This morning, I’ve been treated to breakfast by the computer, so I can sit back and blog! Ah, sometimes life is a bowl of cherries :)
Today I’ll share a secret. Before Ryder was born, becoming a mom was more of a romantic notion than a well informed decision. I liked the idea of having a family; the idea of being pregnant and having people gush over my baby bump; the idea of a year away from work. I callously ditched the pill on my honeymoon, thinking whatevs, when it happens it happens.
As it turns out, I must have skipped Health Education a lot in high school, because I was actually shocked to find out I was pregnant a month later. But once again, I was enveloped by the whole fairy tale, and looked forward to decorating a nursery, buying baby onesies, and of course, counting down the days to being a mother.
And then, the day before Mother’s Day 2008, I gave birth to my little Ryder Roonie – the sweetest little angel I had ever laid eyes on (even when he was covered in that birth gunk – okay, for a split second I thought “eww” – but you know how it is). I found out I would be discharged from the hospital the next day – Mother’s Day – and the fairy tale was complete.
Or perhaps I should say the fairy tale ended.
Faced with a demanding, screaming baby, tons of help but little direction, and zero confidence in my ability to care for this precious little boy, I tailspinned into a bout of depression that had me longing for my once carefree life. I stared at my beautiful baby and wished I could go back in time… and take the pill for 2 more years. Or 4 more years. Or indefinitely.
But the wonderful thing about babies is their ability to find that secret passage to your heart, crawl through when you least expect it and take over with gusto. All the things I had previously loved – freedom, sleep, extra spending money – had been pushed away to make room for the overwhelming force that is Ryder. All at once, my life was complete.
And his hold was so undeniable that this former career gal, shopaholic and budding wine enthusiast traded her job, Prada handbags and Folonari Valpolicella for life as a Stay at Home Mom.
And so tomorrow, when Ryder turns 2 years old and we’re on baby watch for his little brother to arrive, I am constantly thankful for being part of this elite club of extraordinary women; with my mentor being my own loving mother. To all the mothers, mothers-to-be and grandmothers – I wish you a day full of peace and happiness.
Fun fact: This is my third Mother’s Day – yet Ryder will turn 2 tomorrow. He was 1 day old on MD 2008, he turned 1 on MD 2009, and he’ll be 2 the day after MD 2010. Weird, eh?
The picture above was taken by the lovely and talented Sharon Navarro, who is celebrating her first Mother’s Day.