I had set a goal for myself this summer; get Ryder on the toilet and off his beloved choo choo. Since he has yet to sit on the toilet without screaming his head off (let alone offer up poop), I’ll direct my jubilation at the latter accomplishment.
My love/hate relationship with the pacifier began when Ryder was 2 weeks old. Possessing a strong sucking instinct, being formula fed and having a mommy with zero child rearing experience is a terrible combination (at least in this home). At first, I thought that he exhibited signs of hunger shortly after he was fed (crying, rooting, sucking on his hands). So I would quickly make another feed – only to have him fall asleep at the bottle immediately. Grrr. I hated throwing away formula, especially since I was still trying to reconcile the fact that Ryder would be going through about $30 of the stuff per week. Anyhoo, this happened at least 10 times before I realized that perhaps all he wanted was a little soothing comfort.
It was then that my mom suggested perhaps a paci was in order. So after spending about half an hour staring at an overcrowded display at Babies R Us (I used to spend half an hour trying on shoes) I finally settled on Born Free binkies. As 2008 was the year of the BPA scare, they seemed as good a choice as any.
That evening, I introduced Ryder to his silicone companion. He took to it immediately, greedily sucking away until slumber hit literally moments later. I vaguely felt like a drug dealer doling out the goods to an unsuspecting minor, but I couldn’t deny that RYDER WAS SLEEPING. Not crying, not fussing, not demanding to be rocked in my arms. S-l-e-e-p-i-n-g.
However, over the next few days, I began to obsess that he may become hooked on his choo choo. To me, it was horrifying to see 3 and 4 year olds on the playground with pacifiers hanging from their necks. It was an addiction, pure and simple. I pictured him sucking on it thoughtfully while he handled long division. Perhaps he might take one to the first day of ninth grade. And what if he wanted it on his wedding day? Could I find one to coordinate with his tux?
And then I discovered that it doesn’t actually work that way; the point of a pacifier is to provide continual sucking gratification, with the crucial element being “continual.” As in, Ryder was fully awake and rooting around for it about 2 minutes after it left his mouth. After watching him fall satisfactorily back to sleep once relinquishing the dummy, I gave up. Instead, I promised myself that the pacifier would be a sleep aid only – banned from use when Ryder was vertical.
I made good on that promise. Ryder, for just over two years (27 months to be exact), has only taken a pacifier for his afternoon nap and at bedtime. In fact, many friends and family assumed he didn’t use one as they’d never witnessed it (except for the infamous photo above – which, ironically, suggests that he would be taking one in his freshman years).
But yes, he used one, and it was his drug.
He needed it to sleep. If I tried to put him to bed without it, he’d cry “Choo choo! Choo choo!” until I’d eventually relent. And before you tsk tsk at me for giving in, I’d like to challenge any of ya’ll to spend 5 minutes with a screaming toddler. It feels like HOURS.
So he had his binky, and I had my sanity. And I waited for the right opportunity to arrive when I could pounce – crouching mama, hidden pacifier.
It happened last week. He was running around in the basement and in classic Ryder style, barreled into a stack of toys, falling face first into Mega Bloks. His upper lip was mangled – skin and blood everywhere (thank goodness we were spared a trip to the ER; it was mostly superficial and didn’t require stitches). He went into mild shock as daddy brought him upstairs to wash him off and survey the damage.
“Can you come here for a sec?” Mike called to me. Uh oh, I thought. I knew that tone.
Well, Ryder was a-okay after a Popsicle and a hug. But I sensed an opportune moment; since his lip was now a sponge for bacteria, I cringed at the idea of giving him the germ-ridden pacifier. So I sat down on his bed and explained in a calm, soft voice:
He looked at me with wide eyes as I chanted the mantra over and over. No choo choo. Boo boo. Hurt. Then Ryder repeated: “Choo choo no. Boo boo, mouth. Hurt!” I nodded.
“Okay,” he said. “Good night. Bye bye. Muah.”
And that was that. He slept through the night without a peep. I knelt at the altar of the pacifier gods and offered up Ryder’s binky for sacrifice.
The next afternoon, as I put him down for a nap, he solemnly said, “No choo choo. Boo boo. Mouth.” I nodded and gave him a HUGE hug.
Well, friends, his lip has since healed… but he seems to be under the impression that the pacifier will hurt him in some way. You know what? I don’t think I’m going to do anything to dispel that notion. Thankfully Reid wants nothing to do with a pacifier, so there isn’t a frequent reminder in his face about his beloved companion. BLISS.
BYE BYE BINKY!!!
Awesome story – we too LOVED our soothers around here. (Both mom and babies) Our kids got rid of theirs using the "Soother Fairy" – just like the tooth fairy – Child leaves soother on the window sill and the "ninga/nawny fairy" ("Ninga" or "Nawny" was what we called it)left the child a toy in return for the soother. It worked like a charm – there were some initial tears saying good bye to "Ninga" & "Nawny" but all in all – it worked!!!
Good for you! I can TOTALLY relate to this as both my little ones were addicted to what we called the "bips". For my eldest it took a week of crying at night to get her to sleep without it — she was the one who called it the 'Bips' and she kept crying in the middle of the night, "my bips! my bips!"It's funny that we all have our own names for the binky eh?
LOL!! Awesome story, Lena!! I was at Sherway the other day and there was a kid who looked like he was around 4 years old, with a pacifier in his mouth. I though, "hmmm…odd". What made things worse was that he was such an angry kid, kicking everything in the store with such aggression!! He was trying to be all bad-a$$ with a binky in his mouth!! LOL!!! His mom said nothing. She was on her cell and didn't care that he was destroying the store. BRUTAL!!!
What a wonderfully well-told story! I loved reading this. And way to kick the habit! Congrats!
Great story Lena! glad to hear the binky is gone!
@Leslie – I tried the Soother Fairy!!! … BUT, Ryder wasn't interested in toys or treats – he was NOT giving it up, ha ha ha. So happy to hear it worked for you!@Michelle – I was laughing so hard picturing your little one crying "my bips! my bips!" because that's exactly how Ryder would cry out choo choo! when I tried to take it away. @silverbullet71 – HILARIOUS!!! A bad ass with a binky *shakes head*@Amanda – why thank you doll!@Nancy – me too! Thanks hun!
Cute story, very well written – its as if I was on the binky journey myself! Sadly there were no binky's in our household growing up only thumbs! haha I wonder which one is the lesser of the two evils?xoxo
Hey Lena when my daughter was little I went to my mothers and realized that at bed time I had forgotten her bottle at home!! Well we happened to be watching a show with a baby elephant. So I told my daughter that the baby elephant took it Expecting a huge riff she looked at me and said ok!!! just like that Bye Bye bottles!!!! Whoo Hoo!!!!!
Congrats! I have to say…I HATE those things! As much as I prayed for my boys to take one during the first 6 hellish weeks, I was very relieved that they both balked at them in the end. One less thing to have to take away in future! You'll have to post a pic of adorable Ryder sans the binky :) Thanks again for another great story!
I love your stories. You write them so well. My oldest used his meme. I too felt like an enabler. But in the long run no harm no fowl.
Awesome job! NowI just need to know if there is ANY secret to possibly avoid giving one in the first place in our house?
Loved your post! Wish I was posting the same story right now but sadly, we're still addicted here. I think it would be quite mean to purposely hurt her mouth just to rid the pacifier dependance. So we'll keep looking for other suggestions.
Yay! That's amazing- and pain free for you! What a big boy you have :) Congratulations! So now that your baby is a big boy- does it make you want another?!
haha loved this story! Glad it all worked out
Love this story! Congrats:)
@Rubex Cube – Reid is a thumb sucker! Ahhh!!! Not sure what to do about it yet…@Anon – good thinking on your toes! Blame it on the elephant!@Shauna – your boys are amazing (and super adorable)!@Lori – thank you!@Joyo – it's trial and error, my friend.@she – no, definitely do not hurt her on purpose! ha ha@Amy – Ha ha, I've got another! Reid is only 3 months old, give me some time woman!@Farah and Lotus – thanks! Mwah!