Our latest episode took place yesterday evening, shortly after dinner. Ryder was running around, grateful to be unleashed from his booster seat. Husband was sitting on the couch with the baby, watching a rerun of Two and a Half Men. Ryder grabbed the remote control and flung it into his toy box, generating the all-too-familiar crash of plastic on plastic.
“Naughty boy!” Ryder called out gleefully, before Mike or I could reprimand him.
Well, I thought, what can I say to that? I ignored him and continued washing the dishes.
In the background, I could hear Charlie Sheen’s character speaking woefully about his mooch of a brother. “Son of a B—-!” he declared. Ryder’s ears perked up, and for one very long moment I held my breath, waiting for him to repeat the obscenity (we’re still not over the F—/Paper Towel debacle, day 53 and counting).
Thankfully, he went back to stomping around the family room, collecting his Hot Wheels with great concentration. I gave Mike a “change the channel now” look, but he was already on it, sifting through the toys for the remote control.
The phone rang. It was Grandma, checking in to see how the boys were doing.
“Come say hi to Grandma,” I called to Ryder.
He trotted up to the phone, held it poetically against his ear, and greeted her –
“Naughty B—-!“
Seriously, folks. I don’t dream this shiz up.
Needless to say I was ONCE AGAIN mortified by my son’s potty mouth, and could only come up with a weak explanation (excuse) for his behaviour. He’s an impressionable toddler, after all. Has nothing to do with my questionable parenting skills, surely that’s not it.
One day I’ll laugh about this. You can laugh about it now, I won’t hold it against you. Just one thing – Ryder would like to say hi…
I can somewhat relate. They are such little repeaters at this stage. Yesterday, I had a talk radio station on in the car and the host was talking about this week's court ruling striking down Canada's anti-prostitution law. Anyway, darling daughter heard the phrase bawdy house said by the host and she repeated it several times. "Bawdy house, bawdy house, bawdy house." Obviously it is no swear word, but it isn't necessarily something I want my two year old to say. She has said the f word a couple of times, but when she does it (and it is not too often) we try to "correct her" telling her she wants to say hockey puck, rather than f–k. They are right when they say little pitchers have big ears.
Oh, I know that in real life it's not funny, and I am sorry he is repeating the bad words. But reading it is soooooo funny! I'm really glad that you can see the humor in it (for others) and I hope he does outgrow this phase soon. I guess I should be thankful that my daughter doesn't talk yet.
@Valerie – I think I'd giggle if I heard your little girl saying "Bawdy House!"@dannyscotland – Oh, it's funny to me too. I may even miss this stage when it's over :)
awww Lena your son is sooooo cute!!!!!!!!
Careful, careful, it's not just swearing! LOLMy husband one night (when he thought we were all asleep) was playing a violent video game (Splinter Cell) and my 3 yo daughter crept up behind him to ask for water during a shooting rampage. He didn't think anything of it at the time, but then the next day, I saw she had a circle of My Little Ponies on the floor, half standing, half lying down, and *gulp* I asked why the ponies where sleeping and she replied, they're not sleeping Mommy! Those ponies killed those ponies – pointing at each! Ahhhh!!! Toddlerhood is SO FUN! =)
Oh they are little parrots… My 2 year old heared her Daddy say something nasty… Then the cat woke us all up one night, and she said "Daddy, Is that just that F^@%in' cat again?" Oh my word! I KNOW she didn't hear me say that!
@Monica – bad influences are everywhere! Violence, adult situations, explicit language – eek! Poor ponies :)@Amy – okay, I had tears in my eyes laughing at your story! Bahaha!
haha that made my afternoon! Not that I condone swearing and am also known in the house as the proud sister that taught her brothers to swear at a young age!All I can say is "OH MY GOD" hahah
Lol that video is too cute! And you know what's funny? At the end of your video, there's a link to a mascara video.. Cracked me up! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKVO8dJH0LQ&feature=player_embedded
OMG Ryder is SO adorable!!! :-D and I'm sorry, but tell me it takes everything in you to not blurt out laughing when they say things like that…I know we don't want to condone potty mouthes! Don't worry, this too shall pass…my daugher JUST stopped using the F bomb when she gets really angry 'Oh f$#%!' she's been known to say…but thankfully stopped weeks before JK started, so she doesn't look like she comes from 'trucker' parents…no offense to truckers! ;-D
Hahahahahaha. I just saw the video. OMG. Priceless. You will be howling about this one day! Hahahahahaha. What a cutie patootie Ryder is. OMG!!!Janice
@Rubex Cube – Yeah you were a naughty big sister weren't ya? @Sandy – ha ha, I watched the silly mascara video! And then I prompted removed "related" videos from Ryder's :)@Josie – oh, we laugh our heads off, just not in front of him! We'll basically give him a stern look and then turn around, smiling like crazy!@Janice – it would be cuter if we could get your little princess to say it! Ha, she'd look like a matron of Manhattan!
OMG, Lena, I can't help but laugh. Working in daycare with toddlers for 12 years, I have heard some many things come out of some many little mouths, but it still cracks me up when they pick something like that and use it so innocently. And I am right there with you, Liam's phase of choice lately is "Oh Sh!t" . . . he wanted the mop the other day when Daddy was mopping, Daddy gave it him, he dropped in on his foot and instantly said "oh sh!t" . . . and it's come out a few times since! It is so hard not to laugh!
This post came into my blackberry via RSS feed (sans video), and while I was dying laughing while reading, the video tops it off.PRICELESS!
BEST. VIDEO. EVER. EVER!!!!
Aww so cute…even while he's swearing;) xoxo
LOL, your son is so adorable. How he said it (with that cute smile) was pretty priceless. Naughty B*= Naughty BLEEP or Nasty Beast? Kids and their spongy minds :).