Sometimes, it’s the parent who needs to be scolded.
This morning began like most others. Wash the kids, clothe the kids, feed the kids, keep the kids from killing each other… and so on. Except I learned a valuable lesson I won’t soon forget, courtesy of Ryder – my lovely, sensitive, incredibly perceptive little guy.
It happened while I was (trying) to help them change out of their pajamas. Reid was running around my bedroom, and I swear that kid is so fast and so small it’s like trying to catch a greased pig. As he continually dodged my advances, Ryder ran in front of me, taunting me less heartily but highly annoying nonetheless. Well, after about 30 seconds of a game that felt like 30 minutes, I’d had enough. Grabbing Ryder by his shoulders, I steadied him and yanked his pants and undies down in one swift movement, puling them from around his ankles and tossing them into a clothes hamper behind me.
And then Ryder looked at me. It was a combination of shock and pure disgust; a look reserved for someone who had just slapped you across the face. And then he began to cry – tears of frustration, shame and embarrassment. He wailed and hid behind my dresser, trying to pull his pajama top down over his torso.
It was then that I realized that by unceremoniously yanking down his pants, I had humiliated him – robbing him of his dignity as he stood there naked from the waist down.
It had never occurred to me that a 3 year old could be embarrassed.
I have never considered myself a bully.
I will never make him feel cold and shamed again.
And so today, in humiliating my son, I learned a lesson in humility.
(I’m sorry, sweet Ryder.)
aww….don’t be too hard on yourself. we all have those moments. the thing that makes you a great mom is you realized it and learned from it. and were brave and honest enough to share it. thanks my twin. =) xo
Thanks so much for the encouragement, Lara. I guess I just acted out of frustration, and it kind of surprised me to think “Wow, he’s a little boy now with feelings and emotions”. So yeah, I’ve been a bit heard on myself. Thanks again my twin :) xo
I can see why this would bother you. Its not fun to be caught off guard and realize that our babies are turning into little people. Sending hugs Lena, but I agree with Lara, you realized it and learned from it.
That’s exactly it. The boys are growing up in front of my eyes and I need to realize that they’re developing in so many ways. Hugs to you too RubyRed.
Lena these are lessons I think all mama’s need to learn, I am am just starting my “schooling”. Babies turn into little people before our eyes and it happens so fast! My 18 month is just starting to get embarrassed, they develop those little emotions quickly. As moms we are always on the run trying to get everything “done” and I am sure our children will be teaching us lots more lessons along the way.
Absolutely. This is the first of many lessons for me, I’m sure :) Thanks for stopping by.
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. With my oldest being 6 yrs old, I’ve been through this many times and each time it’s a learning experience. Both my boys are extremely sensitive. If I laugh at something ‘cute’ that Josh does, he will now get very offended and upset because he thinks that I’m laughing at him. It’s heartbreaking to know that you’ve made your child feel bad in any way. But he still trusts and loves you and your hubby more than anyone in his life, and he always will. Thank you for your honesty, I know that most parents reading this post will relate and feel better to know that they’re not alone. xo
Shauna, I cannot wait to see you tonight so I can try to get tips from one of the best moms I know – you. And thank you for commenting – it makes me feel better that I’m not alone, either.
Aww, I can totally relate! But what a great momma you are for realizing it! Lesson learned, love persists. Other kiddies aren’t so fortunate.
“Lesson learned, love persists” – love that. Thank you Monica :)
Oh Lena!! yes we all learn from our children. Big and small life lessons. Thats why we need each other to learn!!! Don’t beat your self up too much!! Love has a way of mending all!! You are a good mom :) Just another life lesson our kids are here to teach us…..
Thanks Allie! I was kind of down on myself yesterday but feeling much better today – of course, the wonderful thing about toddlers is that they forgive and forget very easily! Thanks so much for stopping by with the words of encouragement!
Ryder should stay with Omy for a few days.
Thank you, but I don’t think so. Ryder needs an encouraging, loving, and most important – accepting and non-judgmental – environment.
Aw, this post made me get all emotional, because my DD is very self aware at 2 and I can imagine how bad you must have felt when you felt you weren’t respecting his personal space. Don’t worry, you will live and learn, you both will.
Yup, that’s definitely all there is to it. Thanks for chiming in!
The most important thing is that you tell him that you know you were wrong. I know you did, and that’s what is important, so he knows that even grown ups make mistakes, and that you didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. And don’t be too hard on yourself, either. You didn’t set out to shame him, you’re only human, and they were being very frustrating. Everyone reaches their breaking point.
I love when you weight in on posts because you always have the most soothing, calming – and practical – advice. Thank you :)