Our latest episode took place yesterday evening, shortly after dinner. Ryder was running around, grateful to be unleashed from his booster seat. Husband was sitting on the couch with the baby, watching a rerun of Two and a Half Men. Ryder grabbed the remote control and flung it into his toy box, generating the all-too-familiar crash of plastic on plastic.
“Naughty boy!” Ryder called out gleefully, before Mike or I could reprimand him.
Well, I thought, what can I say to that? I ignored him and continued washing the dishes.
In the background, I could hear Charlie Sheen’s character speaking woefully about his mooch of a brother. “Son of a B—-!” he declared. Ryder’s ears perked up, and for one very long moment I held my breath, waiting for him to repeat the obscenity (we’re still not over the F—/Paper Towel debacle, day 53 and counting).
Thankfully, he went back to stomping around the family room, collecting his Hot Wheels with great concentration. I gave Mike a “change the channel now” look, but he was already on it, sifting through the toys for the remote control.
The phone rang. It was Grandma, checking in to see how the boys were doing.
“Come say hi to Grandma,” I called to Ryder.
He trotted up to the phone, held it poetically against his ear, and greeted her –
Seriously, folks. I don’t dream this shiz up.
Needless to say I was ONCE AGAIN mortified by my son’s potty mouth, and could only come up with a weak explanation (excuse) for his behaviour. He’s an impressionable toddler, after all. Has nothing to do with my questionable parenting skills, surely that’s not it.
One day I’ll laugh about this. You can laugh about it now, I won’t hold it against you. Just one thing – Ryder would like to say hi…