Listen to Lena

Perfecting the Art of Conversuasion

Love At First Click?

By

There are a few things in life I’m not afraid to admit:

1) I have an irrational fear of spiders, heights and parallel parking.
2) I often hide in my closet to eat a piece of chocolate, because I don’t want to share with the kids.
3) I met my husband through an online dating site.

YES! It’s true – after being unceremoniously dumped by a former boyfriend who just didn’t want to commit, I decided that rather than spend my weekends getting dolled up for a dance club, I’d rather nurse my broken heart with pizza and Star Wars. Unfortunately, after about 3-4 weekends on the Domino’s diet, I was no further ahead on the romantic front – but about 6 pounds ahead on the scale. Hence, I decided to give online dating a shot.

I asked my brother to take a picture of me in my mom’s bedroom (she had nicer furniture), spent much time creating a witty profile, and proceeded to try to find my Prince Charming via the scary world of online dating, also known as Lavalife. Of course, that was seven years ago, when it was still considered somewhat taboo to meet a stranger online. Today, with social media connecting people all over the world, chances are that you have more online friends than IRL (in real life) ones.

(In the end, I chose the picture on the right as my profile image. The picture is actually called “MeReallyClose.jpg” and I have no freaking clue why I would ever choose to show so much “face”. Ugh! And was I really wearing a brown corduroy blazer? Good grief.)

Now I’d known friends who had tried their luck with varying degrees of success; some had gone on several dates, one had nailed down a serious boyfriend, while others were still waiting for the right one to come along. I had absolutely no expectations, and was really just looking for another avenue to connect with guys. Preferably cute, emotionally-available guys with no commitment issues, of course. #notBitteratAll

So you can imagine my surprise when I fell head over heels for the very first guy I chatted with. He was funny, incredible sweet, and most importantly, did not set off my “weirdo radar”. We decided to meet for drinks – and I decided to accept his marriage proposal six months later :)
(In between our first meeting and his proposal was a ton of mushy, exceedingly romantic stuff that I have vague memories of. I sometimes try to return to that happy place when I am sleeping on the couch, as my husband snores away beside my two little guys who have hijacked my side of the bed.)

Today, one in five couples meet online. If you’re currently single, chances are that you have an active profile for at least one dating site. And I salute you! I happened to meet a pretty fabulous guy online, and with the right tools, finding love is only a click away.

Would you consider online dating? Have you tried it? Do share! 

Reader Interactions

Comments

  3. I have never had an experience with online dating. I’m not sure I would’ve tried it as I like meeting people in person…usually in a group setting.

  4. Yes, I have tried online dating. For me, the honesty of the pictures ruined it or lack of. The photo was great about 5 years ago…need to be present!

  8. No experience here with online dating, would I not because I’m married, if I was single would I, probably not, heard so many nightmares about online dating within the last week by people I know that have tried online dating

  9. Technically my husband and I met online, only it was through a friend but we deepened our relationship via chat on ICQ (showing my age here lol) So while I didn’t use an online dating service I would say that we met online :)

  10. No real experience with online dating. My experience is somewhat like Tabitha’s. Hubby worked at the college I was attending and I started messaging on ICQ because I was too shy to strike up a conversation face to face, lol.

  11. Never done online dating.. always been a lil chicken so try it.. but ur story is amazing and so happy u found ur love….

    Amazing giveway too btw..

  13. I haven’t personally tried online dating, but I’ve seen so many success stories from my friends. Times have changed and the stigma around online dating is finally fading a little. I’m in a relationship but would definitely try it — hopefully not anytime soon!

  14. I also met my husband through online dating and we are happily married almost eleven years with two boys! He is my soulmate!

  17. I have not but I have a friend who met & married via an online dating site. They now have 3 kiddies and are extremely happy!

  18. I have never had experience with online dating. my hubby and I met before this was popular. However that being said one of my best friends got married last year, after meeting someone online, so im not opposed to it at all. love can be found anywhere.

  23. Never experienced the whole online dating scene. Although I married last October, I’ve been with my husband for 12 years & the online dating scene wasn’t exactly popular yet. Glad to hear for many it works!

  25. I’ve tried online dating but didn’t have any luck. You found your soul mate there…that’s so special. And your pic is beautiful as ever!

  26. No experience with online dating for myself (I guess because I found a longtime BF before I even thought of online dating). My past roommate has gone through it though, and I was always there for her during it.

  27. I tried online dating just but I met my husband at a friend’s party. However, online dating helped me to realized what I wanted from a man. Sometimes you think you know what you want, and then the man of your life comes along and you realized he is not all the things you thought you wanted but he is exactly what you need and you are happier than ever!

  28. I met my husband through a blind date, but I did try online dating and met a few good guys, just not the right one for me.

  32. Never tried Online dating. Was introduced to my man by family friends. Ive got friends who’ve tried it and they are happy!

  33. I started dating my husband when I was 18 so I didn’t really have a chance to try out online dating but I think it’s a great way for singles to meet people out if their main circle.

  37. Never did the online dating thing…been with hubby 13 years now, so hopefully never even have to concider online in the future!

    But what I really wanted to comment was – I LOVE your hide in the closet/chocolate confession! I learned many years ago if I wanted a Coke to sneak it into a coffee cup so the kids wouldnt be at all interested!

  40. I have quite a few friends who did the online dating thing back in the late 90s. Two found their husbands on eHarmony and 3 on Jdate. Me? I did dabble in online dating and met some really great people. One I was engaged to, but it’s a long story as to why it didn’t work out. Thankfully it didn’t, because I wouldn’t be where I am today :) Everything works out for a reason. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Love, love, love!

  41. No, I don’t have experience with on-line dating and don’t think I would ever try it. I prefer to meet guys face to face, the old fashioned way :)

  42. No I don’t have experience and don’t think I would try it…..I just don’t think people give an honest representation of themselves online

  43. I tried it for a while but I didn’t have much luck, I think I’ll try again when my daughter is older and I have more time for myself.

  44. Your ‘fear of spiders’ comment brought back hilarious memories of our Starbucks coffee dates!! LOL I know of a lot of people who met ‘the one’ online, and are happily married now. If I was single, I certainly wouldn’t brush off this dating method! LOVE the camera, btw!

  45. I have never had any experience with online dating and don’t expect to as I have been married for 32 years.

  48. I have not had any experience with online dating, but have watched my sister-in-law over the years. She has met a few bad apples but also connected with a keeper!

  49. I have tried online dating and a few experiences were horrible and some not so bad. I didn’t meet my match there, but would try it again!

  52. I have 2 friends who are currently meeting other guys on an online dating website.They seem to be having a lot of fun!

  53. I have never tried it but have some friends who have. I wouldn’t try it because I’m married.
    rafflecopter name: Lisa K

  54. I met my husband on jDate almost 10 years ago, and fell in love right away. We were still in school at the time, but got married in January 2009.

  55. I’ve never tried online dating – but I have lots of friends who’ve found serious relationships (and solid marriages) from it…I think it really helps people find others with the same outlook – which leads to successful relationships :-)

  58. No I don’t have experience with on line dating. I met my hubby from a friend. My sister is currently using on line dating services.

  59. I met the man of my dreams seven months, five days ago on Eharmony. He was the first man I met in person or had a conversation with from the site and I’m happy to say we have been together ever since. Since then we have been to the other side of the world and back … itereally (after two months of dating we travelled through Japan together). After four months of dating we moved in together. Everyday I thank my lucky stars that he’s in my life.

    Congrats Lena. Wish you and you hubby all the best.

  61. My friend met her husband on the internet. They currently have 2 kids together. But, I don’t think it’s for me.

  63. I have never tried online dating, but I have friends who met their husbands that way. While I’m not opposed to it, I don’t foresee myself going that route in the near future. But who knows…..I may change my mind if I’m still single in a few years!

  65. I actually did try it a few years back. I stayed local and was really picky about who I interacted with. I had a couple coffee dates and actually still talk to one of them every so often but found no specail person. But all in all it was a good experience

  69. We didn’t even have computers when I was young so no online dating, I think it’s kind of scary because how do you know the person is telling you the truth when you can’t see their eyes to see what they are thinking? You girls are brave! Oh and Lena your husband got lucky to find a beautiful girl like you, and online!! Kind of sells me on it:)

  70. I have never had an experience with online dating, not because I wouldn’t, just because I haven’t had a reason or chance to. I met my spouse in 2004 when I was the ripe ol’ age of 18 and we’ve been together ever since so I haven’t had to worry about the crazy world of dating. Buuuuuuut, if I had to, that is the route I would go. I love the fact that you can look for someone that you would really be interested in and be truthful about your likes/dislikes right off the hop. Also, now a days the online dating scene (depending on which website you choose) seems to be not all ‘looking for a good-time’ or seeking a ‘one-nighter’ related. I believe that if you chose the website carefully and filled out your profile truthfully then one would have a good chance finding someone totally meant for you!

  71. I’m happily married (we met playing baseball!) but I’m helping my mom navigate the world of online dating…. There’s gotta be nothing scarier for a guy than being grilled by 3 grown-up daughters of the lady he’d like to take out for dinner!

  73. I tried it once when I moved to a new city. I dated the first guy I met for 2 years….It wasn’t meant to be, I learned a lot and I don’t regret it at all. If women are finding it hard to find the right type of guys – I say the more power to them! At minimum – it’s a great tool to teach you what you’re NOT looking for. ;)

  74. I am a traditionalist. If I cant meet them in casual life situation I am not gonna seek them out on the internet.

  76. I haven’t and am married now so no chance of trying it EVER.. hopefully. But I have quite a few friends who met on eHarmony and are happily married!

  82. I’ve been married almost 21 yrs. so it’s never been an option…lol. I don’t think i’d be brave enough either…

  86. I’ve never tried an online dating service, but hubby was a blind date. After 28 years of marriage, I’m not on the dating market.

  88. I tried when I was in university for a bit.. but I met some pretty “interesting” guys who now make me look back and think “what were you thinking?”. However, things have come along way, and I think if I were single I would consider one of the more secure sites.. however, I’m married so I hope this never become a decision I actually have to make.

  90. Great story :) I have always wondered who I could meet with online dating. I am single and to be honest, a little timid to try the online dating thing. I know that many people have found their true love with online dating, so who knows maybe this will encourage me to give it a try :)

  92. I don’t think online dating was even a thing when I started seeing my husband… but if I were somehow single, I’d probably still be shy. So sure, I’d try it in that alternate reality.

  96. I have tried online dating. My boyfriend who moved from Montreal two years ago to be with me… I met him online!

  103. No, I have been with my fiance for 7 years now but I think I would have tried it. I know many people who have great relationships from meeting online.

  104. No experience dating online but I wouldn’t try it (plus I am married). I am too scared of not knowing who I am talking to. Heard enough horror stories. Kudos for those who tried and were successful.

  106. I tried dating when Sara was little but it always ended in disaster. It was always better when it was just the two of us. It was then that I decided I would be a Mum and a really good one. It wasn’t until Sara turned 21 that I decided to put myself online. I am glad that I did! Michael and I have been together for over 2 years.

  110. no i dont because i am happily married but two of my daughters met their husbands on line :) and have given me 4 beautiful grandchildren

  112. Never have used it and am not sure if i would but i do not need to worry about that as i am happuily married. But i have heard of other people who use it and they have met people and had a great time.

    silverneon2000 at yahoo dot com

  118. I met an ex online over 10 years ago when online dating was still consIdered taboo. Funny thing is that his sister worked for my mother-in-law…small world!

  119. I love the story of how you met your hubby, Lena!! While I have not had the experience of dating someone through a dating website, I can definitely relate to the online aspect of it. I met my boyfriend on a website that is similar to the one I now run. We got to know each other as online friends first, kept chatting and discovered our mutual interests and the fact that we were both separated and at a similar stage in life. From there, love bloomed :) I took the plunge, called him and suggested we meet in person. We hit it off from the start and haven’t looked back. My biggest suggestion? If the dating website idea doesn’t work for someone, I always suggest joining a forum that relates to one of your interests. Right off the bat you already have something in common with every other person who joins that forum :)

  123. I havent actually done online dating sites, but met my previous partner online and… things are not always as they seem, so not sure if Id try it. not all can have bogus accts can they?

  125. no – I was already married when I learned it even existed. I have friends who have met their spouses online though.

  131. Never tried online dating, but I did meet someone through a local newspaper add many years ago. If I weren’t married, I would consider trying online dating.

  134. I’ve tried it but never really pushed it. Like I signed up but wasn’t active with it. I guess the idea kind of freaks me out a little still.

  136. I personally do not have any experience with online dating. But my younger brother met his now wife of 10 years online and are happily married.

  138. I don’t have any experience with real online dating, but way way back in the day I sued to meet people through message boards!

  141. I do not have experience with online dating. I met my significant other when I was 16 and we’ve been together ever since. If I didn’t have a partner, I wouldn’t be opposed to trying it though. I’d just be very careful and skeptical of everything.

  149. I have not tried online dating. Thankfully I met my wonderful husband long before online dating came onto the scene. I can’t say I would never try it, only that, hopefully, I will never have to.

  158. I’ve heard some people who’ve found true love but I’ve also heard some horror stories – think I’ll stay traditional.

  160. I have absolutely no experience with online dating. I don’t think that I would’ve ever tried it…only because I’d be scared of who would be on the other end. :S My friend did it and now she’s happily married, living in Europe, with two kids…worked for her, but it just wouldn’t have worked for me.

  162. I don’t have any experience but I’ve been married for 10 years. I certainly wouldn’t be against trying it!

  163. I don`t have any experience with online dating and I wouldn`t try it because I already have a boyfriend.

  173. I’ve never tried online dating. I’ve been with my husband since before it was a popular way to meet people. I know a few people who have had successful online matches, though.

  179. I do have experiences with online dating. My best one is… reconnecting with my highschool sweetheart. After 9 years of not hearing from eachother etc… we can proudly say it was a hit. We are married 2+years now :)

  182. personally i would not but my sister met her soon to be hubby online and they are amazing together. So I guess it can work for the right people

  191. Never really thought about it… been with my Hubs for about 5 years now…. If we werent together, probably not. :)

  195. I’ve never tried online dating, but if I were single I don’t think I’d be afraid to give it a shot.

  197. Congratulations on your wonderful experience. I am afraid of online dating as someone I know had a horrific experience. You were so lucky! It is nice to hear that you can find love on line though so, hmmmm…perhaps??

  198. I did try an online date. Not through a dating site though. Just a date with a guy from my home town that was older than me and at the time I was too young to date. I gave it a try, he came from a good family. WORST DATE OF MY LIFE. I met my boyfriend of 4 years, yup, at a bar. I wouldnt trade him in for the world.

  202. Never tried online dating before and never will. Just not comfortable meeting through the Internet.

  204. I’m married and don’t have any real personal experience, but many of my younger co-workers have met their boyfriends or husbands online! Also many patients/clients told me that is where they met their sweeties too!! Even older divorced friends have met their special new partners this way!

  207. I’m married and have been in this relationship since before I was even aware of online dating. I really hope I never have to date again, but am glad online dating worked so well for you!

  208. Being as I’m single yes I have experience with it. I don’t really like it but I have a hard time meeting new people so its sorta that or feel like the forever alone meme. I’ve had some really awkward meetings and some good ones too. Its just more of a competitive nature with online dating as the guy/girl is always back online looking for the next best thing.(yeah people online are even picker than people in real life).

  211. nope, I was always breaking up with boys and dating again a week later lol I probably wouldn’t have done it though, I was waaaaayyyy to shy and socially awkward for that. the boys I dated I knew for years from school.

  212. I met my husband online over 12 years ago, though not through a dating site. So yes, if I were single, I’d definitely give it a try.

  215. I’ve no experience with online dating as I am married. Don’t think I would do it; not for me.

  217. No experience personally but my niece met her future husband online and just recently got married.

  221. No I have not tried I have been married too long and internet dating was not around when I met my hubby

  222. I think I’d prefer speed dating than trying to conect with someone I can’t be sure is real.

  229. I think online dating is a great idea! I don’t anticipate trying it,though. (My husband doesn’t let me date!)

  230. I’ve tried online dating and have had a few in-person dates come out of it, but never have had a relationship result. I’d try it again, though – it can be a nice alternative to bars and other social outlets!

  232. Love the story – but even happier that still love your wedding gear! A timeless dress is a wonderful thing!