Listen to Lena

Perfecting the Art of Conversuasion

I Wish I Was Making this Shiz Up.

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Did anyone read my blog back in 2009? HIGH FIVE sistas! I adore my long-time readers. Well, back in 2009, I wrote this post (see below). Then, read on for the shiz I can’t even make up.

September 16, 2009

When Bad Neighbours Happen…

Here’s a story that you’d have to live through to believe. (How many times have I said that?)

Yesterday began like any other Tuesday – Gossip Girl recaps, looking forward to hitting the mall, and garbage day pickup on my street. Sounds harmless, right?

Well, our neighbour across the street (whose name and address shall remain anonymous – even though I have a good mind to publish their private details across the interwebs) decided to sneak A CAN OF PAINT into their garbage. I mean, there’s a hazardous waste disposal centre about 2 km away, but I’m never surprised at how lazy people can brazenly break the law.

So… the garbage truck comes by. The garbage collector picks up their trash, and throws it into the hopper (of course, not realizing that there is in fact a paint can buried deep within their junk). Then the lever comes down to crush the garbage, and in the process, causes the paint can to EXPLODE.

And, it explodes all over my husband’s shiny black car, which is backing out of our driveway. Yes, that is white paint on a black car. Yes, his driver side window was open. Yes, we do have black upholstery inside. OMG.

     

     

To their credit, the garbage men (is that apropos? should I call them Waste Collection representatives?) sprung into action and helped us hose down the car, scrub the paint and remove all traces of chemical gunk. And, miraculously, we managed to remove it all, as we were quick and it was latex paint (phew!).

Now that the car has been saved, it’s time to get angry. Those wankers. 

The City Works Department was called and the homeowners were fined on the spot… I wonder how much it was? They didn’t look too happy – but then lazy lawbreakers never are. The responsible party also agreed to pay for our car detailing (they didn’t) and promised us our car would look as good as new (it didn’t).

And that, my friends, are the consequences when bad neighbours happen to good people. (Coincidentally, their house is for sale. PLEASE someone buy it, I can’t wait to get rid of them.)

*UPDATE*

Okay, so someone eventually purchased the house. And we forgot all about the crappy neighbours who ruined our car and then left us to pay our own detailing bills. Another thing that slipped our mind? The fact that the owner was a taxi crab driver. For Blue & White Taxi.

So when we called for a taxi to come take us to the airport a few weeks ago, we never dreamed we’d come face to face with the ex-neighbour from hell. The kicker? I recognized him only after the taxi started moving… my husband did not recognize him at all. Turns out, he had a hard time placing us too – because to be honest, I was a ranting pregnant lady the last time he saw me, not the mother of two toddlers. So the conversation went something like this:

CABBIE/ EX-NEIGHBOUR/ ASSHAT:  So, have you lived in your home long?
HUSBAND: About 5 years now.
CABBIE/ EX-NEIGHBOUR/ ASSHAT: Really? Cause I don’t recognize you. I used to live across the street.
HUSBAND: Wow! That’s such a coincidence.
CABBIE/ EX-NEIGHBOUR/ ASSHAT: Yeah, you don’t look familiar at all. You’re sure it’s been 5 years?
HUSBAND: Oh yes, I think I remember you. I remember your cab. How are you?

And he begins idle chit chat the whole time. It’s a good thing it was before sunrise, so they could not see me rolling my eyes from the back seat. And only after we exit the car, I whisper to my husband – “You know that’s the guy who dumped paint all over your Altima, right?”

I mean really, how do men forget things like this??

So that’s how a bad ex-neighbour who broke the law and damaged our car ended up driving my family to the airport a few weeks ago. The world is too small for my liking.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Omg Lena that was your opportunity to get back on the non payment for the detailing!!!! (opportunity missed I think so) I know you and your husband are bigger people that that but….. just think of his face when you told him the ride was on him in liu of that missed payment…..(women may forgive but…. we never forget) Good on ya for keeping your head!!!

    • I know, I know. It was SO awkward! We paid in full and tipped. We were leaving on our first family vacation and didn’t want to begin it on a sour note.

  2. Im so sorry about the horrible paint experience but I still had to laugh when you ran into the guy later. Im too am amazed at my husbands ability to ‘forget’ horrid people and difficult situations that are a burden to me. I wonder if thats why women have such high heart disease – we really cant let go of stresses the way some men can?

    • I know, right??? Why can’t guys remember the important stuff. And I believe you are correct – we women do stress about this stuff!

  3. Wooooow! That is one crazy story! I cannot believe that HE didn’t remember YOU guys! Did you pay for your cab ride? Did you tip? lol

  4. Wow – the word IS too small! We need to run into old friends more, and people like this less! Thanks for sharing (I hope you didn’t tip ;)

  6. OMG. I can’t believe it. What are the odds???? You handled it so maturely. I would NOT have been so civil.

    • It was very early in the morning, and I was looking forward to vacation. Didn’t want to start it off wrong :)

  7. Wow, what are the odds of that! I would have sat there fuming, lol. Glad the paint was latex, an oil based paint would have been nasty to get off!

  8. I truly enjoyed reading this story. I feel bad you guys had to go through all that 5 years ago, but wow…what a small world!

  9. Oh my, so glad you got the paint off though, what bad luck! I have the same type of husband that let’s go of anything bad. I guess it’s a good way to be but I’m the one that holds on to grudges longer. I’m working on it though .. lol

    • I think it’s a woman thing – we tend to remember everything. Helps when raising the kids, but also makes us hold on to grudges!

  10. That is one of the most incredible stories I’ve ever read! I can’t imagine that happening in the first place and then for him not to recognize you?? lol wow

    • Hahaha I know. When he was asking questions in the car, I was thinking “this can’t turn out well…”

  15. Oh jeez! What a headshaker! I’m glad to hear you were able to salvage your car.. no thanks to your crummy neighbours!

    I live in an apartment and have had a few crummy neighbours over the years – the last one before my current awesome next door neighbour used to throw parties that would wake me up at 4 am and had a habit of (get this) rapping (very badly) while in the shower.. Which was more funny than annoying – except when I had company over! hah

    • Yes, it was a relief! A few months later, the car was in an accident and was written off, so it obviously was a bad-luck car ;)

  20. That is a crazy story but I was sure it was going to end with something like this;

    “So we dumped coffee in the back seat of his taxi”
    “So we dumped chemicals in the back of his taxi”

    or something exciting.

    But in Toronto you are allowed to recycle EMPTY paint cans. Wondering that is a recent decision or an older one. I would never have thought to toss one into the garbage that was full…

    Good thing.

    • Oh, I’m sorry to disappoint you.. Now if I had some coffee or chemicals on me… maybe I would have had a different story to tell? :)

  22. What are the chances?!! Can’t believe they didn’t own up to their bad deed by at least paying for your detailing bill. What jerks! Thank goodness you are rid of them now.

  23. Oh my gosh, that would really piss me off – Glad there was no damage and the paint was able to be cleaned up!

  24. I just read this and wow! I’m so sorry for your troubles. Bad neighbours are such a pain, and the world really is way too small.

    I must admit I laughed when I read that your husband didn’t recognize him. I thought my husband was the only one. I agree, “how do men forget things like that?”. Hopefully the new neighbours are better.

    • The new neighbours are MUCH better :) And yes, is it so hard for men to remember stuff like automobile damage? Sheesh!

  26. wow what a nice man he was to help you clean all the paint. i hope your neighbours will think twice before trying something like that again.

  27. its called KARMA, when bad people receive what’s coming to them. Here’s hoping that the Karma was a bitch!

  28. Holy crap, this is a scene out of a movie for sure lol. I’m glad you kept your cool and didn’t throttle the dude after he dropped you off at the airport.