Baby Reid is growing up!
As we just celebrated his first birthday, a popular topic of discussion at his party was, “So, are you done with breastfeeding?”
Technically – no. I still BF him morning and night, and any time in between when I’ve got a few moments and he’s craving boob (just like I crave chocolate, I bet). But when we’re on the go or I’ve got things to do, he’ll happily sip a straw cup filled with homo milk.
I can’t deny that weaning brings about a whole new sense of freedom, but old habits die hard and frankly I do miss the closeness. Which is why Reid is still 50% boobage… with me being at home, there’s really no rush to wean completely.
So I began thinking about my breastfeeding journey one year ago; my struggles, my hopes and finally, my success. Remember A Tale of Two Boobs? Seems like a lifetime ago, but after reading the posts, I’m filled with awe and satisfaction of how fine-tuned nature can be. Therefore, I decided to do a post on five things I’ve learned along the way.
1) Breast is best, but formula is fine, too.
I’ve got two beautiful, healthy boys – one completely on formula, the other, 100% breast milk. I thought after I successfully breastfed that I would have an epiphany; that I would suddenly realize what all the hype was about. Well, I can’t deny that there are oodles of benefits of breastfeeding, but when it comes down to it, I felt no more love, satisfaction or peace than when I fed Ryder. Just as I spent hours connected to Reid, I spent the same time cuddling and holding Ryder close as I bottle fed him. So when it comes down to it, I think as long as you’re making a concerted effort to love, care for and nourish your child, after you’ve made your choice (hopefully an informed one), don’t beat yourself up over where that nourishment comes from.
2) Adhere to the “Two Week” rule.
When I first decided that I truly wanted to give breastfeeding my best, several mamas weighed in with advice. But a recurring token of wisdom was to simply hang in there for two weeks. Yes, it’s VERY uncomfortable. And your nipples will feel tender, sore, and will likely bleed. And it’s a b*tch if you’re trying for the first time following a c-section. BUT, take a short term approach. Tell yourself to hang in there, if only for two weeks. With Ryder, I quit after four days. I just couldn’t see myself going through any more pain or frustration. But had I just hung in there a little longer, who knows? With Reid, around the 4-5 day mark I once again found myself caving, but I was steadfast and held my ground. And just like most mamas predicted, after about 10 days, suddenly it hurt a LOT less, my nipples “toughened” up and stopped bleeding, and like magic, Reid got the hang of it.
So I’m now a HUGE fan of the two week rule. Of course, there are many instances in which no matter how long you persevere, breastfeeding is not for you (or your child). But in instances where your resolve is weaning purely based on pain and/or discomfort, hang in there. You’ll be amazed at how quickly things turn around.
3) The “latch” is a temporary phenomenon.
When you’re first introduced to breastfeeding, it’s all about baby’s latch. You’ll find written instructions, diagrams and even videos which will show you the preferred placement of baby’s mouth on nipple. And while it is vitally important in those early days to establish a correct latch, rest assured, after a month or two, you’ll no longer be so interested what baby is doing with his/her mouth. Because once a baby learns how to get what he needs, he’ll get it – lying down, upside down, you name it. In fact, Reid’s currently favourite position is with me lying on my back and him crouched over me with his butt in the air. It goes against everything I know about gravity, but hey, he’s drinking and he’s happy. The latch is only important in those early days – after that, baby’s instincts will take over.
4) A breast pump is a valuable tool.
Yes, I wrote a review and had a giveaway for a Medela Freestyle. But I just want to put it on record that I firmly stand behind both the product, company, and value of having a quality breast pump on hand. It’s particularly important in the first month, while establishing supply.
The Medela Freestyle helped me in the following ways:
a) In between BF’ing sessions, I pumped to stimulate my milk supply.
b) I sometimes topped off Reid after breast feeding with the pumped milk, so I was always certain he’d had enough to drink. Took a lot of the guesswork out, and saved me from supplementing with formula.
c) Pumping and storing allowed me to be away from Reid for short periods of time, and even gave me a break at night when hubby took over one feed.
Not sure if it was nature or all my efforts pumping to stimulate supply, but for the first 7-8 months I actually had an oversupply to the point of engorgement. But I’m not complaining!
5) The weight doesn’t always “fall off”.
It’s always amusing to read about celebrities’ theories on how they dropped the baby weight. “It’s definitely the breastfeeding” they always say. Oh sure. It has nothing to do with the personal trainers, team of nannies (who allow them to spend 5 hours a day in the gym), personal chefs or calorie-restricted diets. And it’s most definitely not that jaunt down to Brazil for a quick nip and tuck.
Now while it is a fact that breastfeeding burns up to 500 calories per day, technically, to maintain a healthy supply, it’s advised that lactating mothers increase their calorie intake by 300 calories. However, as most exclusively BF’ing mommies will tell you – you’re freaking STARVING all the time! So with a proposed deficit of 200 calories, the weight won’t necessarily fall off dramatically. BUT, breastfeeding will help you return to your pre-pregnancy shape more quickly, and with less intervention. It also helps if your body is in prime physical shape before you conceive – as any trainer will tell you, muscles have memory.
However, don’t be surprised if you hang on to an extra few pounds until you’ve started the weaning process – in the two weeks following Reid’s introduction to homo milk, I dropped 6 pounds without even trying. Turns out my body needed that extra fat to aid with the production of quality milk for my babe – a trade off I’m more than willing to oblige.
So there you have it – five things I didn’t know just one year ago, but am happy to share now. And to all the past, present and future breast feeders out there, my final tip post-lactation: invest in a quality push up bra!
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| LA VIE EN ROSE AIR PAD BRA |
You are so right Lena about everything. I did it with my three boys….my first son was 18 months and my second was almost 2. My third son was weaned at 12 months just because of work reasons and he also decided enough was enough. eek, the latch…if I heard one more person tell me one of my babies was latched on wrong, or this was wrong or that was wrong…I swear I would have blown a gasket….all babies are different and if I was comfy and he was eating good and gaining weight then that was perfect. It was hard to wean, I did miss those quiet times with just me and the baby. Oh and yes….no matter what people say a good push up bra when you are done!!!!
It's funny, I have a 3 month old and the other day I was thinking the same thing about the latch. Now it doesn't matter about the latch! I would have 2 tips on top of yours: 1) take a breastfeeding class before, and if you have a second baby take it again! I am on my 2nd baby and I thought it would be like riding a bike, but it's not. 2) if you keep getting blocked ducts or mastisis something might be wrong. I quit nursing at 7 months with my first because of those continuing problems and it turns out he was tongue tied. I found it myself instead of the doctor or nurse!
**I apologize ahead for the novel!I had a horrible first experience with breastfeeding, and my second wasn't much better. I had surgery in my late teens and knew that my chances of breastfeeding were not likely, but I tried anyways.After having Aidan, the Breastfeeding Clinic at Oakville Trafalgar pushed me to the point where I found myself nursing, pumping, supplementing, going for weigh-ins at the hospital, all the while being utterly exhausted from caring for a 4-week old. It was only when I broke down at the pediatrician's office (all it took was the question "are you ok?") that I made the decision to feed Aidan formula only. I saw a sudden change in his growth and development, but I felt horrible guilt in the years ahead, asking myself why I had surgery, and how I could have taken the chance of breastfeeding not working?When Josh came along, I tried again, hoping that the second time would work out. Like Aidan, he lost weight, wouldn't sleep, was just miserable. At 4-weeks old, I had to put him on formula only as his weight dropped drastically. It broke my heart again, but I had to let go of the guilt. My son was being fed, and it didn't matter how he was receiving his food.With both my boys, I spent their first years kissing them all over while bottle-feeding them, and happily watching their father and other family members feed them and share in the experience. If I ever have a third child, I would start with formula from the very start. I wouldn't attempt breastfeeding again. I know that I've lost out on something special with my boys by not breastfeeding, but I'm the only one affected by this. My boys don't know any better, and feel no loss.As mom's, we try to be superheroes with an "I CAN DO ANYTHING" attitude. Sometimes we just have to let reality & life win, and we can't be hard on ourselves when this happens. If I had not been so set on breastfeeding, the first precious weeks with my little guys would have been much more enjoyable, without breastfeeding hanging over my head.It's made out to be the most important thing in the world…I learned the hard way that it's really not. Would I have preferred to breastfeed for that first year? Definitely yes! It's an experience that I loved while it lasted. But do I have any regrets? Certainly not. I now have two happy, healthy boys, growing and developing at a steady rate.If I had any advice for a new mom, it would be to listen to yourself and know that YOU will do what’s best for your child. Don’t let anyone push or pressure you into doing something that you know is just not working. The first precious months with your new baby should be happy ones, they shouldn’t leave you crying through the night.A happy mom is a happy baby :)
I could absolutely cry with thanks to you for the first thing on your list. I did not breastfeed my daughter, and I do not plan to do so with any future children. It's not for me, and I'm not going into the reasons. But the grief I got over it…unreal. Seriously people, it's not YOUR boobs! I can't tell you how much I appreciate you saying this so that every mother can feel that she is caring for her baby, no matter whether she uses formula or breastmilk. You are 100% right–it's about caring and nourishing your baby. THANK YOU.
God bless you, your blog and your pearls of wisdom! Keep it up! Love reading!
But in the air nursing! My daughter does that exact same thing, and has ever since she had the strength to do it.
Thanks to Shauna for her comment. I have a 1 month old and have also found myself nursing, pumping, supplementing. Thrown into the mix was a similar surgery (which I don't regret) and some complications with our little one that left me doing all this at a children's hospital sleeping in a cot by her bedside. I rented the symphony for a month and just started using the freestyle last week based on Lena's recommendation. I wish I had had the freestyle sooner. While the symphony is awesome — carting it back and forth the hospital and sitting in one place for long pumping sessions left me completely exhausted and resenting the whole process. The saving grace was that I knew going into this that I would have challenges. I just kept repeating to myself, some is better than none. And persevered. My supply still sucks.. but.. every little bit helps.
Ladies, thank you so much for your heartfelt feedback. I want to reply to each one individually and will do so later today – just off to take the boys to their annual checkup this morning. xo
@Tracy – After hearing about the "latch" after the first month, I too decided it's all hype. You said it – if the baby is happy and gaining weight, he's getting what he wants!@Anonymous – thanks so much, those are two great tips! I would never think to go to a breastfeeding class with the second, but every baby IS different!@Shauna – never apologize for novels – I love having reading material!And, never feel you have to justify your reasons for NOURISHING your baby. I'm so happy you have made peace with what works for you. I had so, so much postpartum guilt with Ryder for not breastfeeding – especially since I felt like I was the only mother on the planet giving my baby formula (silly, but that's what it seemed like). With Reid, I made a promise to myself that if breastfeeding didn't work out, I'd open the can of formula (I had 6 tins on hand just in case) and not look back. So I know what you mean by just letting go and focusing on what works for you.@dannyscotland – I think we all can agree that nurturing is very closely tied to nourishment. :)@Monica – blushing! xo@Misfit Mommy – ah, another airborn-butt baby! Love it!@Anonymous – kudos to you for persevering. Sending you lots of boobie dust so that your supply increases… or lots of love and support should you choose to supplement.