Listen to Lena

Perfecting the Art of Conversuasion

The Age Test

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I’m sure y’all have come across multiple tests online that claim to predict your age – or spit out what your “real age” is in terms of health, wealth, etc. Well, my husband has come up with his own age test, and he boasts that it can accurately determine a person’s generation within seconds, and with minimal effort.

But first, the background story.

My husband is a naturally curious individual, and has been known to ask questions pertaining to age, ethnicity, marital status, weight (YES, weight) and the like… to people he has recently met. Ugh.

I’ll normally shoot him a cut-eye or interject with a trilling, high-pitched laugh – “Oh honey, you can’t ask someone that! You don’t have to answer,” I’ll clarify, my face conveying massive apology.

To which he’ll roll his eyes and ask the person point blank: “Do you mind if I ask your age/ race/ weight/ insert-personal-and-potentially-offensive-question-here?”

Of course, that can make someone about 100 times more uncomfortable, because really, if you don’t want to answer, you shouldn’t have to.

However, I should insert a disclaimer: my husband is a jovial, easy going and completely personable guy, and he’s not asking to be creepy or intrusive. He simply enjoys meeting and getting to know people, and if the conversation evolves – and finding out someone’s age or ethnicity would allow him to continue the conversation in a more meaningful way – he’s not against probing. It’s harmless, and he’s a top-notch sales professional who’s accustomed to asking questions, so I do get it.

That doesn’t mean I don’t scream at him later, of course.

(As an aside – I’m referring to those in close proximity of our own ages, +/- about 10 years. He would never disrespect our elders by asking their age, as he firmly understands the inherent courtesy of not challenging generational and cultural traditions/ taboos.)

And so, after debating with me back and forth the stigmas associated with simply getting to know a person better, he came up with his own age test. Are you ready? Here goes.

When guests come over, at some point he’ll retrieve his favourite childhood toy from its secret hiding place (he rotates the location so even I don’t know where to look). Then he’ll say, “Look what I found at my parents’ house the other day! Man, this was my favourite toy!”

1. If the person exclaims, “That’s Thunder Punch He-Man!” – he can summarize their age is between 30-40 years old.
2. If the person guesses, “Oh, that’s He-Man right? What kind is that?” – they are usually over 40 years old.
3. If the person stares blankly at the action figure, we’ve got an under 30 year old on our hands. (See part B.)

Okay, part B. When my husband clarifies, “This is He-Man, he was popular at the same time as Voltron. Which is what Mighty Morphin Power Rangers copied.”

1. If they know what Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are, they’re 25-30 years old.
2. If they say “Mighty Morphin what? I’ve heard of Power Rangers but not the Mighty Morphin stuff…” – then we need to check for ID, because they may be too young to consume alcohol.

So… what do you think of his age test? And, what toys would your age test include? Myself? I’d hold up my Peaches ‘n Cream Barbie… my Jem and the Holograms Rockin’ Roadster… and my Rainbow Brite.

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Comments

  1. Nancy

    You had a Peaches ‘n Cream Barbie!? I wanted one of those so bad :(

    I knew that figurine was he-man but I didn’t know there was a thunderbolt one. But I’m in your age bracket minus 1-2 years (I think?)

    • Lena

      I did! It was my favourite doll in the world. I got it for Christmas :)

      Re: knowing it’s Thunder Punch, I think that’s more of a guy-thing age wise. I think any girl who can correctly identify He-Man is in her 30’s, which sounds about right. And I’m 35…

    • Lena

      Ah, we are in the same generation Judy! For sure – I had Strawberry Shortcake and Lime Chiffon!

  4. sarah sar

    This is a very accurate age test!! My age test would include The Snorks, Smurfs, My Little Pony, ThunderCats and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

    • Lena

      He’ll be thrilled you think so Sarah! LOVED ThunderCats BTW :) And the Snorks! Totally forgot about them!

  5. Anne Taylor

    oh…….I have no idea what a Peaches n Cream barbie is.

    Be gentle, I turned 50 yesterday lol

  6. Allie

    Mrs Beasley.The doll that belonged to Buffy on the show Family Affair. I still have it!!!

  7. Flora M

    OH boy, trip down memory lane … I had Barbies galore, before that I had a Dale Evans dress-up outfit and I rode my “Trigger” horse on a springy base… (not a rocking horse, a bouncing horse LOL) – Wonder if your hubby can peg my age LOL

  8. Linda

    Ha! I would beat him at his game, I worked for Toys R Us and totally know all those toys but I’m a bit over his age bracket for knowing… had barbies…wanted a convertible for them but instead they drove a klennex box car (can you sense I’m still bitter; ) ) , had a Chrissy (?) doll – her hair grew when you pressed a button on her back….dating myself yet?

  9. Tenille

    Love it! While Jem was cool do you remember how Barbie copied it with Barbie and the Rock Stars?

    Rainbow Brite, absolutely!

    And Pound Puppies, I loved my Pound Puppies!

    • Lena

      I vaguely remember Barbie and the Rock Stars! But maybe that’s cause I was so addicted to Jem at the time!

  10. Cathy C

    I think it is genius. I am applauding him as I type.I tend to give my age away but the lyrics to songs I know. Not that I know the resent ones That I know the Cure The Smiths Elvis Castello and The Proclaimers (1st time around) I know parents music and my kids but they do not know mine. It is a specific period of New Wave/ Alternative music that only those in their teens and early 20’s in the 80’s and early 90’s would know.

    • Linda

      So my generation….loved all the new wave/alternative/punk….lived in St. Catharines and hung out at Gord’s Place dancing the night away to these tunes : )

  11. Ira

    Genius! But… the person tested has to be brought up in same culture. I only saw Barbie for the first time when I was 14 (never heard much about it before either) and I never owned one…

  12. Brenda Penton

    I remember wanting a Peaches & Cream Barbie. My cousin ended up getting one to “Collect” and I always wanted to rip her out of the box, lol. I remember getting the Sears catalogue and being amazed at the current year’s Christmas Barbie.

    Ohhhh memories!

    Toys for my age: Glo Worm, Rainbow Brite, Lite Brite, Easy Bake Oven, Poppels, Pound Puppies and Teddy Ruxpen (sp?)

  13. AlwaysARedhead

    Your husband cracks me up, too funny. Toys from my era are hard to remember. I played with cars, Fisher Price Barn, and then I was outside all the time.

  14. Victoria Ess

    Haha no he does not do that with the action figures!! That’s almost too hilarious to be true!

    It would be Barbies for me!

  15. Soozle

    She-ra for all of us warrior princesses out there! haha!

    I sadly knew who the He-man was as well… Yup.. your hubby pegged me correctly hah :-)

    • Lena

      Ah – the fact that you could identify the particular type of He-Man lends credence to his theory….

  16. Tammy Bell

    very very clever..but what about music? can he age people by the music they listen too? I think that one would be a little bit harder..

    • Lena

      I think so too, especially since people tend to take to a certain generation or another….

  17. Shauna MacKenzie

    I loved my Peaches n Cream Barbie! And my Wrinkles Dog that my boys now play with! Hilarious story!

  18. Chandra Christine O'Connor

    yikes my fav doll was Mrs Beasley. Im sure tons have never heard of that doll. oh how I loved her.