The nightmare.
I can’t avoid it; I can’t turn around and take another route. I can’t NOT think about it as I approach the intersection, because it’s the only way for me to make it onto the main road. I can’t do anything but place my foot on the gas and take a deep breath as I drive ahead.
Three years ago, I was in a serious car accident – just moments from my front door. Now I won’t be so dramatic as to say it changed my whole life, but it did give me profound insight into one truth: FOCUS on the Road.
It was a sunny, cold morning and my husband was uncharacteristically working from home for the first part of the day. Seizing an opportunity to run to the grocery store without toting two tots, I threw on a coat and jumped into his car, yelling that I would return in less than 20 minutes.
IT ONLY TAKES ONE SECOND TO CHANGE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
The grocery run itself was unremarkable; loading up on baby cereal, assorted fruits and veggies, I left the store and drove the 4-minute commute back to my house. (Repeat: the 4-minute commute.) At the major intersection before my side street, I waited patiently for the light to turn green.
I remember glancing out the window; thinking about what I should make for dinner that night, chewing on my bottom lip. The light turned green, and I calmly stepped on the gas. Rihanna sang away on the radio.
And the next thing I knew, I felt the force of impact; air bags exploding all around me; the smell of burnt rubber assaulting my nose. I opened my eyes and was acutely aware that although I was travelling westbound, I was now facing north… in the southbound traffic lanes. What the hell had happened?
4 MILLION DISTRACTED DRIVER-RELATED CRASHES OCCUR IN NORTH AMERICA EACH YEAR.
I went into shock. I couldn’t feel the entire left side of my body; my hands were shaking on the steering wheel. Panicked, I looked into the faces of commuters in the southbound lanes. They stared back at me with bored, unattached expressions – like they hadn’t just witnessed a major traffic accident. And when their light turned green, one man actually honked at me and motioned for me to drive my car off to the side… um, I suppose he didn’t realize that half my car was missing.
(Later, a paramedic explained that Canadians just don’t “do” accidents. Witnesses often don’t know how to react – or would rather not be inconvenienced by staying to help – so they just look the other way and pretend nothing happened. Then, they have a nice story to tell the colleagues when they finally make it in to work – but only after complaining they got caught behind an accident.)
Thankfully, a kind woman walking along the sidewalk rushed to my car and opened the door. She asked if I was okay, instructed me to put the car in park, and pulled me out of the car and onto the sidewalk. Within moments, the trio of police, fire and paramedics arrived and I was whisked into the ambulance to be checked over.
It was then explained to me that the other driver, travelling northbound, was chatting away on her cell phone and had run the red light, hitting me at close to 80 km/hr.
DRIVERS ARE 5 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO CRASH WHILE CHATTING ON CELL PHONES.
Although it didn’t look like I had serious injuries, I was sent to the hospital for evaluation. And without telling me, I already knew my vehicle was a total loss.
(When I first recounted the story to friends, the knee-jerk reaction was always “Not the Mini!” Ha ha ha, nope, I was driving my husband’s Nissan Altima. I felt really bad for him; it was not even a year old!)
At the hospital, deep tissue contusions were confirmed – broken bones were ruled out. I was free to go home and recuperate after being forewarned that other injuries would likely pop up after a few days or weeks. For the first few nights, I iced about 6-7 tennis ball sized bruises down my left side. One word: SORE. Later, lateral whiplash set in; essentially, with the force of impact my head had snapped to the right, causing injury along the muscles. Three words: MONTHS of physiotherapy.
IN 2013, 78 PEOPLE DIED IN DISTRACTED-DRIVING RELATED COLLISIONS.
So after shopping for a new car (my least favourite kind of shopping), dealing with insurance companies, going to physiotherapy – not to mention taking care of two little boys while in copious amounts of pain – I had a new found dislike for distracted drivers. Of course, the icing on the cake was when the driver pleaded “not guilty” in order to get a reduced fine, and she did… $360 and a handful of demerit points for partially screwing up my life.
However, I always like to learn from experiences, so here are my pearls of wisdom:
1. FOCUS on the Road. Driving requires your full attention. Losing your focus on the road can lead to weaving in and out of your lane, missing a traffic sign and putting yourself, passengers and others at risk.
2. Be a good Samaritan. I’m not saying that you have to throw yourself in front of a car for someone, but do take a moment to see if another human being is alright. Immediately after the accident I was in complete shock; I didn’t even remember how to use my hands or feet. If not for the kind stranger who walked over to me, chances are I’d still be sitting in my car, waiting for someone to come to my aid.
3. Accidents happen; Move on. For a short while following the crash, I was consumed with anger and frustration. I didn’t want to take on the expense of a new car (have you seen what insurance companies pay out?), I didn’t have time for physiotherapy, and I didn’t want to rearrange my plans and schedules – all because of some thoughtless individual. But then I realized that 20 years ago, before advanced automobile safety features, I likely would not have walked away from that collision at all. And since I’m fairly certain that the other driver didn’t mean to run a red light… c’est la vie. It’s always easier to let go than hang on.
4. Make the Promise. CAA South Central Ontario (CAA SCO) and other traffic safety partners have come together to launch a six week long education and awareness campaign. I urge all my readers to make the promise to end distracted driving.
It’s simple, go online to caasco.com/focus and promise to your family and friends to focus on the road.
After you’ve made the promise, be sure to share via social media or email to help spread the message. To continue the conversation, @CAASCO will be hosting the #CAAfocus Twitter Party on Tuesday, August 5th at 12:00pm ET. Join us for an informative chat with the chance to win great prizes.
So, I’ve shared my story. Want to prevent it happening to someone else? Make the Promise: caasco.com/focus.
Distracted driving is taking a risk not only with your own life and safety, but that of others.
ESPECIALLY that of others! I don’t care if you want to be drunk and take your own life; I hate when others have to pay :(
That one ad that was popping up everywhere about text and driving scared me. I always get mad when I see people doing it. So stupid.
I agree. Honestly, I wish people would just STOP.
Unfortunately I see bad drivers on the road everyday.
Every single day. I agree, Yuen.
That sounded scary Lena. Glad you have recovered physically (I hope) from it.
Thanks Tricha. Still have aches and pains, but nothing that stops me :)
Ok this makes me think twice of using the phone while driving…
I hope it does! Please make the promise Eldon…
What an awful experience. I hope that your post opens a lot of people’s eyes to the dangers of distracted driving.
I hope so too, Heidi.
Very well written post Lena! Thanks for sharing your story which is definitely an eye opener for everyone that gets behind the wheel. Too many innocent lives are lost in the process and I hope the government imposes hefty fines for texting/using cell phones while driving.
I completely agree, Marissa. The “slap on the wrist” approach is maddening.
Terrifying. And a good reminder for all!!
Indeed, Heather.
That’s a terrible experience. I always cringe when I see my friends drive distractedly, and tell me stubbornly that nothing bad is going to happen. Hopefully more PSAs will pop up and change this mindset.
I hope so too, Victoria. Please make the promise!
Glad to hear you were not seriously hurt, there is way to many distracted drivers on the roads and it makes me mad also, the sad thing is if something happened to those distracted drivers they would still blame the other person
I know. I KNOW. Like, it’s okay if they do it? Ugh.
Its such a scary story , i so hate when i drive by someone texting … accidents can happen so fast and i hope your ok from this !
Thank you Treen. I am okay, but I’m not going to lie – it did disrupt my life for some time!
I have seen WAY too many distracted drivers on the road – whether it be on their phone, doing their makeup, shaving (yep – actually saw one shaving), reading a newspaper (that was before cell phones replaced them) – I could go on…. I had one distracted driver behind me (nearly rear ending me a couple of times), so I changed lanes to let them pass me (would rather have her ahead of me so I can keep a better eye on her), well, she nearly sideswiped me and then proceeded to weave on down the road…
When will people ever learn ?
I have a cell phone, but it is ALWAYS off and buried in my purse when I am driving. I have OnStar in my vehicle, but only use it when I am parked. It is nice to know that it is there in case of an emergency though (mine or if I witness a crash).
Shaving!!! I sincerely hope you’re referring to a man shaving his face, and not a woman shaving her legs!! Happy to hear you’re responsible on the road.
What a scary experience, glad that you were not seriously hurt. It doesn’t seem to matter how much they push it you still see people talking and texting in the car everyday. My cell phone is put away in the car and even though we can talk hands-free the rule it that it is only for emergencies. In the car you need to focus on one thing and that is driving!
I completely agree, Judy.
this is a topic i’m quite passionate about. as a pedestarian in a busy city, without exaggeration every 5th car will have someone glancing at their phone. the problem is serious enough that in Ontario the curent fine is a paltry $280; should legislation pass this fall it will be raised to a more appropriate $1000 and 3 points. It won’t solve the issue, but it will emphasize the seriousness of the matter.
pedestarians don’t get a pass either. too many people looking down, headphones in, wandering into streets without looking both ways like we were taught in kindergarten by Elmer the Safety Elephant.
Never thought about how distracted pedestrians are, but you’re RIGHT.
I, personally, get so furious when I see people texting and or talking on their phones when driving! I’m not quiet about it either. I’ve been known to roll down my window and let the driver know that I know they are breaking the law and taking others lives into their own hands. AHHH this makes me so angry!
Good for you Anne! We need more people speaking up about it!
You always have to keep your eyes on the road and other drivers for sure. So many distractions, cell phones and doing makeup must be top of the list. Happy to read you did not get injured.
Thanks Florence :)
there was an accident in belleville just passed the mall exit. we were lucky that the exit was right where the traffic started to build up. on the way home I watched a truck in front of me swerve many times onto the side. I told my daughter they were probably on their phone.
Swerving? No doubt a phone was the culprit.
This is such a strong message, somehow we don`t seem to be getting thru to the younger people
Young and old alike! I’ve seen too many older women chatting on the phone while driving :(
I am terrified of accidents ever since I have been in a serious one too 2 years ago while sitting as a passenger in the front. It was so bad — let’s just say the Lexus was totalled. I am always promoting now for safe driving and seeing people driving distractedly really irritates me. Not only do they put their own life at risk, they are putting everyone else too. Thanks for sharing the article and reminding us all the importance of safe driving.
I’m so sorry to hear that, Maggie. Thanks for trying to make a difference.
I had a horrible car accident and suffered memory loss.. I still have short term memory issues.
I can not stress enough the importance of focussing on the task at hand.. driving. No text msg or phone call is worth someone’s life.
Oh no :( And you’re absolutely right.
This is one ad that should def be posted on every street corner
I agree, Amy. We need to keep reminding others!
Distracted driving is everywhere!! I keep nagging my friend to not reach for their phone while driving. I was in a minor car accident earlier this year and it was quite the shocker. Just glad it wasn’t serious,
Glad it wasn’t serious too, Melinda.
This is why in passionate about car seat safety for kids. Science proves that it’s safest for babies to rear face until at least two, harness until 6, booster until 9 or they pass the 5-step test and then never Sit in the front seat until 12 or puberty. People think its excessive or paranoid, but I want to know my kids protected as best of my ability because I can’t control what other drivers are doing. I was hit by a drunk driver at 15 and 20 years later still live with the affects.
Oh no Janice :( I am so happy to see your stance on child car safety.
Yours is an incredible story and you are very lucky indeed. You not only make a good point about distracted driving but also the fact that it can happen to you, at the fault of another driver! This TP is important to get the word out to ALL drivers to be cautious and aware of the road. Thanks Lena!
Thank you Alayne :) I hope to see you there.
Hey Lena,
This one really resonated with me. Got whiplash last fall from running over an unsecured manhole at full speed. Change of life? You bet! With a 3yo and 4 month old in the house at the time it was hard to say the least. The numbness. All here. The months of physio. Ongoing. The feeling like I missed out on almost every milestone of my youngest’s first year? Irreversible. The looking past it, haven’t yet, but was encouraged by your admonition to try. Thanks for the great advice!
J
Oh joy, I completely understand. Completely. Ryder was 18 months old and Reid was 6 months old when I had the accident, so I totally hear you on the milestones thing! Hopefully you can put it past you soon.
Wow, sounds like a really scary experience. I’m glad you were okay! I keep my phone in my purse, which stays in the back seat while I’m driving. I’m happy fines went up using cell phones whilst driving. Even glancing at your phone while stopped will get you a ticket. I wish people would realize how quickly an accident can happen.
Me too Holly.
This is awful! So glad you’re okay! I definitely made a promise to end distracted driving!!
Thank you Kristen :)
It really frosts me when you still see people texting and driving, especially cops. What, are they immune from the law?
You nailed it, Rick. I see A LOT of cops texting and driving (speeding, I should say), around here….
I’ve never noticed that myself, but will keep an eye out now!
Scary story, Lena. Glad you’re sharing it
Thanks Gabriel :)
So sorry that you went through that ordeal, but thankful that you were able to walk away. Good reminder to stay focused on the road.
Absolutely; thanks Linda!
So close to home too. Scary that people are not paying attention. My daughter and I were at a red light and noticed so many people on their cells texting. I reminded my seven year old of the dangers. Life is too short.
Totally agree BobbiJo :)
Unfortunately, it’s way too true.
Unfortunately ;(
Thank God you’re ok & I think it’s awesome you’re raising awareness by sharing.
Thanks Stephanie :)
The best anti-texting commercial I’ve seen: http://bit.ly/1pFLRp5
Thanks for sharing!
Wow,thats pretty darn scary so happy you were ok. I hate when drivers are stupid by texting,drinking and driving or not paying attention for any reason and others have to suffer or lose their life..