Did anyone read my blog back in 2009? HIGH FIVE sistas! I adore my long-time readers. Well, back in 2009, I wrote this post (see below). Then, read on for the shiz I can’t even make up.
September 16, 2009
When Bad Neighbours Happen…
Here’s a story that you’d have to live through to believe. (How many times have I said that?)
Yesterday began like any other Tuesday – Gossip Girl recaps, looking forward to hitting the mall, and garbage day pickup on my street. Sounds harmless, right?
Well, our neighbour across the street (whose name and address shall remain anonymous – even though I have a good mind to publish their private details across the interwebs) decided to sneak A CAN OF PAINT into their garbage. I mean, there’s a hazardous waste disposal centre about 2 km away, but I’m never surprised at how lazy people can brazenly break the law.
So… the garbage truck comes by. The garbage collector picks up their trash, and throws it into the hopper (of course, not realizing that there is in fact a paint can buried deep within their junk). Then the lever comes down to crush the garbage, and in the process, causes the paint can to EXPLODE.
And, it explodes all over my husband’s shiny black car, which is backing out of our driveway. Yes, that is white paint on a black car. Yes, his driver side window was open. Yes, we do have black upholstery inside. OMG.
To their credit, the garbage men (is that apropos? should I call them Waste Collection representatives?) sprung into action and helped us hose down the car, scrub the paint and remove all traces of chemical gunk. And, miraculously, we managed to remove it all, as we were quick and it was latex paint (phew!).
Now that the car has been saved, it’s time to get angry. Those wankers.
The City Works Department was called and the homeowners were fined on the spot… I wonder how much it was? They didn’t look too happy – but then lazy lawbreakers never are. The responsible party also agreed to pay for our car detailing (they didn’t) and promised us our car would look as good as new (it didn’t).
And that, my friends, are the consequences when bad neighbours happen to good people. (Coincidentally, their house is for sale. PLEASE someone buy it, I can’t wait to get rid of them.)
Okay, so someone eventually purchased the house. And we forgot all about the crappy neighbours who ruined our car and then left us to pay our own detailing bills. Another thing that slipped our mind? The fact that the owner was a taxi crab driver. For Blue & White Taxi.
So when we called for a taxi to come take us to the airport a few weeks ago, we never dreamed we’d come face to face with the ex-neighbour from hell. The kicker? I recognized him only after the taxi started moving… my husband did not recognize him at all. Turns out, he had a hard time placing us too – because to be honest, I was a ranting pregnant lady the last time he saw me, not the mother of two toddlers. So the conversation went something like this:
CABBIE/ EX-NEIGHBOUR/ ASSHAT: So, have you lived in your home long?
HUSBAND: About 5 years now.
CABBIE/ EX-NEIGHBOUR/ ASSHAT: Really? Cause I don’t recognize you. I used to live across the street.
HUSBAND: Wow! That’s such a coincidence.
CABBIE/ EX-NEIGHBOUR/ ASSHAT: Yeah, you don’t look familiar at all. You’re sure it’s been 5 years?
HUSBAND: Oh yes, I think I remember you. I remember your cab. How are you?
And he begins idle chit chat the whole time. It’s a good thing it was before sunrise, so they could not see me rolling my eyes from the back seat. And only after we exit the car, I whisper to my husband – “You know that’s the guy who dumped paint all over your Altima, right?”
I mean really, how do men forget things like this??
So that’s how a bad ex-neighbour who broke the law and damaged our car ended up driving my family to the airport a few weeks ago. The world is too small for my liking.